Saturday, October 30, 2010

Time Managment of my Day

Time Managment of my Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B_HeG6jMS4

Tags: time management, effective, consistent, application, commitment, schedule, points, many points, contradiction, physical, movement, excercise, judgment, resistance, morality, good, bad, direction, orientation, stagnant, stiff, balance, equally, attention, ignore, important

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist time management - to organize my day to assist and support myself to become an effective participant because of the idea that i am not able to due to my perception of time management as something professional and that since i have never got trained with some professional knowledge about time management i assumed myself to not be able to do it effectively.

I have this memory in my mind: when i was extremely ineffective in my everyday participation sometime ago, i saw some time management conferences held on the campus yet i was not able to attend them due to time conflicts. And i perceived that without attending those conferences, i would not be able to get out of the extreme ineffectiveness that i experienced at that time. I placed myself into such a situation where i did not have access to assitance and support and feel helpless and powerless.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that assistance and support is out there far away from me that i am not able to access instead of realizing that i have separated myself from assistance and support as myself -- self-assistance and self-support is here as me.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to assist and support myself effectively which has manifested my experience of not having access to assistance and support in my world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that since i did not attend those time-management conferences then i can not be effective with time-management instead of simply testing out how i am able to arrange and organize my day so that i can be effective.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive time-management to be something very difficult and sophisticated which i am not able to comprehend effectively.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel less than time-management out of self-distrust and fear. I stop placing myself less than a word. I stand equal to time-management to assist and support myself to be effective.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed by so many points that i deal with everyday, being directed by my world which indicates that i am not standing equal to my world and direct myself as my world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my world and give my power away to all that i have accepted and allowed yet which i have abdicated responsibility for.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate self-responsibility towards myself as my world as all that i created through my acceptance and allowance instead of taking self-responsibility, standing equal and one with myself and my world as myself as all my creations to sort myself out with self-directive-power.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate the self-directive-principle within this abdicated my responsibility and my power -- power goes hand in hand with responsibility.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge physical excercises like running as bad due to my interpretation of Desteni perspective on sports.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form this idea that people who participate in physical activities/excercises are only supporting their mind consciousness systems and within this i prevented myself from participating in physical activities.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to interpret Desteni materials and form moral judgments of good/bad right/wrong which supports the polarity that feeds my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have manifested myself as stagnation and physical stiffness - yet at the same time not allowing myself to participate in physical activities to assist and support myself to break such patterns.

I stop such interpretations/perceptions/ideas/beliefs about physical activities but to take on this point of committing myself to run every morning to assist and support myself from the starting point of self-movement and consistent self-application.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form this idea that my participation in Desteni and my everday life is contradictory instead of actually physically live/apply what i learn from Desteni materials to test out for myself what is being shared.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate understanding/words with practical application.

I assist and support myself to live/apply/implement/test out what i learn from Desteni and from other beings - live words equal and one as who i am.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Name

Self-forgiveness on my name

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare my name with other being's names and feel that i am special because i perceive myself to have a better name, instead of assisting and supporting myself to live my name as 'No Fear' and 'the Way of LIFE' from the starting point of self-honesty rather than from the starting point of feelings, comparisons and competitions.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of myself because i did not live my name, instead i have allowed myself to be controled/enslaved by fear and did not live as the Way of LIFE as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that i don't deserve my name as 'No Fear' and 'the Way of LIFE' because i do not see myself as equal to my name, which indicates the extent of self-dishonesty i have accepted and allowed - separation from words as who i am.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my name, feeling less than my name and regarding my name to be more than me, instead of standing equal and one with and as my name in practical physical application of living words as 'No Fear' and 'the Way of LIFE' as who i really am.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have disregarded the support from my name because i have perceived that my name is a total fucked-up system design and that if i live my name i will be controlled and fucked by the system.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be controlled and fucked by my name and by the system, instead of realizing that i was not even standing equal to my name as 'No Fear' and 'the Way of LIFE'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in separation of my name - merely existing in knowledge/understanding without actual physical consistent self-application to live words as who i am.

My experience with my name is an exact reflection of what i am experiencing in my process - knowledge without consistent practical application - although i am starting to learn the practical application 'part' which is my weakness throughout my life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself tofeel that my name is so wonderful/beautiful as the positive emotional charge within separation from words as my name, believing that since i have such a wonderful name then i am already living my name automatically instead of living words step by step/breath by breath to substantiate myself as words.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define the Way of LIFE as some wonderful experience out there instead of realizing that it is self-delusion - the Way of LIFE as Self-Honesty is not some beautiful/wonderful/profound energetic experience as imagination and expectation in my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project the WAY of LIFE out there, clearly indicating that i was not living the Way of LIFE HERE as myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be special which is in direct contradiction with the Way of LIFE as Equality, which indicates how i am living in separation from my words.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind my name - meaning not living my name as self-assistance and self-support but living in contradiction with my name and believe that i am living my name.

Let me have a closer look at the system design of my Chinese name '吴畏' (meaning 'No Fear') with regards to what i can relate to my life. My last name '吴' (having the same pronunciation as '无' which means 'no/nothing') consists of two parts -- '口' (meaning 'mouth') and '天' (meaning 'sky'). I have heard my father interpreting this word literally as 'trying to swallow the sky in one mouth' - the more relavant explanation that i can relate to my process is 'aiming to solve everything in one moment'. Interestingly enough, now i remember that in the beginning when i got involved with Desteni, i formed this idea that i have realized myself as who i really am as LIFE and that i have transceded everything in one moment, and the idea that i do not have to deal with all my past that i have already created because apparently i have realized myself. Also it relates to my tendency of rush and jump to take the greatest scale of existence (the whole existence) before i actually take responsibility for what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become on the personal scale and my direct environment.

My first name '畏' (meanig 'fear') also consists of two parts -- '田'(meaning farmland) and the lower part which is not an independent character but i can relate it to the lower part of '衣' (meaning 'cloth') . This way of understanding these words may not agree with the origin of them but is what i can directly relate to. So for my first name '畏' i have three points that i can relate to this word - 'fear, farmland and cloth'. The point of 'fear' which is how i am currently experiencing myself to exist as where i hold myself back out of fear, not allowing myself to live and express fully who i am. As for 'farmland and cloth' i can relate it to the point of practical living - which is something that i rarely considered/lived through my life - i point that i am 'missing'. My life was mainly focused on my pursuit of 'the nature of the world and the meaning of Life' through science within my participation in the education system. I was almost completely taken care of before i went into college so i did not need to consider the point of practical living but only focus on study in the education system. Even in my undergraduate study at the college in China, i was still financially dependent on my parents and were taken care of to a large extent. So I did not develop effectively my skill of practical common sensical living and my communication skill - they are not a major part of my life. Two years ago i came to US to study with financial support from the university with the requirement of me working as a teaching assistnat or a research assistant (so i am financially independent from my parents), i faced these points of practically taking care of myself and communication with people, which i found myself to be very ineffective - i am still facing these points currently.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am able to transended everything in one moment and then it is done instead of realizing that it is a PROCESS to deprogram what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and birth myself as LIFE and that it is not going to happen overnight.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to handle everything at the same time and feel frustrated when i was not able to do it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist in this perception that i am self-dishonest if i am not handling everything at the same time because there are many points that i see require self-forgiveness yet i can not handle all of them at the same time.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive self-forgiveness to be a burden because the more i apply self-forgiveness the more self-forgiveness i am going to do and within this creating resistance towards applying self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed with all that i am facing and dealing with and feel that i can not handle - existing in powerlessness, helplessness, suffocation and desperation.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that i am a slave within writing self-forgiveness because there seem to be no end of it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to expect an ending signal of what i am doing and that if there is no such a signal i will do it forever within which i really feel stressed and desperate.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to set up an impossible goal and force myself to achieve it and feel defeated if i did not achieve what i set up for.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that i have completely fucked up because i did not achieve what i intended to do.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have destroyed my self-trust through such experiences of not being able to live what i planned to do.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define self-trust as being able to achieve whatever goal i set up for, instead of realizing that self-trust is here in every moment as who i am.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to retract myself within facing the 'impossible' mountain.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to rush ahead.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to slow down and apply/live slowing down.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that i am such a fuck-up and loser because i did not complete what i intended to.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into self-defeat and feel that i have fucked up eternally.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to listen to the bullshits within my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the voices in my mind and give permission for my mind to mislead me. Fuck the misleading thoughts.
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word fuck and fear to say the word fuck.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that if i say fuck something then i am spiteful.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have this picture of throwing a child onto the ground and trample it with violence - this picture as a habitual picture right now being triggered by the words fuck and spiteful.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear such a picture when it came up into my mind and I immediately suppressed it and wanted to escape from it.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that the picture is reflection as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as spitefulness.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for child abuse to exist within me and exist within this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to close my eyes within facing the atrocities in this world so that i can continue to pretend that i am blind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have this voice going within my mind 'I have a right to do so. I have been traumatized by watching the atrocities in this world'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become an abuser through giving permission for the continuation of my deliberate ignorance with what i have accepted and allowed as the atrocitiest that exist within me and this world as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to play out within my mind the pictures of atrocities i have given permission to be done onto children - which is done onto myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if i do not accept and allow emotional reactions within seeing the atrocities in this world then they are acceptable - instead of realizing that emotional reactions are not real and are actually fueling the very atrocities that exist in this world through my participation in my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to determine what is acceptable and what is not acceptable based on emotional reactions instead of realizing that the only valid measure of what is acceptable and what is not acceptable is based on the principle of what is best for all -- principled living instead of experienced living.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form this perception/idea/belief that 'having no reactions towards the atrocities in this world' is to watch the atrocities to continue and being OK with it without doing anything to stop the atrocities within me and within this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined compassion as a feeling and thus do not allow myself to have any compassion - within this i have destroyed myself and turned myself into a self-fish cruel fucking asshole.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not able to have compassion because i have destroyed myself as compassion completely.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that i have already been dead as a dornail within me and that i do not have compassion or care and that i do not have the ability to have compassion or care.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have trapped myself into the interpretation/perception/idea/belief that desteni does not allow compassion or care because they are of feelings. I know i fucked myself up.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with the words in desteni video 'it is OK to care for someone' because i feel that it is insulting to have someone else tell me that it is OK to care.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i have done what Desteni has told me to do - to not care, and then being told to care - i feel that i have been fooled.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have turned Desteni into a religion instead of trusting myself to do common sensical evaluation.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that i have trapped myself by my own assumption/interpretation/perception/idea/belief and thus i am responsible.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to scream within my mind 'I am not responsible!'. I stop whining. I stop blaming. I stop manipulating.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist in self-sabotage, wanting to destroy myself because i perceive that i have already destroyed myself completely.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful towards other beings with the intention of them falling/fucking up which is actually spitefulness towards myself -- self-spitefulness.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be completely honest with me for what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become - giving permission for fear to control me instead of me directing myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be completely honest to myself to see the complete construct as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have formed this habitual reactive thought pattern of spitefulness which reflects the spitefulness towards myself and the self-sabotage that i have experienced.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear other people judge me if i dare to speak out the thought that i participated within my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to protect the thought within my mind through defining myself according to the thought which i judge and suppress and want to protect from being known by other people.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to expose the thought within my mind that i participated towards other beings - instead of realizing that i was protecting my secret mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have participated in the thought of wanting to see Kasper fall, when i perceive that i have already fucked up/destroyed myself and seeing him progressing and getting jealous.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of 'deserved' when i see beings existing in sufferings - and then immediately go into self-judgment and self-suppression for having such a thought within me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to suppress thoughts instead of facing them and work with them to see what i have accepted and allowed myself to be - so that i can stop the continuation of such self-definitions.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having such thoughts within me and believe that if i let other people know such thoughts existing within my mind i will be judged instead of realizing that it is self-judgment and that self-judgment is self-dishonesty because it contributes to suppression and locks me up into my self-definition as my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to reveal how fucked i am.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to preserve a presentation of me being that is apparently more than who i actually am.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i must first clean up the area and make sure that other people do not judge me so that i can be frank with revealing what i have accepted and allowed myself to be instead of being immediate with exposing myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react to the words of exposing myself immediately, my mind feeling threatened.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe fear to be real instead of realizing that fear what my mind uses to keep me enslaved - if i give into fear i am only giving permission for self-enslavement.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use self-sabotage as a means of revenge.

I know I fucked myself up. Now i pick myself up.----------I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear and define myself as fear which is in direct contradiction with my name 'No Fear' - instead of using my name as self-assistance and self-support to no longer live in fear.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold me back and exist in self-limitation out of fear instead of seeing the siliness of this.

How the fuck have i totally invalidated my name of 'No Fear' and have got lost in fear?

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of myself for not living my name as 'No Fear'. I stop the shame. And live my name in the living application.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that fear sucks and that it sucks even more when i give into fear.

Whenever i go into fear, i breathe, stop, remind me of my name 'No Fear', realize that fear is not real, and push through fear to see who i really am.------I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not being to take care of myself practically with effectiveness.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to learn to take care of myself effectively but always trying to seek an easy way out instead of expanding myself within self-assistance and self-support.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto this self-definition that i can not be effective with taking care of myself within practical living

I forgive myself that i have accetped and allowed myself to blame my parents for not giving me opportunity to develop my practical living skill and communication skill.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto my self-definition instead of breaking the limitation of self-definition and expand myself and recreate myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify within my mind saying 'I can not. it is a choice' this kind of bullshit.

I am able to assist and support me to break self-limitations. I stop justification of self-limitation.

Friday, October 8, 2010

SF on inner voice possession

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by the thought 'there is nothing you can do about it' and believe it to be real because it is said by Bernard in a video.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take Bernard's words as like reading a bible and that those words must apply to anything in this world without any context.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined Bernard as my God, separating myself from myself Here as Breath in the physical.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to trust Bernard but does not trust myself because i have defined myself to be so inferior and that Bernard is so superior and that i am not able to trust myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that i may get lost in my mind as the words/voices running constantly and continuously.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have believed the voices in my mind to be real and believe them to be me and allow them to direct me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for such perceptions/ideas/beliefs about Bernard to direct me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is impossible for me to stand equal with Bernard and that i must accept myself as being the inferior and that i believed that is also what Bernard wanted.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the self-definition as inferiority and justify my own acceptance and allowance and project it onto Bernard, and believe it to be real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself as the energetic-systematic entity that i have created within my mind about Bernard and have allowed myself to be directed by it because i have believed it to be real and have allowed it to possess me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for the existence of an entity existing within my mind which i have created through participating in it and believing it real.

I forgive myself that i have believed the entity to be my God -- the mind consciousness system becoming my God, existing in fear of the God entity within my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that Bernard requires me to feel inferior to him and i accpeted such as real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have lived out my self-definition as infeiority and believed it to be real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i do not deserve to be equal to other beings in this world because i am aparently so inferior and unworthy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear of God which i have projected onto Bernard and the entity thus created in my mind as the representation of my fear as the God, which is actually the fear of myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that although Bernard says that all are equal as one yet 'somehow' i am still not allowed to be equal to him as myself, which is but a perception/idea/belief/construct that i have believed to be real and have lived accordingly.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to turn Bernard's words into a religion where i believe that it must hold anywhere to anything in this world for example 'there is nothing you can do about it' must hold absolutely true and thus live it as if it is real.

I forgive myself that i have accetped and allowed myself to give permission for religion to influence me and have believed myself to become religious.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have turned Desteni into a religion based on my own acceptance and allowance.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have formed a perception/idea/belief about Desteni and Bernard, and believe it to be real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself as this that which i have believed to be real as the perceptions/ideas/beliefs that i have formed about Desteni and Bernard - turning them into a religion and me being the follower.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with Desteni and Bernard and blame Desteni and Bernard, existing in spitefulness and resentment - instead of taking self-responsibility for what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the belief constructs that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and hold onto this self-definition, existing in self-interest and not considering what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have abdicated the principle of what is best for all -- which is abdicating myself as who i really am.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use Bernard's words to support my own self-definition and self-limitation, to believe that 'there is nothing you can do about it'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have lived the mind-interpretation based on assumptions, perceptions, ideas, beliefs into the physical level, where it has become physically manifested.

I forgive myself that i have accetepd and allowed myself to exist as self-defeat and justify the self-defeat through believing that 'there is nothing you can do about it'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to defined myself as the little voice in my head, and have believed them to be real as me, allowing myself to be trapped and directed, enslaved and controled.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that there is nothing i can do to stop the voices in my mind -- instead of realizing that i am giving permission for mind possession to go further and deeper.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have given permission for the mind possession to take me over completely and believe that 'there is nothing you can do about it'.

Istop! I do not accept myself to be directed by thoughts/voices in my head! I do not trust thougths in my head! I do not allow myself to give my power away to the thoughts/voices in my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have given permission for the mind possession to develop into the second phase right now with regards to this thought where the thougt appears as the voice 'there is nothing you can do about it' to constantly and continuously to run in my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to trust vocies in my mind instead of realizing that they are not real but i have made myself to believe that they are real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self-trust - trusting my mind instead of trusting myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to follow the mind chattering within my mind, believing them to be me instead of realizing that they are not real and that if i believe them to be real i will be trapped and lost in my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for 'there is nothing you can do about it' to infiltrate all over the place - to insert it into anywhere where i perceive it to be able to fit in.

I forgive mself that i havea ccepted and allowed myself to feel sleepy and lethargic and want to divert my attention from the point that i am working with.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in pictures/images/movies witin the cinema of my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to close my eyes and participate in fantasies so that i do not have to work with the point that i am working with.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that there is nothing i can do about it because Bernard has ever said it then I believed that it automatically becomes true.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to go into my mind dimension to hide and divert myself from working through this point to deconstruct the mind definition that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and define as and believed to be real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for my mind to direct me instead of me directing myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to veer into my mind again. I stop. I direct.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate the self-directive principle as myself Here through believing that there is nothing i can do about it - thus allowing self-abuse, self-defeat and self-sabotage.


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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for the word 'irrelevant' to direct me - labling things as relevant or irrelevant without actually understanding what i am acutally saying but it has become merely a reative behavior.

I forgive myself that ihave accepted and allowed myself to give permission for such constant and continuous thought/voice manifestation to continue to exist within me instead of realizing that i am allowing my mind to possess me through my participation and permission.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have believed myself to be the voices in my mind, giving my power away to them instead of realizing that i am giving permission for enslavement and control of my mind through my own acceptance.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that i can not stop the voices in my mind and have believed this to be real and have lived it out as myself as thus having become this definition which i have believed to be who i am - but it is not in fact.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have been lost in my mind in the voices in my mind and have given permission for my mind to take me over completely to manfiest consequences in my reality.

I forgive myself that ihave accepted and allowed myself to not be able to distinguish between me and my mind as the thoughts/voices/emotions/feelings as the programs that run within me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have identified myself as my mind as thoughts/emotions/feelings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to interprete 'standing equal and one with my mind' as 'believing myself to be my mind'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have lived my self-definition as assumptions.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form assumptions about something before i actually do my homework and research and investigate what it really is.

SF on the God entity i created in my mind

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form assumptions, perceptions, ideas, beliefs about Desteni and have allowed myself to be directed by them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form assumptions, perceptions, ideas, beliefs about Bernard and have allowed myself to be directed by them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create an entity within my mind about Bernard based on assumptions, perceptions, ideas, beliefs, constructs, images, pictures, imaginations, fantacies, and have given my power away to an entity in my mind through talking to it and reacting to it through my participation, which i have believed to be real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the mind chatterings with the entities that i have created within my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger to the entity which i have believed to be Bernard.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be unwilling to face this point and say in my mind i do not want to know why i got angry and want to divert my attention from this point instead of assisting and supporting myself to see this point which i have given permission to direct me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get extremely angry to the entity in my mind which i have believed to be Bernard in that moment, and wanted to spite it and revenge it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participte in my mind the picture of spiting the children with the intention to blackmail the entity in my mind that i have created, instead of realizing that i am only spiting myself and that i have become the spitefulness that i have accepted.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have created a God entity in my mind which i placed a name of Bernard and believed it to be Bernard and talked to it, believing that i am talking to Bernard.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in reaction as anger towards the entity in my mind, and wanted to spite it - feeding in this way my accepted self-definition as energy addiction as the emotional reaction as anger.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get addicted to the emotional reaction as anger and want to find ways to justify it through attaching more and more reactions to it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define anger as being powerful, believeing that i have become powerful within getting angry instead of realizing that i have given my power away to a program and thus having abused myself through such acceptance.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belive that i am strong within the experience of anger.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become aggresive within anger and have placed value and worth in agression which i have attached an idea of power.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel myself to be weak and desire to be strong - within this desire i have placed the definition of 'strong' onto my experience of anger where i become aggressive.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to spite the children to spite the entity in my mind and a form of 'questioning' God yet not understanding that it is all a form of mind delusion -- the reaction towards the entity is not valid in the first place, let alone the spitefulness towards the children -- all a mind drama yet the acceptance revealed my accepted nature.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in this mind delusion of anger, agression, spitefulness, and abuse.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to divert my attention from here and face this point instead of realizing that it is from my mind wanting to hide and protect its own definition.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for my mind to divert my attention from this point that i am dealing with.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel sleepy and lethargic and give permission for such experiences to direct me. I stop. I direct myself. I am not allowing lethargy and sleepiness to direct me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself through creating entities that are apperently alive - but only alive in my mind which i have given permission to enslave me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for energy addiction to direct me. Stop. I do not accept it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place my reaction towards Desteni over Life as what is best for all - existing in self-interest and justifying my self-definition.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to believe that i have the right to get angry - finding excuses why i participate in the energy addiction as the emotional reactions as anger that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to spite the children which is spitefulness towards myself - allowing myself to be possessed by anger and giving permission for abuses and atrocities to exist within me which also contributes to the abuses and atrocities in this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist as abuses and atrocities to perpetuate my self-definition which is protection of my self-interest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sacrifice other people to feed my self-interest - in this case sacrificing the children to apparently blackmail the God entity in my mind -- this is my accepted nature.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the drama in my mind and belived them to be real. How delusional can i be?

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify that i have a right to be spiteful because i was angry and that i can not control it -- instead of realizing that it is invalid to blame my anger for what i have done in the name of it - I am responsible for what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, I became anger as me the moment i give permission for it to possess me and direct me and thus i am responsible for the spitefulness that i have accepted and allowed within anger possession.

I forgive myself that i have acccepted and allowed myself to define myself as anger, participating in it, allowing it to possess me and direct me, instead of standing as the self-directive priniciple here directing myself within self-honesty.