Note: the following is based on an article I published on my Chinese blog on October 12, 2009 where I discussed a situation which I also experiened just today.
I was doing my homework tonight while my mother called me. I felt disturbed and went into reaction. The first time the call did not get through and i did not know who was calling. The second time, it came through. I picked it up and heard my mother's voice. I experienced immense resistance and reluctance, and anger started to accumulate within me immediately because i felt disturbed by this call and that i had no time for this call at all. My mother's first question was "Why did not it get through?" With anger, i said "How would i know?"-- words full of reluctance/resistance/anger. Then my mother said she wanted to talk to me and wanted to see me. I was more angry inside but i suppressed it with words "I had no time!" Then my mother connected QQ requiring a video talk. I picked it up with reluctance/resistance/anger. I really did not want to get into any talk at that time. When the camera was connected, i did not watch my mother at all and went on with what i was doing. In a while my mother asked "Are your hairs falling off?" The irritation and anger burst out "I am doing homework！If you do not have anything important to day, we'd better stop it!" So the talk did not last for even a minute. After the talk, I could not focus on what i was doing and i blamed my mother and even cursed her for what i experienced within me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react to my mother with irritation/resistance/reluctance/anger because I feel that I have been disturbed.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate anger within me at that moment, instead of breathing through and stopping the anger within me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as irritations/resistance/reluctance/anger and fuel them.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for what i experienced within me instead of realizing that it has nothing to do with my mother at all -- it is all about what was going on within me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to direct anger to my mother, judging her, blaming her, cursing her - instead of realizing that the anger I experienced is not about my mother - it is about me being angry with myself - and this situation is just showing me that there exists anger within me because I am dishonest with myself.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that there is only one type of anger that exists as one point of being angry at yourself, and that is when I've not been honest with myself and that I have fucked myself, I've become angry at yourself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress anger, instead of investigating why I am experiencing anger and sort it out so that I no longer go into such an experience over and over again.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I suppress that anger, that anger will resonate, manifest and be experienced in different ways within my world - to reflect to me that there exists anger within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be anger with myself because I am dishonest to myself - because I am not honouring who i really am - because i am deliberatly against who i really am.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to deliberately fuck myself through being deliberately against myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be diliberately against myself as a way to blame and punish others.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that by being deliberately against who I really am - I am only fucking myself, I am destroying myself, I am dishonouring myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed being deliberately against who I really am as LIFE to become my accepted nature.
I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest myself as the representation of being deliberately against LIFE.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful to LIFE instead of realizing that I am actually being spiteful to myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in self-spitefulness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from LIFE through being spiteful to LIFE.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be anger with myself because I know I am spiteful to LIFE and that I am dishonouring LIFE.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize the manifestation of an event to show me that anger exists within me is through the accumulation of self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that anger is the outflow of me not being honest with me in my starting point in every moment, which culminates to anger.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest within my starting point - delaying what I know I should deal with because I just did not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately postpone and resist that which I know I should give direction to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny dealing with those emails that I know I should deal with.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate undealt-with emails.
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately push away/shut away information about Desteni and withdraw myself from participating actively.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed undealt with issues to accumulate into the manifestation of anger within me and within my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be anger with myself because I know I should give direction to situations in my world but I just did not do it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate self-direction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself because I have abdicated self-direction.
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the desire to revenge Desteni because i believe that Desteni is the reason why I am experiencing the fuck up I am experiencing - instead of realizing that I am responsible for my experience that I have created and manifested even when I have 'forgotten' how I actually created and manifested such an experience.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the belief that Desteni is the reason why I am experiencing the fuck up that I am experiencing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto that belief so that i can continue to blame instead of taking responsibility for myself - stand up and direct myself and correct that which I have created and manifested.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the belief that the reason why I am experiencing the fuck up I am experiencing is because I participated in this process - because I believed that all my problems came after I got involved with Desteni.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the strong belief within my mind which I have believed to be real - that Desteni is responsible for my experience of being fucked up.
I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to want to revenge Desteni.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to revenge Desteni.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to destroy myself so that I can prove Desteni wrong as a form of revenge.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful to Desteni as a form of revenge.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately fuck myself up so that I can continue to blame Desteni.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed revenging Desteni to become my accpeted nature because I have been obsessed and possessed with the belief that Desteni is responsible for my experience of being fucked up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obsessed and possessed by the desire to revenge Desteni.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be consumed by the desire to revenge Desteni.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck myself deliberately so that I can prove that it is all Desteni's fault.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beliberately destroy myself as a means to revenge Desteni.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by the anger system Demon - because I have accpeted and allowed myself to be consumed by and become the manifestation of anger.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck myself up through jumping into conclusions based on the part of Desteni materials that I have read.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself because I fucked myself up through jumping into conclusions in reading Desteni materials.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame Desteni materials to mislead me instead of realizing that I accepted and allowed myself to jump into conclusions in reading Desteni materials - thus I am responsible for those assumptions/interpretations/perceptions/ideas/beliefs that I have created within myself which I have believed to be what Desteni is proposing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not responsible for the conclusions/assumptions/interpretations that I made within reading Desteni materials because those would be the only conclusions that I could draw from those materials based on my understanding at that moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the grudge against Desteni materials.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unwilling to take responsibility for the conclusions/assumptions/interpretations that I have made within reading Desteni materials.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see within common sense that the best way is to immediately correct myself instead of holding onto the grduge.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to convince myself that I am not responsible for those conclusions/assumptions/interpretations that I have made about Desteni materials - so that I do not have to take self-responsibility for what I have created and manifested.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that holding onto grudge against Desteni materials is not going to do me or anybody any good - but to continue fuck myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to fuck myself through holding onto the belief that Desteni materials have misled me and that it is all Desteni's fault that I have fucked myself.
I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to attempt to convice myself that it is real/true that I have been misled by Desteni materials.
I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to believe it to be real/true that i have been misled by Desteni materials - because I have persuaded myself to believe it.
I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to believe something to be real jsut because I have told myself so many times that it is real.
I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to want to believe that I have been misled by Desteni materials and that Desteni is responsible for my experience of being fucked - so that I do not have to stand up and take responsibility for the fuck-up that I have created and manifested as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed to continue to screw myself up so that I can continue to blame Desteni for my fuck-up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to prove that it is because of my participation in Desteni that I have fucked myself up - even through deliberately fucking myself up in my process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that if I fuck myself up in my process then that proves my belief that my participation in Desteni is the reason why I fucked myself up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that my fucking up is able to prove that Desteni is responsible for my fucking up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite myself in order to spite Desteni.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful to myself - instead of realizing that I am merely harming myself.
I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to abuse myself as a way to revenge Desteni.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by abusing/tortuing/fucking myself I am actually revenging Desteni.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in self-abuse and self-torture deliberately as a means of spitefulness to Desteni which is actually self-spitefulness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the delusion that I have been misled by Desteni materials and that is why I fucked myself up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be consumed by delusions within my mind which I have believed to be so real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become delusional.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be able to distinguish reality from delusions clearly - because I have become delusional.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by delusions instead of living here in and as the physical reality as the breath of life here in every moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obsessed by delusions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose contact with reality through being obsessed with delusions within my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obsessed with delusions within my mind which I have firmly believed to be real.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as having a bad temper as my father.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as having a bad temper -- being very easy to get irritated and angry.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as irritation and anger.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my temper believing that the bad temper is who i am instead of realizing that it is a program within me that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe to be who i am.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that since my father has a bad temper then it is normal/ordinary/natural for me to have the same bad temper.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the shit of bad temper instead of realizing that the temper is a program that i have inherited from my parents or from my environment that i have defined as who i am.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled/manipulated/directed by emotions within me which i perceived to be originating from my bad temper.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to the mind consciousness system within me through participating in emotions and feelings within my mind.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to be present in the moment the anger started to take control over me and stop it immediately.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out the shit system that i inherited from my father.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to copy reactions and behaviors from my father and define myself as such reactive behaviors.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my father for why i have such a bad temper and that if i had a different father i would not need to deal with this and experience such reactive behaviors.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my father for my experience instead of realizing that i am responsible for what i was experiencing within me and that by blaming others i was abidicating self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what i was experiencing within me instead of realizing that it is through my permission and participation that the systems within me manifest.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to vent my anger on somebody when i experience anger within me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react to any beings within my world just to find excuses to vent my anger.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react to my mother's words just to find excuses to vent my anger and frustration.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel released when i have vent my anger on somebody else.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be deceived by the apparent releas of anger when i direct it onto beings in my world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that if i do not vent my anger on somebody i will explode.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel good after i have vent my anger.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as anger, being consumed by anger.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that when i was participating in anger and venting my anger onto other beings i was actually allowing myself to be a slave to the systems within me which i have defined as who i am.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the anger system within me, and live out my self-definition as the anger system.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the reactive habitual behavior when i experienced anger within me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into anger.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel good when i curse somebody just to vent my anger.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to suppress anger when i experienced them within me, instead of realizing that suppressing anger is resisting anger and that what i resist persists, thus the anger will finally come out.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as suppression of anger, perceiving that i suppress it it will disappear.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as suppression of anger.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to copy my father's behavior of beating somebody/something to vent my anger.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by anger, becoming the power source of the system within me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself by participating in anger and charging the system within me without realizing what i was actually supporting.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad that i have done something out of the control of impulsion of anger.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to regard anger to be more than me, perceive that i have no power over anger, and that i can not direct anger one and equal.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from anger, instead of standing one and equal with anger, realizing that anger is a program within me and that it is not who ireally am thus simply stop it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to follow anger which is following programs and systems within me which i have accepted and allowed myself to define as who iam.
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Check out the following websites:
Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/
Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/
Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/
My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum
My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe
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