Desire for confirmation of self-honesty

Self-honesty is self-evident. Within self-honesty, self knows that self is honest to self as Life with certainty and there is no desire for confirmation from another point. The very desire for confirmation from another point is an indication that self is not honest to self. I have this desire of being confirmed that i am self-honest and present that i am self-honeset, which indicates that i do not understand self-honesty and i am not self-honest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire that another being tells me that i am self-honest and fear that other people may discover that i am self-dishonest and judge me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to regard Bernard/Sunnette/Dimensional beings/other forum members to be more than me, perceiving/believing that if they tell me that i am self-honest then i am self-hoenst and if they tell me that i am self-dishonest then i am self-dishonest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i can not trust myself to distingush between self-hoensty and self-dishonesty and must let other people especially those i perceived to be more than me to tell me whether i am self-honest or self-dishonest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to expect other people to tell me that i am self-honest, believing that i can only trust that self-honest when other people tell me that i am self-honest -- which is but an idea of self-honesty and not what self-honesty really is.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that i have lived an idea of self-honesty.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that i am self-honest which but an imagination/idea within myself instead of living self-honesty witin self-trust.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that i can not trust myself to see whether i am self-honest or self-dishonest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self-trust -- not allowing myself to trust myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to present to others that i am self-honest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to prove to other people that i am self-honest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be judged if i am existing in self-dishonesty instead of realizing that this is self-judgement.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define self-dishonesty as bad/evil and that if i am self-dishonest, i deserve to be judged/accused/punished/abused/tortured as a payment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear punishment, and within this fear of punishment i defined myself as fear of self-dishonesty and thus resist/deny/justify self-dishonesty at all cost.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist/deny/justify self-dishonesty at all cost out of fear of punishment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as fear of punishment which is a system construct/design that i have developed since i was a child fearing to be punished physically by my father.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form such a belief that if i admit something that is reagarded as bad, i will then receive punishment which has given me such a perception/idea/belief that taking self-responsibility by admitting what i have done = receiving punishment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react in resistance/denial/justification automatically/immediately when i am confronted.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that i become that which i fear/resist/deny/justify.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self-dishonesty that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become by resisting/denying/fearing self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that i have trapped myself into self-dishonesty through fearing/resisting/denying/justifying self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that i have acccepted and allowed myself to attack/abuse other people within my mind when i feel threatened/attacked which most of the time is but my interpretation.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being supersensitive and easily 'hurt'/threatened.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in high tension, always ready to deny/defend/justify what i have done.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to still live the pattern that i have developed when i was a child.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to please/satisfy my father.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed msyelf to want to get validation/confirmation from my father.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire my parents to tell me that i am good.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react within my mind, saying "how dare you say that? i will kill you." LOL!!!

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the idea of self-honesty to hide the self-honesty that exists within me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful towards beings who tell me that i am self-dishonest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse/torture beings within my mind if the being does not give me that i desired.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to say in my mind:"You fucking give it to me, fucking bitch" -- really a demonitc expression.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to the reactive behavior within me, saying "How dare you say that? I will kill you. You fucking give it to me, fucking bitch. Who the fuck give you the right to tell me what to do?" and imagine within my mind of me being mad and furious and actually act upon these imaginations within my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as these reactive behaviors, and actually follow these behaviors, instead of seeing the ridiculousness of the situation.