Monday, May 23, 2011

Self-Forgiveness on Points Related to a Personality

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a cool Teaching Assistant(TA).




I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to want and desire to be regarded as a cool TA.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel good that those students think me to be cool.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that the students think me to be cool.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of good when I perceive/imagine that those students think me to be cool.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to an energetic charge of feeling.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by energy instead of me standing as the self-directive principle in my world.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the self-definition as a cool TA to gain value and worth –which indicates that I have not accepted value and worth as who I am Here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from value and worth through placing value and worth in a personality definition of being a cool teaching assistant instead of realizing that value and worth as LIFE is here within and as me as who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that who I am is dependent on other people’s feedback on me – if I am more popular, I am becoming something more; if I am less welcome, I am becoming something less.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am according to other people’s feedback on me.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself unconditionally Here as who I am.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to change myself around students to fit into the idea of a cool TA that exist within my mind.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to laugh out of nervousness, to cover my nervousness within communication with other students.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience nervousness within communication with other people.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in nervousness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be the emotion of nervousness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience nervousness and anxiety and uncertainty when not knowing how to handle the situation instead of trusting myself here as myself in every moment of breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in and define myself according to and as nervousness and anxiety and uncertainty.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the thought ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as a thought ‘I can do nothing.’



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior because I believe that ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the situation where I perceive/believe that I cannot handle to exist as a trigger point within me – triggering the thought ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought ‘I can do nothing’ to the situation where I perceive/believe that I cannot handle the situation.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the self-belief that ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought ‘I can do nothing’ to be real and actually live according to it and create and manifest it.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotion of inferiority.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotion of inferiority to the thought ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought ‘I can do nothing’ to the memory of me being a teaching assistant in another course where I felt inferior to another TA because of my ineffectiveness of handling that situation.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief about myself that ‘I can do nothing’ according to my experiences of participation in the educational system after I came to US.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memory of me being a TA with another TA for the course of astronomy where I was ineffective/unstable and felt inferior.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ineffective/unstable/fluttered/inferior/fuck-up/stupid/anger to the memory of being a TA with another TA Wanyu Ye for the course of astronomy.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the words ineffective/unstable/fluttered/inferior/fuck-up/stupid/anger within the memory of being a TA with another TA Wanyu Ye for the course of astronomy.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the words ineffective/unstable/fluttered/inferior/fuck-up/stupid/anger through defining these words within a memory in separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the memory with an emotional energetic reaction of anger and blame.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the construct of anger and blame for my experience of ineffectiveness/instability instead of simply assisting and supporting myself to transform myself and my experience into stability and effectiveness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be reluctant to take responsibility for myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as ineffectiveness/instability due to my judgment, fear and resistance of my participation in the educational system.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my judgment/fear/resistance of participation in the educational system onto reading Desteni materials while it is based on my interpretation and conclusion that are drawn from the materials through my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought ‘I fucking deserve what I experienced. Fuck you.’



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought ‘I fucking deserve what I experienced. Fuck you.’to be who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word responsibility to the thought ‘I fucking deserve what I experienced. Fuck you.’and define the word responsibility within that thought.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto anger and blame within participation in the thought ‘I fucking deserve what I experienced. Fuck you.’- in the form of self-spitefulness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that by saying that ‘I deserve what I experienced’I am not blaming others while the actual fact is that I am still blaming in the form of self-spitefulness – and the word ‘fuck you’ is an obvious indicator of anger/blame/spitefulness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto blame in the form of self-spitefulness so that I can continue to exist as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become instead of assisting and supporting me to take self-responsibility and transform my experience into that which I would actually enjoy rather than the one of anger/blame/self-spitefulness/self-destruction.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in self-spitefulness as a form of punishment of myself and those who I directed my blame towards.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite and destroy myself so that I can continue to blame.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to exist as the construct of blame of self-enslavement.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite and destroy myself instead of transforming/changing myself within seeing the common sense that blame is never going to get me anywhere but self-destruction and self-enslavement.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my self-definition of anger and blame instead of realizing that it does not assist me in any way whatsoever.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought ‘I am willing to’ as a defense mechanism of/from/through my mind of blame.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that thought ‘I am willing to’ as a defense mechanism of/from/through my mind of blame to be who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the inner demon of anger and blame for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become that is not honoring who I really am as LIFE.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest with myself – indicated in the anger that I experience – being angry with myself for not being honest with myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue my existence of self-abuse and self-dishonesty through the construct of blame.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be the construct of blame instead of realizing that it is not who I really am of/as LIFE.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as inferiority and attempt to become superior through becoming the personality of a cool teaching assistant.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I am becoming something more than through becoming a cool TA.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the polarity of superiority/inferiority. I stop. It’s not who I am.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as lack of trust.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself as who I am Here in every moment of breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust into a personality of being a cool teaching assistant.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of me into my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of me into thoughts as what my mind tells me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I cannot trust myself within situations that I have never handled before and perceive/believe that I must trust what my mind tells me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to misplace my trust outside of me separate from me instead of trusting myself here in every moment of breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of me into my past habitual patterns which I have defined as who I am and trusted.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into past memories as how I behaved and acted.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into what I see people around me doing – attempting to copy them as a way to survive in the situation which I perceive/believe that I do not know how to handle.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into people’s feedbacks.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into what I perceive/believe would be acceptable by this world through my mind based on interpretations and assumptions.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into assumptions/interpretations/perceptions/ideas/beliefs/conclusions of/as the mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I can not trust myself and that in order for me to survive in the situation I must trust something that I believe to be more than me – which I believed to be my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my mind to be more trustworthy than myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that my mind is able to help me survive the situation.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior (in fear) to my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my mind to be more than who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by the need to survive – where I placed my trust in the mind, believing it will get me through.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place hope into my mind – hoping my mind to get me through situations that I believe that I cannot handle.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as hope – instead of realizing that hope enslaves me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck myself with hope instead of trusting myself here as the breath of life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in hope.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope situations to get better by itself instead of directing myself to transform/change myself and my world.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a nervous system demon within me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as the nervous system demon that I have created by myself.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to impress the students using words and laughter so that they can accept me as a cool TA – instead of me accepting myself and expression myself as who I am here in breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect students to regard me as a cool TA.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience nervous and anxiety in communication with others because I expected them to see me in a certain way I wanted them to see.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as expectations.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto expectations of students seeing me as being a cool TA.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the self-expectation of being seen as cool.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value and worth in being seen as cool because I have perceived myself to be a boring person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a boring person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word boring with a negative value.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word boring as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word boring through judging it as bad/wrong/negative in separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for my perception that I am a boring person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike myself because I have defined myself as a boring person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as cool/interesting.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have a personality of being cool/interesting/outgoing.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being cool/interesting/outgoing/extroversive as good/positive/right and charge them with a positive value.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the polarity of being boring/reserved/introverted and cool/interesting/outgoing/extroversive





I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that all desires are merely reflections of the core desire for self because I have separated myself from here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from here as the breath of life as who I really am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being less than those people who are perceived to be extroversive, interesting and cool.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for myself outside of myself instead of realizing that I am already here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have ‘lost’ myself – instead of realizing that I am lost in the mind as what I have believed to be who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to find myself outside of myself – instead of realizing and accepting that: I am here.



The following ten self-forgiveness sentences are from the Introduction to Desteni course materials with regards to the point of desire:

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my desires.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly follow my desires, believing that these desires are who I am and that it is my benefit to now act on my desires – when actually desires are merely sexual energy that was transferred into my mind and that such desires exist to distract me from myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from everything and everyone that exists.



I forgive myself that I have ont accepted and allowed myself to accept myself as equal and one as all and everything that exists.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as ‘less than’/’inferior to’ others.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I desire something, it is because I believe that that which I desire can ‘give me’ something, as though that something is not already who I am.



I forgive myself for not accepting myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in nagging feelings of ‘something is wrong’, ‘I am not satisfied’, ‘I am not complete’, ‘I am not fulfilled’ – and to believe such experiences to be real, to be me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need/require to be in a relationship with someone or something in order for me to be complete fulfilled and satisfied with myself.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I am in a relationship, I am still here and I am still me and nothing has actually changed in relation to ‘who I am’.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define expression and joy within beings who are perceived to be interesting/cool/extroversive outside of me separate from me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from expression and joy through defining expression and joy outside of me separate from me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek expression and joy within the personality of being interesting/cool/extroversive – outside of me separate from me.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed expression and joy as me as who I am here as one with me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive and believe that I am able to find expression and joy within becoming a personality of being interesting/cool/extroversive.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that expression and joy is me as who I am – and that I do not need to search them outside of me in separate manifestations.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I am not allowed to have expressions and being joyful.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define any form of expressions as of the mind and of self-dishonesty – thus not allowing myself to have any form of expressions.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself because I have allowed myself to suppress my self-expression.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow my self-expression to flow.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold my self-expression back within the belief that I cannot and I am allowed to have expressions.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the make-belief that if I have any form of expressions I am being self-dishonest and thus in order for me to be self-honest I must suppress any form of expressions that may possibly come out.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse self-expression with emotions and feelings.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to self-expression within emotions and feelings instead of realizing that emotions and feelings are of the mind and is not of who I really am as LIFE.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as suppression of self-expression.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from people who I perceive to be interesting/cool/extroversive through accepting and allowing myself to define my expression within people who I perceive to be interesting/cool/extroversive outside of me separate from me – instead of accepting expression as me as who I am.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to laugh out of personality design from my mind to support my self-dishonesty instead of laughing as an unconditional self-expression.



I forgive myself that i have accetped and allowed myself to laugh as a reaction towards other beings' words which are not even funny.



i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to expect to make fun and react to other people's words.



i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react to other people's words and formed a habitual behavior of laughing and reacting to other people's words which i imagined to be funny while it is not.



I forgive myself that I have not been aware of this pattern because I have accepted it as me to such an extensive extent.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted laughing as unconditional self-expression as who I am.





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I stop the search for and of self – I realize and accept that who I am is here and that I am equal and one to all that is here. I accept and realize that the way to realize self as here equal and one is breathing – focus on my breathing – breathing naturally, being here as self-presence and self-awareness within and as everything I touch.



I accept and realize that expression is one with me as me as who I am here as the breath of life thus I do not need to seek expression outside of me separate from me in a personality defined as being interesting/cool/extroversive.



I accept and realize that anger and blame takes me nowhere but self-destruction and self-enslavement.



I accept effectiveness and stability as who I am.



I do not accept and allow myself to hold onto anger and blame for what I have become.



I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility and transform/change what I have become that is not of who I really am as LIFE and live as effectiveness and stability within and as the breath of LIFE as who I am here.



I use the anger to stand up – to no longer allow myself to continue to exist within and as that which I know is not of who I really am as LIFE – but honor myself as who I really am as LIFE.



I stop the game of inferiority/superiority of polarity.



I do not accept and allow myself to place trust within my mind as thoughts/emotions/feelings/interpretations/perceptions/ideas/belierfs/assumptions/projetions etc outside of me separate from me – I accept and allow trust as me as who I am here as the breath of LIFE – I trust me here as breath within handling a situation that I have not handled before.



I do not accept and allow myself to place my trust in hope – enslaving myself into hope. I accept and allow myself to actually practically transform/change/direct myself and my world as myself.



I do not accept and allow myself to be driven by survival – believing that my mind is able to get me through/survive situations.



I accept and allow myself to trust myself and direct myself in my world in breath when facing a situation – I trust myself to give it direction instead of me being directed by my mind.





I accept and allow expression as me as one with me as who I am Here – not separate from me in something or someone outside of me separate from me.



I accept and allow laughter as me as one with me – not a personality defined reactive habitual behavior.

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