Idea of Self-honesty and Self-dishonesty

Note: The following self-forgiveness is an expansion of those that I published on my Chinese blog on October 03, 2009.


What i have realized is that self-honesty can be designed and developed into an ideas as the polar opposite of the idea of self-dishonesty.








I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form an idea of self-honesty, designing self-idea into an idea which is not lived but merely exist as knowledge and information.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to design self-honesty into the polar opposite of the idea of self-dishonesty.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as an idea of self-honesty which I have created within my mind, perceiving/believing myself to be self-honest while not actually applying/living self-honesty.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i have already become self-honest and that i am self-honest while it is but a perception/idea/belief within my mind and not the actuality of living application.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the idea of self-honesty which I have created within my mind to protect and hide the actual truth of me as the self-dishonesty that I have accepted and allowed.







I forgive myself that i have accetped and allowed myself to perceive/believe that i am self-honest and there is not much self-dishonesty within me so that i do not need to be diligent within deprogramming myself and releasing myself from the definition of my mind consciousness system.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that i am self-honest and that all the people around me in my world are all but fucked-up mind consciousness systems living in hypnosis.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel special/superior because i am participating in the process with awareness.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself to be more than people around me because aparently i believe myself to be self-honest while all the people around me are all self-dishonest fuck-ups.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that i am the only one that is sober while all others are in hynosis.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have known THE truth and that I am fucking enlightened.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that i have the right to judge "the fucked-up mind consciousness systems" around me.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in judgment of people in their own processes.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obsessed with the idea that people around me are all fucked-up systems instead of realizing I am actually seeing how fucked I am because I did not even see that but existing in a delusion about myself.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I must withdraw myself from participation and interaction with all the people within my world because apparently they are all self-dishonest fucked-up systems.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in the polar opposite of the ideas that I have projected onto people within my world as self-dishonest fucked-up systems while me existing in the idea of me being self-honest.







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the idea that I have projected onto other people is actually a reflection about myself.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in comparison and competition with people around me and create an idea about myself as being more than while regarding people around me as being less than.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel miserable that i am alone with the realization that we are fucked-up mind consciousness systems and that i have to live in the system full of fucked-up systems.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge/deny/resist the system - instead of taking self-responsibility and make a difference in this world through assisting and supporting myself to change myself and live the change in my world as an example.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to claim that "I am self-honest. You are all self-dishonest. You are all fucked-up."







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought 'you are all fucked-up' to be real and to be me speaking instead of realizing that it is a thought.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by a thought within my mind.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by a belief that I have constructed within my mind which I have believed to be real.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to communicate/interact with other people because i fear that i may be contaminated/influenced by their "fucked-up systems".







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that nobody/nothing can actually influence me unless I give it permission.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being contaminated/influenced by fucked up systems to fear - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect communicating/interacting with other people to fear - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that by holding myself back from communicating/interacting with other people in my world - I am actually preventing myself from facing myself.







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that facing myself is here in every moment - not having to hold myself back so that I can focus on myself or going out there so that I can apparently face myself - no, facing self is here in every moment of every breath - no matter where I am and with whom I am.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as fucked-up systems within this defining myself as the polar opposite idea of self-honesty and perceive/believe that i need to seclude myself from communicating/interacting with the system and other people in order to prevent me from being influenced/contaminated - which is actually protecting the idea I have created about myself as apparently being self-honest.







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am actually protecting the idea I have created about as being apparently self-honest while actually hiding the actual truth of me as being self-dishonest through preventing me from interacting with people in my world out of fear.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by fear instead of being Here directing myself.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word self-honesty to the word self-dishonesty.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to define the word self-honesty in polarity to the word self-dishonesty.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word self-honesty and self-dishonesty through defining the word self-honesty in polarity to the word self-dishonesty in separation of myself.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist in judgement/denial/resistance toward self-dishonesty/system - instead of realizing the judgment is actually the act of fear.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge/deny/resist what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a mind consciousness system.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed fear myself as a system of self-dishonesty.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect myself as a system of self-dishonesty to fear - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.







i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that i may be discovered to be self-dishonest because i feared to be judged instead of realizing that self-judgement is actually protecting the self-dishonesty within me.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to connect me being discovered to be self-dishonest to fear - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to present myself as the polar opposite of self-dishonesty and live out my self-definition as an idea of self-honesty formed, developed and created through/with/as my mind.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i need to present myself to be self-honest instead of living self-honesty in fact.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to present self-honesty to the world out there somewhere - instead of realizing that that is not actual self-honesty from the starting point of self as who I am.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to misplace my starting point out there somewhere - instead of realizing that this process is for me as me as from me as the starting point of me as who I am.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to perceive/believethat I am able to prove to other people or the world that I am self-honest - instead of living who I am as the self-proof of who I am - it is not about proving anything to anybody; it is about who I am.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to put on the personality suit as the idea about myself being self-honest to protect the actual self-dishonesty within.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed to embrace me unconditionally including self-dishonesty which i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, within this embracing to transform/change/stop the self-dishonesty that I have accepted and allowed.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to see with self-honesty what i have accepted and allowed within me.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that judgement/denial/resistance of self-dishonesty and the presentation of me as the idea of self-honesty is preventing me from facing what i have accepted and allowed within me and is prolonging my own process of self-realization as who I am as LIFE of oneness and equality.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use excuses/reasons/justifications to prevent me from seeing the truth of me as my nature/beingness as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become of self-dishonesty as the mind.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be reluctant to face the self-dishonesty that i have accetped and allowed.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape from what i have acccepted and allowed within me instead of assisting and supporting myself to stand up, take self-responsibility and stop my existence as self-dishonesty as what i have always been.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with beings around me and feel good about me because i believe myself to be self-honest while all other people are self-dishonest.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of good for the idea of me being apparently self-honest.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to place value and worth in an idea of me being self-honest - in separation of myself.







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to accept the word self-honesty as who I am and live as the word self-honesty.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be so chickshitted to face what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become that i wanted to use all kinds excuses/reasons/justifications to not face myself and take self-responsibility.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about myself when i see the self-dishonesty that i have accepted and allowed.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to judge self-dishonesty as bad.







I forgive myelf that I have accpeted and allowed myself to charge self-dishonesty with a negative value.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to separate myself from self-dishonesty through judging it as bad.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i have the choice to not see/face the self-dishonesty that i have accepted and allowed.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form an idea about myself as being self-honest and hold onto the self-definition of me being self-honest which is an illusion protecting the real truth as self-dishonesty within me.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not want to see my self-dishonesty which means not wanting to take self-responsibility for what i have accepted and allowed.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use free will/free choice as excuses/justifications/reasons to not face the self-dishonesty i have accepted and allowed and continue to exist as and protect the self-dishonesty, which is perpetuating the world to exist as it currently exist which is a fuck-up.







I forigive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ignore deliberately my self-dishonesty instead of facing myself with brutal self-honesty, embracing what i have become and stopping it completely.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out self-deception as the personality suit as the idea of self-honesty which i have created within my mind.







Till here no further!!!











I stop my self-definition as the personality suit of the idea of self-honesty which is protecting the self-dishonesty within me.







I do not accept and allow myself to hide behind an idea of self-honesty which I created within my mind to protect my self-definitions of/as the mind.







I accept and allow myself to stop my knowledge/information/idea/belief about self-honesty and actually live self-honesty within practical application as who I am.







I do not accept and allow myself to judge beings around me as fucked-up mind consciousness systems which only support my own self-definition as the polar opposite as the idea of self-honesty which i hold onto and to protect the truth of me as self-dishonesty.







I do not accept and allow myself to project the truth of me as fucked-up systems onto others.







I do not accept and allow myself to live in the illusion/delusion of me being apparently self-honest while all others are self-dishonest fucked-up systems.







I do not accept and allow myself to escape/hide from what I have accepted and allowed as who I am.







I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility and correct myself and chage/transform myself so that I no longer continue to exist within and as that which I have always existed as - of/as the mind of self-dishonesty.







I do not accept and allow myself to use self-judgment as a means to protect my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty.

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