Note: the following is an expansion of an article that I published on my Chinese blog on September 30, 2009.
The most prominent point that i am dealing with is resistance to the system and the resulting procrastination.
I am currently in the education system, yet i had a resistance of being in it. Within this resistance, there is a reluctance of participating in the system and a desire to escape from the system. With the reluctance of participation and desire to escape, procrastination is born.
I have been experiencing these resistance, reluctance, desire to escape and procrastination for a long time. I regard what was here presented to me in the moment as bad or less important. I desired to do something else that i perceive to be more important and more desirable. So i will postpone doing what is here in the moment until i have to do it with anxiety and frustration to meet the dealines. Such experiences have been pertetuating for a long time.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate, defining myself as and living out my self-definition as procrastination.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to procrastination, perceiving that i can not make a difference in what i am experiencing day in and day out - enslaved, controled and trapped in the mind consciousness system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power and life to procrastination.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that procrastination is more than me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a slave to the mind consciousness system.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand one and equal with my mind consciousness system and direct it as myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify procrastination, perceiving/believing that it is not a big deal and that procrastination can make me very efficient.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my self-definition as procrastination and find all kinds of excuses, reasons and justifications to hold onto my self-definition as procrastination within which i am trapped as a MCS constantly and continuously experiencing anxiety and frustration day in and day out.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety and frustration, define my self as the anxiety and frustration that i experience within me, and live out such self-definitions.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself by allowing myself to be trapped within the now of the unified consciousenss field, experiencing anxiety and frustration constantly and continuously day in and day out, charging the MCS within me which i define as who i am while abusing who i really am as Life as all as one as equal.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to systems within me to abuse who i really am as Life as all as one as equal, giving my power away to systems.
I forgive myself thati have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as self-abuse.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as self-defeat and live out my self-definition as self-defeat, perceiving that i can not make a difference in what i am experiencing within me day in and day out.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as lack of self-discipline and justify my self-definition as lack of self-discipline.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify self-abuse, self-defeat, lack of self-discipline.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by programs within me, giving my power away to programs.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as event-driven and live out my self-definition as being event-diven instead of me directing myself and me moving myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by dealines and experience anxity and frustration constantly and continuously within me day in and day out, giving my power away to programs and systems within me which i define as who i am and justify their existence within me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to protect programs and systems within me, giving permission to systems and programs to abuse who i really am as Life as all as one as equal.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to become dealine-riven or time-driven, giving my power away to dealines and time and live out my self-deifinition as dealine-driven and time-driven.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to programs and systems within me to trap me in the system as the now of the unified consciousness field.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the system as bad, exist in resitance towards being in the system and desire to escape from the system.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the system, fear the system and give my power away to the system.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as judgement, resistance, reluctance to be in the system and desire to escape from the system, and live out my self-defintion as resistance, reluctance to be in the system and desire to escape from the system, instead of realizing that the system exists as it currently exists is through my own participation, design and manifestation and that it is my self-responsibility to transform my own experience within what i am experiencing myself within the system to no longer allow myself to be defined by the system, i.e. to be in the sytem yet not of the system.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that existing in judgement, fear, resistance, reluctance and trying to escape is not going to solve the problem and that i must take self-responsibility to transform myself within the system and live the solution as myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify my self-definition as judgement, fear, resistance, reluctance and desiring to escape from the system instead of taking self-responsibility to transform my experience within the system to live the solution equal and one as myself to no longer be defined by the system.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify procrastination and live out my self-definition as procrastination, experiencing anxiety and frustration constantly and continuously day in and day out charging and giving my power away to the mind consciousness system within me and abusing who i really am as Life as all as one as equal.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize the self-dishonesty and self-abuse that i have been doing onto myself merely by giving my power away to habitual behavior of procrastination.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to habitual behavior of procrastination, giving permission to such a program to direct me instead of me directing myself and moving myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as program/system driven and live out my self-definition as program/system driven and justify my self-definition according to system and programs, while abusing who i really am as Life as all as one as equal.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be reluctant to get rid of the program of procrastination that is directing me currently.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to follow programs and allow programs to direct me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself deliberately into the program of procrastination instead of realizing that what i am doing is self-abuse.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to enjoy self-abuse. WTF!!!
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I actually enjoy self-abuse.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a belief about myself as enjoying self-abuse.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to deceive myself to forget what i experienced when i was driven by dealines -- the anxiety, frustration and discomfort within me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as deliberate fogetfulness which is actually me being reluctant to see what i am doing to myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create forgetfulness as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that it is justified to be forgetful.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to forgetfulness.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that since i am not experiencing the anxiety and frustration right now then it is OK for me to procrastinate instead of realizing the consequence of giving permission to such a program to direct me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just want to survive the experience of procrastination.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by survival instead of standing as the self directive principle, directing myself and my world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself that there is plenty of time for me to do something and that it is OK to procrastinate.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to procrastination.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the lure of procrastination which is a program leading to self-dishonesty and self-abuse.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sacrifice myself as Life to the system as programs.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that i have been falling into the program of procrastination for so long.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate myself, not really seeing what i have been experiencing within me for such a long time.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to take self-responsibility to really see within me what i have been experiencing within me day in and day out, being drained by anxiety and frustration which charge the systems within me that i have defined as who i am.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to pretend that i am disgusted with what i am experiencing within me while at the same did nothing to really make a difference.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed to realize that "I will never to this again" is not real because after such an experience i immediately forget what i said to myself - thus creating immediate self-invalidation and self-defeat.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be aware of the words that I speak.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget words immediately after I have said them - indicating that I am actually in direct opposite to the words that I spoke.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to live the words as myself instead allowed myself to abuse the words i spoke as who i am.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form a habitual behavior of saying "I will never do this again" while at the same still participate that which is perpetuating my experience day in and day out, denstrating that those words are not real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create self-defeat through making statements that I did not live and actually lived the direct opposite of that which I stated.
Be careful with the word never. Rather say I will not do it again and then apply the words one and equal as self.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that i have abused myself as words by not living the words one and equal as myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to make false statmenets that i do not live and discipline myself to apply.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to live and apply that which i see need to be done in every moment as every breath.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize the self-dishonesty and self-abuse of not living and applying that which i see need to be done.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself by not living the words i speak.
I forgive myself that i have accepted anda llowed myself to justify the program of procrastination using other people's behavior of procrastination.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel/perceive/believe that i can only do my homework in the night.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that it is not the right time to do homework in the day.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use excuses, reasons and justifications to procrastinate, giving my power away to programs to direct me in stead of taking my power, directing and moving myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as the habitual behavior of doing my howework in the last minute.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to play the game of selective forgetfulness to justify my self-definition as programs, systems, and habitual behaviors, instead of realizing that i am only deceiving and manipulating myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive that manipulate myself through the game of selective forgetfulness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use selective forgetfulness to create personality definitions which I have defined as who I am.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as deception and manipulation, live out my self-defintion as deception and manipulation, and justify deception and manipulation.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify self-abuse.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself and live out my self-definition as inferiority towards the patterns, habitual behaviors and programs within me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as self-defeat by perceiving that i can not stand up and make a direct intervention to stop the porgrams within me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that i may fall back to the pattern of procrastination again.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect falling back to the pattern of procrastination again to fear and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
Till here no further!
I do not accept porgrams, patterns, habitual behaviors to direct me and move me!
I do not accept myself to become dealine-driven, event driven, or time-driven.
I stop myself as procrastination.
I do not accept procrastination within me.
I do not accept fear.
I do not accept self-abuse.
I do not accept self-dishonesty.
I assist and support and discipline myself to stop procrastination for 21 days!!!
I do not accept empty words!!!
I do not accept abuse of words as who i am!!!
Till here no further!!!
I assist and support myself to stop the programs and systems within me and start to move and direct myself.
I direct myself.
I move myself.
I am the directive principle of me.
I am breath every here moment.
I express.
I live.
I live who i really am as Life as all as one as equal as the living word as the sound harmonic expression_r of Life as Life.
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Check out the following websites:
Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/
Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/
Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/
My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum
My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe
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