How to distinguish when I am of my mind from when I am of the physical? I have experienced both - of my mind and of the physical. These two kinds of experiences are very distinctive. I have been 'oscillating' between the two 'modes' of experiences for months. There are some indicators that I have identified to assist me in distinguishing these two 'modes'.
The experience of being of the mind is what I spent most of my life in. I have been so accustomed/used to such a mode that I've perceived it to be normal. Some characteristics of the mode of being of my mind are:
Having no self-discipline, self-intimacy, self-committment and self-dedication
Existing in self-interest. Participating in thoughts/emotions/feelings.
Repetitive thoughts especially those that generate fears.
The mind is flooded with thoughts. The head is heavy.
Being ineffective in my everyday participation. Not being in tune with the physical.
Seclusion. No intimacy with self and other beings as self.
Anger, disgust, frustration, irritation, judgement, resistance, denial, fear, anxiety, powerlessness, helplessness, polarity, comparison, competition, wanting to be superior, self-pity
The experience of being one and equal with the physical is very different from that when I am lost in my mind. The first time I experienced it I perceived it to be something 'magical' or 'paranormal', becasue it is so different from what I've always experiecned myself to be of my mind. There was a period of time when I doubted this experience because another person told me that it was of the mind and I did not trust myself and just simply believed what person said must be true. What happened then was that I got lost in the backchat that was constantly and continuously telling me that that which I experienced different from what I usually experienced was still all of my mind. I remember there was a moment when I was so annoyed by the backchat that I said with anger/frustration to my mind something like 'OK. I give it up. Now you are satisfied?' That's how I allowed the backchat within my mind to direct me - believing that self-experience of who I am as the physical to be of my mind, being persuaded by mind to leave it, and 'coming back to' my 'normal' way of experiencing myself which is actually of my mind.
Some characteristics of the 'mode' of being of the physical:
The words I speak is in tune with my human physical body. When I speak aloud, the words actually resonate with my whole human physical body. I can experience my whole human physical body to be acting as some form of instrument, resonating/vibrating as the words flow out aloud. This happens particularly when I stay alone in my dorm speaking self-forgiveness aloud. The resonation can actually become so intense that not only my human physical body but also the whole room is able to resonate together with my words. It is fascinating.
When I am expierencing myself of the physical, I become more intimate with the physical reality - what I see such as trees or the wind or whatever of the physical is of LIFE and there is an intimacy - I do not see this reality as separate from me - there is no 'walls' between me and this reality as what I usually experience myself to be when I am lost in my mind. I recognize the physical reality one and equal with me as me.
When I am one and equal with my human physical body - I am aware of my human physical body; I am aware of the movement of my human physical body; I am aware of what I touch - what I touch is me, the whole existence is me. I experience intimacy with whatever I touch, be it water, pillow, bed, chair, keyboard, computer, pencil, flower, etc - quite different from what I experience when I am in my mind.
When I am in tune with my human physical body, I am also in tune with my physical environment. I am one and equal with the moment that I experince myself in my physical environment. What steps forth as such an experience is clarity - I can see direct in the moment and act accordingly. Thus my participation in my world is also very effective.
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The above is a modified version of a blog post that I publised on my Chinese blog on JULY-06-2009 which I am now moving here to this English blog.
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