Friday, April 29, 2011

In Tune with my Environment

The following is a blog post that I publised on my Chinese blog on 2009-07-03 which I am now moving here with some modifications.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzE2f6ID7gQ

The experience I had that I am in tune with which I described as being synchronized with my environment is actually the expression of me being one and equal with the entire moment. It is not a systematic expression. It is me as the moment. Within me being one and equal with the entire moment I see direct/clear and that is why I know exactly what i need to do in that moment - which I perceived to be a sense of 'predestination': I am doing exactly what I am supposed to do. I did not understand this experience and judged it. So I had the experience of being one and equal with the entire moment, seeing direct/clear what needs to be done in the moment as what is best for all in the moment, and apply/do/express/direct myself as it. This is self-direction/self-movement/self-expression! See choie does no exist - I do what I am 'supposed' to do in the moment - what is best for all seen direct in the moment. Now I can understand what I experienced. My experience was that I did exactly what I was supposed to do in the moment. Yet that action/expression/direction I did not see beforehand - it is seen in the moment directly. So I can not predict what I did, yet at the same time I experienced that I did exactly what I was supposed to do. Although seems to be determined beforehand, it actually was not.

I honour myself as the moment as what is best for all as Life as all as one as equal no matter what.


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Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/

Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/

Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/

My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum

My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe

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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Seclusion out of Fear of the System

I have the tendency to go into seclusion, mostly out of fear. I feared communication/participation/interaction with this world. Why? I see that this world is a systematic reality - everything I see is of consciousness system. I feared influence from the systematic reality. Within this fear I created an idea of 'not supporting the system' through going into seclusion - escaping from the system. I used this idea of not supporting the system to hide my fear and justify seclusion. Within seclusion, I went into experiences of all sorts of emotional shit - anxiety/insecurity/suppression/depression/frustration/lack of self-trust/abdication of self-responsibility. Fear of the system is actually fear of myself - fear of facing myself and taking self-responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become. I did not see each moment as an opportunity of self-intimacy, instead I allowed myself to exist in absolute limitation - giving all my power away to the system. And I did not see the common sense: if I fear/hide/escape from myself and from the system, how am I going to ever change and how is this world ever going to change? The first step is to stop fear and allow myself to see myself within my participation in my world.

I assist and support myself to participate actively in this world within consideration of what is necesary to be done practically that is best for all as self-expression and self-direction in the moment. I direct. I move. I apply. I express. I live. I within and as awareness as who I really am as Life as all as one as equal, stand one and equal with the entire moment, seeing direct/clear what is necessary to be done/what is best for all in the moment, then direct/move/apply/express/live the moment accordingly. This way, I allow my inner awareness to be expressed/manifested/lived in my outer reality. In this way I purify my inner reality and my outer reality and expand myself.

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Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear communication/participation/interaction with this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect 'communication/participation/interaction with this world' to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear influence from the systematic reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect influence from the systematic reality to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that nothing is able to influence me unless I allow it and unless I give permission - thus my responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that no human being or dimensional being is influencing another – I am all alone with my own mind manifested ‘influences'.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the only way anything is able to influence me is if I exist in separation of that ‘something' or ‘someone'.

This article explains the point of outer influence (http://desteni.co.za/a/questions-and-perspectives-concern-for-outside-separate-influences)

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the reason I feared this systematic reality is because I have separated myself from this systematic reality which is actually a reflection and manifestation of myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become - thus I am actually fearing myself.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect myself to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the system.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the system to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my systematic self - that which I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a mind consciousnesss system.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect my systematic self as the mind consciousness system to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear outer/separate influences.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect outer/separate influences to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from this systematic reality which is a reflection of the systematic self within and as what I have become as the mind consciousness system.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility through separatoin from what I have accepted and allowed myeslf to be and become as this systematic reality and my systematic self as the MCS.
 
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have created and manifested my perceived outer 'influences' through my mind.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my mind.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my mind.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect my mind to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have been influenced by other people instead of realizing that I have given permission to the influence through separation - creating and manifesting the influence through my mind.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my power through abdicating self-responsibility - taking responsibility for what I have become, manifested and created.
 
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am responsible for the perceived 'influences' from other people.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame other people including some Desteni members to mislead me.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in blame.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility through my participation in blame.
 
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the only reason I can be misled is through my acceptance and allowance of seperation - separating myself from other Desteni members through believing them to be superior to me or more than me and that whatever they said must be automatically true.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from other Desteni members through believing them to be superior to me or more than me and that whatever they said must be automatically true - which in fact is me being misled by my mind into such a belief.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be misled by my mind into a belief of other Destonians to be more than me or superior to me.
 
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have created and manifested the experience of being misled through accepting and allowing myself to be misled by my  mind into a belief that other Destonians are  more than me or superior to me.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the polarity of superiority/inferiority, less than/more than.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I may mislead others.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect me misleading others to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I may mislead others because I hold onto the belief and blame that I have been misled by others.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the belief and blame that I have been misled by others.
 
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into seclusion out of fear of this world which is myself.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the habitual pattern of seclusion.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear and go into seclusion instead of directing myself within standing as the self-directive-principle as who I am.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear to have control and power over me.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing seclusion to have control and power over me.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just my self-definition as the habitual pattern of seclusion through creating the idea that by going into seclusion I am 'not supporting the system', instead of being honest to myself that I am actually escaping from the system out of fear and justifying my self-definition as seclusion.
 
 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create this mutal 'support' of my self-definitions - using one self-definition to justify and support another self-definition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the mutal support network of my self-definitions of/as the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect fear of the system/my systematic self to seclusion.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect facing myself to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self-intimacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect self-intimacy to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to see into myself (intimacy - into me I see).

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect seeing into myself to fear - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.


Self-Corrective-Statement:

I accept and realize that escaping from participation in this world is not a solution and nothing will change until I at least allow myself to see what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind consciousness system and the manfiestation of this systematic reality as the unified consciousness field.

I accept and allow myself to SEE my accepted and allowed self through my participation in this world.

I accept and allow myself to participate in this world and SEE who I currently am.

I accept and allow self-intimacy - into me I see.

I accept and allow myself to face myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and take self-responsibility and stand up.

I do not accept and allow myself to be controlled/directed fear.

I do not accept and allow myself to go into seclusion as a justification of my fear of facing myself and becoming intimate with myself.

I do not accept and allow myself to fear outer/separate influences.

I accept and allow myself to realize that can only be influenced unless I give permission and that I separate myself from that which I fear to be influenced.

I accept and allow myself to see each moment as an opportunity to be intimate with myself.

I do not accept and allow myself to be controlled/directed by fear or limit myself out of fear - I assist and support myself to break the hold and limitations of fears.


Self-suggestions:

When I find myself going into seclusion, I assist and support myself to do something physical to get out the mind state,  go out for a walk in nature, to have some discussions with other people - to participate basically.


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Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/

Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/

Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/

My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum

My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe

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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Stopping Knife-Phobia in Desteni I Process

About two years ago, I started to have a peculiar fear - fear of knives. I know I created it because I did not have such a fear before - it is a reactive pattern that is developped. When I saw a knife, some pictures of harm/kill etc would come up into my mind and almost immediately I went into fear and had a physical reaction such as putting my arm in front of my chest to sort of protect myself. It bothered me quite a lot because every time I saw a kinfe this pattern would come up. But at that time I did not have specific and effective tools to stop this pattern. From my understanding at that time, it seemed to be some form of mental disease. So I looked up on the web to search for related information about such fears and did find some relevant information. It is described that patients suffering from this kind of disease would have those pictures or thoughts coming up into their minds which they can not direct/control. Some of those pictures/thoughts might be very weird - for example, a mother having pictures suddenly coming up into her mind of throwing the child in her arms into river - something like that. The patients do not know how to stop those pictures which has become a habitual behavior and feared that they might actually act upon those thoughts/pictures. And we do not have effective treatment for this kind of mental disease.

I went through that experience so I know that kind of suffering - It's like fighting a battle that I can never win because I do not understand what I am dealing with. It's not a disease that can be treated with some physical medication. It mostly depend on the patients to overcome their insanity of the mind and the fears that the mind generate. Our current science do not Actually know much about how the mind works - let alone to say understanding the mind on a specific level and have specific treatments for specific mental diseases. I mean, in order to treat a disease effectively we have to understand how it is developped - the cause of it.

In my particular case, the start of this pattern of knife-phobia can be traced back to a night more than two years ago. At that time I was not very stable because I was still in the beginning of my process and could not find my feet. That night I was haunted by a memory. The memory is as follows: "My family was watching a TV program one night some years ago. It was about an event of robbery or stealing where someone got into the house and was found by the host. The host fought with the person using a kitchen knife and chopped towards the person’s head several times and the knife just got bounced back. My father said if he were in that situation he would chop towards the person’s neck. I reacted into fear imagining within my mind this whole scenario if the kitchen knife were chopped at my head or neck."  -- This particular picture of kitchen kinfes chopping at my head and neck played out within my mind over and over and over again and I reacted in fear. The picture just seemed unstoppable - I was literally possessed by it. And I did not know how to stop it. Each time it played out in my mind, I went into fear and that pattern intensified each time. It became an unresolved issue that I did not know what to do about it. And then when I saw a knife or the picture of a kinfe in my life somewhere, that particular picture of knives chopping at me would come up into my mind and I went into that pattern reaction of fear which gradually became a habitual pattern. Each time I saw a kinfe, this pattern built onto itself one more layer based on that experience - so it became a multiple-layered habitual pattern. Then the strange thing is that I started to identify myself as such pattern - believing it to be unchangible and that would just be how I behave in relation to knife.

So from investigating this pattern, I see how this whole construct of kinfe-phobia is created through my acceptance/allowance/participation in the repetition of a singular memory/picture which was not dealt with immdediatelly and effectively - gradually built onto itself multiple layers each time it repeats and became a habitual pattern that seemed to be unchangable. I created this pattern through my acceptance and allowance and participation in my mind - allowing a memory/picture to direct me, allowing fear to control me. Thus I as the creator is responsible for such a creation which is a suffering experience that requires to be stopped. And the key to stop is self-forgiveness - specific self-forgiveness within self-honest starting point of investigation of the self-created pattern. This month's subject of the course Introduction to Desteni is about the fear system. It's a perfect opportunity for me to apply the tools that I have learned from the course so far and to actually apply them on this point of knife-phobia which has bothered me for so long -- I mean to really practically solve a problem in my life that I previously felt helpless to deal with - that is something, isn't it? I know this pattern I have existed in for so long is not just going to disappear in one night. I still require to walk the correction and stop the insane fear that has caused me so much suffering, but I no longer feel helpless to deal with it because I have the effective tools to work on it.


Below I attached my assignment of this month for the ITD course of the Desteni I Process - (not the complete document, but sufficient for understanding how I worked it through).


Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/
Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/
Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/
My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum
My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe
 
By the way, I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.
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1. Laying-out the Thought-Construct




1.1 Identify the thoughts of fear that came up in your writing:

I have to be careful so that the knife does not cut my finger.



1.2 Other Components



1.2.1 Emotion: Fear

Other emotions: Anxiety

Feelings:



1.2.2 Words: knife



1.2.3 Pictures: A Japanese solider use his bayonet on his gun to stab a baby.



1.2.4 Memories:

My father talked about a news about physical harm.



2. The Thoughts Work-Sheet

2.1 Trigger point of the thought:

Seeing the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife

2.2 Type of thought: Fear – specify what type of fear:

Fear of knives/Pain (Death) – (It is more of the fear of pain in being physically harmed with knives rather than death)



2.3 Self-Forgiveness



2.3.1 Self-Forgiveness on the thought:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the thought that I have to be careful so that the knife does not cut my finger.



2.3.2 Self-Forgiveness on the trigger point of the thought:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect seeing the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife to the thought that I have to be careful so that the knife does not cut my finger.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing seeing the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife to exist as a trigger point within me – triggering the thought that I have to be careful so that the knife does not cut my finger.



2.3.3 Self-Forgiveness on the type of thought:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my finger being cut by the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect “my finger being cut by the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife” to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the pain of my finger being cut by the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect “the pain of my finger being cut by the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife” to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being killed with a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect being killed with a knife to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the pain of being killed with a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the pain of being killed with a knife to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being stabbed by a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect being stabbed by a knife to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the pain when a knife is stabbed into my body.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the pain when a knife is stabbed into my body to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear physical harm.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect physical harm to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear dying in agonizing pain.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect dying in agonizing pain to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am not able to handle the fear of being harmed with a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect “not being able to handle the fear of being harmed with a knife” to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the fear of being cut by a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the fear of the pain of being cut by a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the fear of being killed by a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the fear of physical harm.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the fear of dying in agonizing pain.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the fear of not being able to handle the fear of being harmed with a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear death.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect death to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that fear is real.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the fear of knives over and over and over again, creating and manifesting the fear system within me and within my world.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am the creator of this fear that I am experiencing.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from the fear of being harmed by a knife instead of realizing that hiding from this fear is hiding from myself because I am the creator of this fear and thus I am responsible for this fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that fear is simply a pre-programmed reaction.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the pre-programmed reaction as fear and believe it to be who I am.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away to fear – within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enslave myself to fear and become powerless in stopping fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility – the responsibility towards the pattern of fear of knives that I have created by myself as myself through my participation in it over and over and over again.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from fear, instead of taking self-responsibility to stand equal and one with/as it and stand up from within it and stop it.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the purpose of fear is to keep me from realizing myself as who I am as Life, one and equal.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the ineffectiveness, irrelevance, impracticality of fear.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive and believe that if I am more careful it is more likely I will not be cut by the knife, instead of realizing that ‘having to be careful’ is done from the starting point of fear and thus creating and manifesting fear.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I am obsessed with being careful to not cut myself, I am not completely here equal and one with what I am doing with the knife and thus I might create the experience of being cut because of the obsession with the thought of being careful to not cut myself.



2.4 Self-Corrective Statements:



I accept and realize that fear is useless, ineffective and irrelevant – fear is not going to protect me and that fear is not going to help me – it merely makes me suffer as I exist in continuous fear.



I accept and realize that fear of being harmed by knives is not going to prevent me from being harmed by knives.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the useless, ineffective, irrelevant, suffer-causing fear of being harmed by knives.



I do not accept and allow myself to suffer through existing in constant and continuous fear of being harmed by knives.





I accept and realize that fear of being harmed by knives actually manifests the experience of/as the fear of being harmed by knives because I am the creator of such an experience through my accepted and allowed nature as such a fear.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in constant and continuous fear of being harmed by knives.



I do not accept and allow myself to manifest and create my experience of being harmed by knives.



I do not accept and allow myself to continue to exist as the accepted and allowed nature of/as fear of being harmed by knives.



I stop creating my experience of being physically harmed by knives.





I accept and realize that fear is not real – it is a pre-programmed reaction of my mind that I have believed and defined as who I am and that its purpose is to keep me from realizing myself as who I am as Life, one and equal.



I do not accept and allow myself to believe that fear is real.



I do not accept and allow myself to define myself according to and as a pre-programmed reaction of my mind as fear.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in fear.



I do not accept and allow myself to enslave myself through participating in fear and believing myself to be the reaction of/as fear.



I accept and allow myself to live who I am as LIFE, one and equal – free from the control and enslavement of/as fear.





I accept and realize that fear exists through my participation and I am the creator of fear that exist within me and thus I am responsible for what I have accepted and allowed to create, manifest and define myself as which is fear – I am not separate from fear.



I do not accept and allow myself to abdicate my creation of or separate myself from fear.



I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility as creator to stand equal and one with/as it and stand up from within it and stop participating in it.





I accept and realize that ‘having to be careful’ is done from the starting point of fear and thus creating and manifesting fear and that when I am obsessed with being careful to not cut myself - I am not completely here equal and one with what I am doing with the knife and thus I might create the experience of being cut because of the obsession with the thought of having to be careful to not cut myself.



I do not accept and allow myself to be obsessed with the thought of having to be careful so that I do not cut myself.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate from the starting point of fear i.e. constantly and continuously reminding myself of having to be careful to not be cut by the knife.



I accept and allow myself to be completely here equal and one with what I am doing with the knife and use Common Sense to direct me.





The meaning of my Chinese name is literally No Fear. I accept and allow myself to live my name as No Fear – becoming the living word as No Fear.



Re-scripture of the practical solution for the trigger point:



Whenever I see a knife, I stop and breathe, I do not accept and allow myself to go into or participate in the reaction of/as fear. I stop and breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to participate in pictures within my mind related to fear. If pictures do come up, I stop and breathe and do not accept and allow myself to participate in them in any way whatsoever. I establish myself Here in the physical equal and one with/as the knife and the task that I am using the knife with and direct myself with common sense. I take self-responsibility for the pattern of fear of knives that I have created and stand up within it and stop myself as it. When I find myself going into stiffness and petrification in such a situation, I stop and breathe and just laugh to assist and support myself to break the hold of the fear – simply laughing at myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in such a useless fear.





3. The Emotion or Feeling Work-Sheet



Emotion/Feeling 1

3.1 Specific type/’shade’ of emotion/feeling:

Fear of pain



3.2 Reason for connecting thought to emotion/feeling:

I see knives as dangerous and able to harm me physically. I feared the pain of being harmed physically by knives.



3.3 Self-Forgiveness



3.3.1 Self-Forgiveness on connecting thought with emotion/feeling:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought of me having to be careful to not cut myself to an emotion experience of fear.



3.3.2 Self-Forgiveness on emotion/feeling:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the emotion of fear of being harmed by knives and the pain thereof.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotion of fear of being harmed by knives and the pain thereof because I have defined knives as dangerous and able to harm me physically.



Self-Forgiveness on the reason for Connection:



The SF on fear has been applied in the thought-construct worksheet. The point of defining knives as dangerous will be dealt with in the word web.



3.4 Self-Corrective Statement



I accept and realize that the emotion of fear does not support me in any way whatsoever and is useless, irrelevant, and impractical.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the useless, irrelevant, and impractical emotion of fear.





Emotion/Feeling 2

3.5 Specific type/’shade’ of emotion/feeling:

3.6 Anxiety



3.7 Reason for connecting thought to emotion/feeling:

fear of the possibility of me being harmed physically by knives



3.8 Self-Forgiveness



3.8.1 Self-Forgiveness on connecting thought with emotion/feeling:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought of me having to be careful to not cut myself to an emotion experience of anxiety.



3.8.2 Self-Forgiveness on emotion/feeling:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the emotion of anxiety.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotional experience of anxiety in my solar plexus.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the anxiety that I experienced in my solar plexus.



Self-Forgiveness on the reason for Connection:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotion of anxiety because of the fear of the possibility of being harmed physically by knives.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the possibility of me being harmed physically by knives.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the possibility of me being harmed physically by knives to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be worried and concerned with something that might possibly happen, instead of realizing that such worry, concern, anxiety does not assist and support me in any way whatsoever – they cannot prevent events from happening but actually create and manifest that which I worry and concern.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the experience of uncertainty of what might possibly happen.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the uncertainty of what might possibly happen.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be obsessed with the uncertainty of what might possibly happen, instead of realizing that it is as useless, irrelevant and impractical as worry, concern, anxiety, and fear.



3.9 Self-Corrective Statement



I accept and realize that the emotion of anxiety, worry, concern, uncertainty does not support me in any way whatsoever and is useless, irrelevant, and impractical.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the useless, irrelevant, and impractical emotion of anxiety, worry, concern, uncertainty.



When I find myself going into such emotional experiences as anxiety, worry, concern, uncertainty – I stop and breathe through these experiences until they exist no more within me.



4. The Words Work-Sheet



4.1 Word-Web:



Knife: Murder/ Killing, Blood, Death, Weapon, Danger, Harm, Cut, Chop, behead, pain, skinning

4.2 Self-Forgiveness

4.2.1 Self-Forgiveness on positive/negative value for word:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word knife with a negative value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word knife as bad/wrong/negative within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife through judging the word knife as bad/wrong/negative.

4.2.2 Self-Forgiveness on each point in the word-web:

Danger:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word danger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word danger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word danger through defining the word knife within the word danger in separation of myself.



Harm:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word harm.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word harm.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word harm through defining the word knife within the word harm in separation of myself.



Suffer:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word suffer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word suffer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word suffer through defining the word knife within the word suffer in separation of myself.



Stab:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word stab.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word stab.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word stab through defining the word knife within the word stab in separation of myself.



Cut:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word cut.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word cut.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word cut through defining the word knife within the word cut in separation of myself.



Chop:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word chop.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word chop.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word chop through defining the word knife within the word chop in separation of myself.



Pain:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word pain through defining the word knife within the word pain in separation of myself.



Skinning:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word skinning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word skinning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word skinning through defining the word knife within the word skinning in separation of myself.



Behead:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word behead.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word behead.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word behead through defining the word knife within the word behead in separation of myself.



Blood:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word blood.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word blood.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word blood through defining the word knife within the word blood in separation of myself.



Murder/Killing:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the words murder/killing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the words murder/killing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the words murder/killing through defining the word knife within the words murder/killing in separation of myself.



Death:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word death through defining the word knife within the word death in separation of myself.



Weapon:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word weapon.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word weapon.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word weapon through defining the word knife within the word weapon in separation of myself.



4.3 Re-define the word in the centre-circle of the word-web:

4.3.1 Dictionary definition:

sharp blade with a handle, used for cutting or as a weapon; cutting blade in a machine or tool

4.3.2 Sounding the word:

The word knife sounds (speaking/hearing) like life. Its structure (writing/spelling) can be seen as composed of two parts: k + nife. I would define the part nife within the word knife as life according to their closeness both in hearing and spelling. The letter K can be defined as Keep or Kill – depending on the one who uses the knife.

New definition:

Knife: blade with a handle, depending on the one using the knife it can be used either to Keep Life or Kill Life – Keeping Life from the perspective that it can be used as a practical functional tool to support life; Killing Life from the perspective that it can be used as a tool to destroy life.



5. The Pictures Work-Sheet



5.1 Drawing/writing out a picture-representation:

The picture does not have any specific background. There are just two persons in it – a Japanese solider with a bayonet on his gun and a bady. The Japanese solider is on the right side while the baby is on the left top corner. The bayonet is in the baby’s body and the Japanese solider is holding up the gun and the bayonet. This motionless picture is the main frame of this scenario. Sometimes it plays out like a movie where the solider throws the baby onto the ground.



5.2 What the picture as a whole represents:

killing, murdering, violence, brutality, cruelty, atrocity, war

5.3 Self-Forgiveness

5.3.1 Self-Forgiveness on connection to the thought:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the picture of the Japanese solider stabbing a bayonet into a baby’s body to the thought that I have to be careful with the knife to not cut myself.

5.3.2 Self-Forgiveness on the picture (use the points you drew/wrote down in 6.1 to describe the picture):

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the picture in which there is a Japanese solider on the right side of the picture with a bayonet on his gun which he is holding up while the bayonet is stabbed into the baby’s body who is at the left top corner of the picture – to exist within and as me.

5.3.3 Self-Forgiveness on what the picture represents:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the words ‘killing, murdering, violence, brutality, cruelty, atrocity, war’ to the picture in my mind of a Japanese solider where the Japanese solider is on the right side of the picture with a bayonet on his gun which he is holding up while the bayonet is stabbed into the baby’s body who is at the left top corner of the picture



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the words ‘killing, murdering, violence, brutality, cruelty, atrocity, war’ within a picture in my mind of a Japanese solider stabbing a bayonet into a baby’s body.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the words ‘killing, murdering, violence, brutality, cruelty, atrocity, war’ through defining these words within a picture in my mind of a Japanese solider stabbing a bayonet into a baby’s body.

5.4 Self-Corrective Statements

I realize and accept that who I am is not a picture within my mind and that it is silly to allow myself to be directed and controlled by such a picture in my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to define myself according to a picture within my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to be directed or controlled by a picture in my mind.



I accept and allow myself to be and live who I am here within as breath of life as awareness – not a picture in my mind.





I accept and allow myself to realize that I am not living words equal and one as who I am when words are defined within pictures in my mind is in separation from me.



I accept and allow myself to live words equal and one as who I am.



I do not accept and allow myself to define words in pictures within my mind in separation of myself.



I accept and allow myself to apply self-forgiveness in assisting and supporting myself to erase definitions of words connected to pictures/images in separation of myself.



When pictures come up into my mind irrelevant to what I am dealing with physically here – I stop and breathe and delete the picture within my mind.



6. The Memories Work-Sheet



6.1 Complete unfolding of memory:

My family was watching a TV program one night some years ago. It was about an event of robbery or stealing where someone got into the house and was found by the host. The host fought with the person using a kitchen knife and chopped towards the person’s head several times and the knife just got bounced back. My father said if he were in that situation he would chop towards the person’s neck. I reacted into fear imagining within my mind this whole scenario if the kitchen knife were chopped at my head or neck.

6.2 Relevant points within the Memory:

One night some years ago (Time)

My family (People)

Watching a TV program about a robbery or stealing (Activity)

The host chopping the kitchen knife towards the person’s head several times and the knife just got bounced back; my father saying if he were in that situation he would chop towards the person’s neck. (Event)

Fear if the kitchen knife were chopped at my head or neck (Experience)

6.3 Reason for holding on to the Memory:

I have defined myself as fear of knives/physical harm according to this memory of discussion on the news about robbery/stealing.

6.4 Self-Forgiveness

6.4.1 Self-Forgiveness on connection to the thought:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the memory of ‘my family watching a TV program about a robbery or stealing one night some years ago, where the host chopped the kitchen knife towards the person’s head several times and the knife just got bounced back while my father said if he were in that situation he would chop towards the person’s neck – I reacted into fear imagining within my mind this whole scenario if the kitchen knife were chopped at my head or neck.’ to the thought ‘I have to be careful with the knife to not cut myself’.

6.4.2 Self-Forgiveness on the memory (use the relevant points of 7.2 to describe the memory):

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto and define myself according to and as the memory of ‘my family watching a TV program about a robbery or stealing one night some years ago, where the host chopped the kitchen knife towards the person’s head several times and the knife just got bounced back while my father said if he were in that situation he would chop towards the person’s neck – I reacted into fear imagining within my mind this whole scenario if the kitchen knife were chopped at my head or neck.’

6.4.3 Self-Forgiveness on reason for holding on to the memory:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined my fear of being physically harmed by knives within the memory of my family’s discussion on the TV program where the description of a kitchen knife being chopped towards a person’s head and neck was imprinted into my mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from fear of being physically harmed by knives through defining it within a memory within my mind, in separation of myself.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away to the fear of being physically harmed by knives through separating myself from/defining myself according to and as the fear defined within the memory in separation of myself.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am equal and one with the fear of being physically harmed by knives which I have created through my mind through defining myself according to this specific memory within my mind – and thus I as the creator is able to take self-responsibility for my creation, stand up within this specific fear and stop it to no longer allow myself to continue to exist as fear of being harmed physically by knives.

6.5 Self-Corrective Statements:

I accept and realize that who I am is not defined by a memory within my mind and that defining myself according to and as a memory within my mind is self-separation and self-enslavement.



I do not accept and allow myself to define myself according to and as a memory within my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to separate and enslave myself through defining myself according to and as a memory within my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to hold onto memories which I have used to define as who I am which is of/as the mind consciousness system.



I accept and allow myself to use/apply self-forgiveness to stop these self-definitions that I have created through memories stored within my mind – slowly but surely.





I accept and realize that the fear of being physically harmed by knives which I have created and defined as who I am within the memory within my mind in separation of myself is not who I really am as the breath of Life Here.



I accept and allow myself to stop the fear of being physically harmed by knives through stopping holding onto that specific memory within my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to continue to exist as the fear of being physically harmed by knives.



I accept and allow myself to live who I really am as the breath of LIFE – not defined by memories within my mind, yet also not separate from ‘memories’.





I accept and realize that within separating myself from the fear of being physically harmed by knives through defining it in a memory within my mind in separation of myself, I have given my power away to the fear and abdicated self-responsibility as the creator of the fear in the first place – instead of realizing that I am equal and one with the fear because I created it and thus I as the creator is able to take self-responsibility for my creation, stand up within this specific fear and stop it to no longer allow myself to continue to exist within and as it.



I do not accept and allow myself to separate myself from fear or abdicate my self-responsibility and my power as the creator through defining fear within a memory in separation of myself – enslaving myself into and as fear through self-separation.



I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility and power as creator – standing equal and one with fear, standing up within it and stopping it to no longer to continue to exist within and as fear.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Self and Self-Expression

The following is a modification and expansion of a blog post I published on my Chinese blog on 2009-7-23.


A quote from desteni: "thus in applying forgiveness in every moment, before acting or speaking, making sure I stand as self awareness as me and correct what is necessary within (which is that which had been the cause through acceptance and allowance by me to manifest what exist within me and my world that is not of who I really am)"

I did not understand self. I formed an idea that self is only within which is defined as a personality while the outer world from my previous understanding is more of a random environment, instead of realizing that by the law of my being the inner reality as me is one and equal with the outer reality as my world as me. So Self exists both within and without - one and equal. Self is the origin - all points all sources of this reality. This is the correction of the misconception that I have formed about self.

The perception of 'something outside self separate from self' is an indication of separation - 'outside self' is not restricted to self's external world - all the points that self has separated self from is OUTSIDE SELF both within and without within the realization that self exists both within and without one and equal. All separation points are represented/contained by/as the mind as thoughts, emotions and feelings. If I have any thoughts, emotions and feelings, I am existing in self-separation. Yet it is not to judge separation but to stand one and equal Here with it and stand up from it and stop/correct self. Thus I correct myself within and live the solution without through/by/as Common Sense as what is best for all in every moment.

Self expression is not about expressing something towards somebody/something. It is shared in Desteni materials that Self-Honesty = Self-Trust = Self-Expression. So my current defintion of Self-expression would be: expression of self as who I am within/as self-trust as self-honesty. The starting point of self has to be self-honesty. Within Self-honesty, I can start to build self-trust. If the starting point is self-dishonesty,then I cannot trust myself because everything that flows from self-dishonesty is a lie. Within self-trust, I can express myself within my living expression the trust of/as who I am in/as self-honesty.

However, how to 'get' from inner awareness to outer expression? Infinite moment between the in breath and the out breath - common sense as taking into consideration what is best for all in the moment.

In every moment as every breath we stand as life, within Common Sense as what is Best for All in every moment to drive the existence into the manifestation that is Best for All.

I realize much of what I have written here is still knowledge and information - not yet a self living expression as who I am. It is a process for me to learn what self-honesty/self-trust/self-expression actually means in practical application.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as something within/as my body separate from everything else in reality.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize my oneness with/as all of existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not even able to perceive that I am one with all of existence because I have defined myself as this limited and separate self from all of existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive this existence to be a collection of separate/impenetrable/conceptualized/abstract/solid entities that are disconnected from each other - and within such an acceptance and allowance of concepts of how and what this reality is, I also created such an idea about myself as an abstract/impenetrable/solid separate self from everything else within existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the mind set of this existence being a collection of separate objects.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the perception/idea/belief that I formed about reality/existence - a collection of separate objects - to be real instead of realizing that it is merely an interpretation that I have projected onto reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the physical as consisting of separate/static/abstract objects.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the physical according to pictures that I see through my human physical eyes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the physical manifestations through defining the physical reality according to/as the pictures that I see through my human physical eyes.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question the pictured reality concept that I have projected onto the physical reality and which I have believed to be what the physical reality actually is.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that 'isolated objects' are able to exist.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to believe that the physical reality consists of isolated objects.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that everything that is Here in/as the physical is the manifestation of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate my inner reality from my outer reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive/believe that what I exprience wiithin my world has nothing to do with what goes on within me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be lost within the concept of this reality being a collection of isolated separate objects.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto this image of myself as some solid/isolated/abstract/separate concept that is separate from everything else in this reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition myself into/as this separate self concept.



I accept and realize that I am not an isolated separate island from this existence/reality. I accept and realize that all and everything that exists within reality is one with who I am.

I accept and allow myself to embrace all and everything in this reality as who I am - the first practical point is for me to stand one and equal with what I accept and allow myself to be and become.

I do not accept and allow myself to hold onto the idea of me being an isolated object that is separate from everything in existence.

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Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/
Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/
Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/
My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum

My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Starting point of creation and Process

I am currently in the process of reorganizing my blogs. I have one Chinese blog(http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe) and one English blog which is this one. There are some articles that I wrote in English previously and placed  in my Chinese blog which I am now moving to this English blog (with possible corrections/modifications). The following is one of those articles (with date indicated).



Starting point of creation and Process

(2009-06-14 06:56:47)

The starting point is very important.

We create/manifest/experience from our starting point. Creation/manifestation/experience is equal and one with the starting point.

The starting point of creation has changed. The previous starting point of creation is of separation. Thus we manifested creation as consciousness manifested as mind consciousness systematic reality within which we experience ourselves as mind consciousness systems--all outflows of our starting point of separation.

Now the starting point of creation has changed to equality and oneness as all as one as equal. The constructs that has ever supported separation has been removed--thus separation is no longer supported--but the new starting point of oneness and equality as all as one as equal is supported!

The Process is about our starting point - transforming our starting point from separation to oneness and equality as life as all as one as equal as the living word as who we really are every here moment as breath within and as self-honesty/self-trust as self walk the princle of equality and oneness manifesting heaven on/as earth.

So I have to be very careful about my starting point - because I manfiest/experience my starting point - I must make sure my starting point is not of separation but of life as all as one as equal as the living word as who I really am.

Within applying self-forgiveness, realise that self-forgiveness is self as self, not applying self-forgiveness from the starting point of separation. Some points of separation in applying self-forgivenss are wanting/desiring to change/lessen a consequence; comparing/competeing with others in the Process etc.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare/compete with other desteni forum members and within this comaprison/competition I perceived myself to be less than/inferior to other forum memebers and want/desire to be one and equal with them, not realising the starting point of such a want/desire is separation.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that comparison/competition is of separation.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that the inferiority that I have experienced is unnecessary and needs to be released.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that by wanting/desiring to be one and equal with others as me, I am actually existing in/as separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others through participation in comparison/competition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form an idea of oneness and equality which is based on separation and attempted to become my idea of oneness and equality with other beings as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that only after I have done something/achieved something/been somebody else can I be one and equal with other beings as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I have achieved oneness and equality with other beings as me after I have done specific applications instead of realising I only succeeded in deceiving myself into my idea of oneness and equality which is not the absolute self-realisation of oneness and equaltiy.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that I am already one and equal with other beings as me and that I only simply need to realise it for/as myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that I do not need to do specific applications in order to become/achieve oneness and equality -I only need to realise oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to manipulate/interprete my experience to appear to be more than who I really am/what I really experienced.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine that others have done something stupid or are not able to do something that I am able to, within this imagination/illusionary scenario, I gained a feeling of being more than/superior while regarding others as less than, and in order to hold onto this feeling of being more than/superior I experienced in my mind illusionary reality I persuaded myself that what I imagined in my mind to be real to justify my experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the inferiority that I have actually experienced by fearing to face/avoiding the inferiority within me, instead I attempted/tried to cover the inferiority with illusionary superiority that I created in my mind illusionary reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the illusionary superiority that I have experienced in my mind illusionary reality, fearing to face the actual experience of me as inferiority which I have accepted and allowed within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to my mind/the illusionary mind reality to escape from what i actually experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the illusion of superiority/strength/intelligence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face what is real/fear to face the true nature that I have accepted and allowed within me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be brave enough to face the true nature of me that I have accepted and allowed within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe myself to be less than what I actually experienced, fearing to face what is real, hiding in illusion, separating myself from what is real here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the true nature that I have accepted and allowed within me, perceiving/believing myself to be incapable/powerless to face the true nature of me, instead I chose to escape from what is real here and live in a mind illusionary reality where I can experience myself to be superior/worthy/valuable/powerful as I wish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dependent on the mind to create a mind illusionary reality for me to experience myself as superior/worthy/valuable/powerful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my mind and the mind illusionary reality, hold onto my mind, and fear losing my mind and my mind illusionary reality where I experience myself to be superior/worthy/valuable/powerful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I experience in my mind is real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so stuck in my mind that I can not discriminate between what is real and what is not real/what I actually experienced and what I did not actually experience but manipulated/interpreted my experience in my mind and believed it to be real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate/tamper with my experience in my mind and believe the experience after manipulation to be real.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be absoultely self-honest about my experience without interpretation and manipulation through my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dependent on my mind to experience myself which is of separation.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that I have been so stuck in my mind illusionary reality that I am not aware when I manipulate/interprete my experience.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that I have been so sophisticated in manipulating/interpretation my experience that without absolute self-honesty I do not recoginse/see/realise the manipulation/interpretation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify why I should continue existing in/as defining myself as my mind/mind illusionary reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my mind, fear losing my mind illusionary reality where I experience/perceive/define myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in deliberate self-dishonesty, using justifications/excuses to continue existing in/as my mind.

Till here no further.

I stop existing in/as my mind depending on my mind to perceive/experience myself in an illusionary reality.

I stop defining mysself as my mind.

I stand one and equal as life as all as one as equal.

I assist and support myself to be effective in applying myself within/as the principle of equality and oneness as life within/as self-honesty/self-trust/self-expression.

I direct. I will. I move. I act. I apply. I express. I live.

I live/walk the principle of equality and oneness as life.

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Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/


Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/
Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/
 
My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum
 
My Chinese Blog:  http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe