Resistance and Procrastination Self-forgiveness

Note: the following is an expansion of an article that I published on my Chinese blog on September 30, 2009.


The most prominent point that i am dealing with is resistance to the system and the resulting procrastination.



I am currently in the education system, yet i had a resistance of being in it. Within this resistance, there is a reluctance of participating in the system and a desire to escape from the system. With the reluctance of participation and desire to escape, procrastination is born.


I have been experiencing these resistance, reluctance, desire to escape and procrastination for a long time. I regard what was here presented to me in the moment as bad or less important. I desired to do something else that i perceive to be more important and more desirable. So i will postpone doing what is here in the moment until i have to do it with anxiety and frustration to meet the dealines. Such experiences have been pertetuating for a long time.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate, defining myself as and living out my self-definition as procrastination.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to procrastination, perceiving that i can not make a difference in what i am experiencing day in and day out - enslaved, controled and trapped in the mind consciousness system.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power and life to procrastination.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that procrastination is more than me.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a slave to the mind consciousness system.







I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand one and equal with my mind consciousness system and direct it as myself.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify procrastination, perceiving/believing that it is not a big deal and that procrastination can make me very efficient.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my self-definition as procrastination and find all kinds of excuses, reasons and justifications to hold onto my self-definition as procrastination within which i am trapped as a MCS constantly and continuously experiencing anxiety and frustration day in and day out.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety and frustration, define my self as the anxiety and frustration that i experience within me, and live out such self-definitions.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself by allowing myself to be trapped within the now of the unified consciousenss field, experiencing anxiety and frustration constantly and continuously day in and day out, charging the MCS within me which i define as who i am while abusing who i really am as Life as all as one as equal.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to systems within me to abuse who i really am as Life as all as one as equal, giving my power away to systems.







I forgive myself thati have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as self-abuse.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as self-defeat and live out my self-definition as self-defeat, perceiving that i can not make a difference in what i am experiencing within me day in and day out.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as lack of self-discipline and justify my self-definition as lack of self-discipline.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify self-abuse, self-defeat, lack of self-discipline.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by programs within me, giving my power away to programs.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as event-driven and live out my self-definition as being event-diven instead of me directing myself and me moving myself.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by dealines and experience anxity and frustration constantly and continuously within me day in and day out, giving my power away to programs and systems within me which i define as who i am and justify their existence within me.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to protect programs and systems within me, giving permission to systems and programs to abuse who i really am as Life as all as one as equal.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to become dealine-riven or time-driven, giving my power away to dealines and time and live out my self-deifinition as dealine-driven and time-driven.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to programs and systems within me to trap me in the system as the now of the unified consciousness field.







i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the system as bad, exist in resitance towards being in the system and desire to escape from the system.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the system, fear the system and give my power away to the system.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as judgement, resistance, reluctance to be in the system and desire to escape from the system, and live out my self-defintion as resistance, reluctance to be in the system and desire to escape from the system, instead of realizing that the system exists as it currently exists is through my own participation, design and manifestation and that it is my self-responsibility to transform my own experience within what i am experiencing myself within the system to no longer allow myself to be defined by the system, i.e. to be in the sytem yet not of the system.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that existing in judgement, fear, resistance, reluctance and trying to escape is not going to solve the problem and that i must take self-responsibility to transform myself within the system and live the solution as myself.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify my self-definition as judgement, fear, resistance, reluctance and desiring to escape from the system instead of taking self-responsibility to transform my experience within the system to live the solution equal and one as myself to no longer be defined by the system.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify procrastination and live out my self-definition as procrastination, experiencing anxiety and frustration constantly and continuously day in and day out charging and giving my power away to the mind consciousness system within me and abusing who i really am as Life as all as one as equal.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize the self-dishonesty and self-abuse that i have been doing onto myself merely by giving my power away to habitual behavior of procrastination.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to habitual behavior of procrastination, giving permission to such a program to direct me instead of me directing myself and moving myself.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as program/system driven and live out my self-definition as program/system driven and justify my self-definition according to system and programs, while abusing who i really am as Life as all as one as equal.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be reluctant to get rid of the program of procrastination that is directing me currently.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to follow programs and allow programs to direct me.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself deliberately into the program of procrastination instead of realizing that what i am doing is self-abuse.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to enjoy self-abuse. WTF!!!







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I actually enjoy self-abuse.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a belief about myself as enjoying self-abuse.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to deceive myself to forget what i experienced when i was driven by dealines -- the anxiety, frustration and discomfort within me.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as deliberate fogetfulness which is actually me being reluctant to see what i am doing to myself.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create forgetfulness as myself.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that it is justified to be forgetful.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to forgetfulness.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that since i am not experiencing the anxiety and frustration right now then it is OK for me to procrastinate instead of realizing the consequence of giving permission to such a program to direct me.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just want to survive the experience of procrastination.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by survival instead of standing as the self directive principle, directing myself and my world.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself that there is plenty of time for me to do something and that it is OK to procrastinate.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to procrastination.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the lure of procrastination which is a program leading to self-dishonesty and self-abuse.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sacrifice myself as Life to the system as programs.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that i have been falling into the program of procrastination for so long.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate myself, not really seeing what i have been experiencing within me for such a long time.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate self-responsibility.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to take self-responsibility to really see within me what i have been experiencing within me day in and day out, being drained by anxiety and frustration which charge the systems within me that i have defined as who i am.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to pretend that i am disgusted with what i am experiencing within me while at the same did nothing to really make a difference.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed to realize that "I will never to this again" is not real because after such an experience i immediately forget what i said to myself - thus creating immediate self-invalidation and self-defeat.







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be aware of the words that I speak.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget words immediately after I have said them - indicating that I am actually in direct opposite to the words that I spoke.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to live the words as myself instead allowed myself to abuse the words i spoke as who i am.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form a habitual behavior of saying "I will never do this again" while at the same still participate that which is perpetuating my experience day in and day out, denstrating that those words are not real.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create self-defeat through making statements that I did not live and actually lived the direct opposite of that which I stated.







Be careful with the word never. Rather say I will not do it again and then apply the words one and equal as self.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that i have abused myself as words by not living the words one and equal as myself.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to make false statmenets that i do not live and discipline myself to apply.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to live and apply that which i see need to be done in every moment as every breath.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize the self-dishonesty and self-abuse of not living and applying that which i see need to be done.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself by not living the words i speak.







I forgive myself that i have accepted anda llowed myself to justify the program of procrastination using other people's behavior of procrastination.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel/perceive/believe that i can only do my homework in the night.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that it is not the right time to do homework in the day.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use excuses, reasons and justifications to procrastinate, giving my power away to programs to direct me in stead of taking my power, directing and moving myself.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as the habitual behavior of doing my howework in the last minute.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to play the game of selective forgetfulness to justify my self-definition as programs, systems, and habitual behaviors, instead of realizing that i am only deceiving and manipulating myself.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive that manipulate myself through the game of selective forgetfulness.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use selective forgetfulness to create personality definitions which I have defined as who I am.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as deception and manipulation, live out my self-defintion as deception and manipulation, and justify deception and manipulation.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify self-abuse.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself and live out my self-definition as inferiority towards the patterns, habitual behaviors and programs within me.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as self-defeat by perceiving that i can not stand up and make a direct intervention to stop the porgrams within me.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that i may fall back to the pattern of procrastination again.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect falling back to the pattern of procrastination again to fear and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.







Till here no further!



I do not accept porgrams, patterns, habitual behaviors to direct me and move me!



I do not accept myself to become dealine-driven, event driven, or time-driven.



I stop myself as procrastination.



I do not accept procrastination within me.



I do not accept fear.



I do not accept self-abuse.



I do not accept self-dishonesty.







I assist and support and discipline myself to stop procrastination for 21 days!!!







I do not accept empty words!!!



I do not accept abuse of words as who i am!!!



Till here no further!!!







I assist and support myself to stop the programs and systems within me and start to move and direct myself.



I direct myself.



I move myself.



I am the directive principle of me.



I am breath every here moment.



I express.



I live.



I live who i really am as Life as all as one as equal as the living word as the sound harmonic expression_r of Life as Life.


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Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/





Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/





Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/





My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum



My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe

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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Muscle Twitching and Asking Questions

Note: This is not a new article. It is an article I published on my Chinese blog on September 17, 2009. I am now moving it to this English blog as a part of the process of reorganizing my blogs.

Muscle twitching is an indication of system manifestation within the human physical body. I have experienced this for some time. My human physical body has been assisting and supporting me for a long time but most of the time I did not recoganize what my body was telling me. What is crucial is to identify specifically the systems within the human physical body from the manifested symptoms such as muscle twitching. And structural resonance alignment training course based on muscle testing which is communication with muscles by asking specific questions to identify manifested systems within the human physical body will assist a lot. At this moment i have not yet been able to communicate specifically with my muscles but i have been aware of the manifested symptoms such as muscle twitching and pains at specific points of my human physical body.

Today i have just had such an experience. I have been experiencing some struggle in deciding whether to ask or answer questions in class and my starting point of doing so. In the class of solid state physics today, the professor asked a question and after a while no one could give an answer. In order to break this perceived uncomfortable silence (merely a perceptoin through the mind) i gave it a shot. The answer turned out to be incorrect. I immediately felt that i made a stupid mistake. I judged myself to be like an idiot and moron and judged myself as being stupid. Later on I also felt that my answer was based on a naive shallow guess and showed no 'profound thinking'. I also feared other students in the class juding me as being stupid. I experienced anxiety and discomfort after i realized that the answer was not correct. I defined it as a humiliation and perceived that i had 'lost my face'. My face got hot due to blood flushing in and i dropped my head down imagining that other students are looking at me and judging me, fearing to face the professor and other students. I tried to pretend to be cool and divert my attention from what i am thinking of myself by picking up a pile of documents and put it somewhere else which had no meaning at all but to divert attention. The lecture moved on and i had almost no intent in hearing what the professor was presenting. After a while a student asked a very basic question regarding a definition which i perceived to be too trivial and i judged him to have asked a stupid question which in part is because i wanted to feel better by perceiving that others did the same stupid thing i did. All those are self-judgement and judgement of others as myself. I experienced sharp pain points in my body, besides the belly button specifically. Then i wanted to save my face by giving some profound answers that can prove my intelligence and smartness. (Right now as i was typing these words i experienced muscle twitching and pain again on my left arm. It seems that i have triggered some specific points within my human physical body.) So i searched eagerly for opportunities to answer some questions to save face. And i did. I was directed by the desire to prove myself to others and present myself to others. I was so eager to spit out what i know and get accepted and confirmed by others. I did not want to appear to be stupid. And i feared to be regarded as being stupid. Yeah, desire to prove to others that i am not stupid. And when i was trying to present my intellectuality and smartness i existed in anticipation and expectation. I was anxious, excited, anticipating to spit out my knowledge. This strong desire, anxiety and anticipation caused almost my whole body to tremble and twitch. After i answered some answers that i felt satisfactory, i experienced an apparent relief and superiority, believing that i have saved my face and established my intellectuality. So this whole scenario of asking and answering questions was done from the starting point of supporting my ego.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive the question to be too trivial to deserve an answer.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the question to be stupid.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there are stupid questions and answers.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel puzzled and confused and fear to ask questions to clear it up.

I forgive myself that i have accpeted and allowed myself to fear that i may ask stupid questions.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the question i asked may be too trivial and may reflect my stupidity.


i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge questions and judge myself for asking questions.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i can only ask profound questions and give profound answers.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i should avoid asking questions that do not reflect my profoundness and intellectuality even the question may assist me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to use asking questions and giving answers as a means to present myself to support my own self-definition as being intellectual and smart.


i forgive myself that i have accpeted and allowed to hold onto and live out my self-definition as being smart and intellectual and fear losing my self-definition.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive i have lost my self-definition of being smart, intellectual, superior by answering questions incorrectly and I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel stupid, idiotic, ashamed, embarrasing, humiliated, having lost face that i did not answer the question correctly.


I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to be clear with the starting point of asking and answering questions.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the questions other students asked and perceive them to be stupid to ask such trivial questions.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge questions and answers.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that i have made a stupid mistake by giving an incorrect answer.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from judgement.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and judge others as myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i was the only one who appeared to be stupid.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to desire to see that others made the same stupid mistakes i made and find all ways to manipulate myself to believe that others really made the same stupid mistakes i did while the starting point is i judged myself in the first place.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel good to see or believe that others made the same mistakes i made and perceive myself to not be the only one that is stupid.

I forgive myself that i have accpeted and allowed myself to fear to be the only one who appeared to be stupid which is self-judgement in the first place, and feel that my stupidity has been alleviated with the presence of other beings' stupidity.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that if others made the same mistakes i made, the mistakes become lesser.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to save face which is to save my self-definition as being intellectual and smart.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in comparison and competition in class with other students exist in the imaginary competition and perceive myself to be superior if i have answered a question perfectly.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place value and worth in answering questions correctly and gain praise and confirmation from teachers.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to gain favor from teacheres.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i can only accept myself when i have proved to others that i am intellectual and smart.


I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to accept myself unconditionally, instead i separated myself from self-acceptance by desiring acceptance and confirmation and favor from teachers.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to become a pet of the teachers.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define asking and answering questions as opportunities to perpetuate my MCS and self-definition.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i need to save my face by giving profound answers and perceive that i can save my face.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to experience anticipation and expectation and anxiety when i desired to spit out something that i perceive to be important.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as anticipation and expectation and the experienced anxiety.

I forgive myself that ihave accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as anticipation, expectation and experienced anxiety.


I forgive myself that ihave accepted and allowed myself to be anxious when i expect a certain result after i answer the question.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place value, worth, importance in answering questions correctly and profoundly.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i have accepted and allowed myself to have the desire to prove to other beings a certain presentation of myself that ihave defined as who i am.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to present myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the picture presentation of myself.
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Check out the following websites:
Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/


Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/


Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/


My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum

My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe

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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Termination

The following are two articles with regards to the word terminate I published on my Chinese blog on August 13 and August 15 2009. Now I am moving them here to this English blog.


determination = de + terminate + creation = deliberately terminate myself as this systematic creation


The whole as creation is not honourable. It has to stop. This world is the reflection of me as my nature/beingness as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become. Thus i am not honourable. I have to stop myself and the world as creation as me. It can not continue. The Existence as me is the reflection of me as a mind consciousness system charging and powering this whole onsciousness systematic reality. The Existence as me is not reflecting who i really am as Life as all as one as equal. This world is a fuck-up because i am a fuck-up. And i did not realize how fucked i am. I pretended that i am good and the world is OK. I pretented that i am doing something and that i am standing up while allowing self-dishonesty to continue. I deliberately ignored the real situation in this world - what others are experiencing physically. I deliberately to exist in my own ignorance, pretending that the suffering in this reality does not exist. I deliberately fucked myself by existing in deliberate ignorance and inconsideration of what is really going on in this world. I spoke empty words that i am all and i am equal while not taking into consideration what others as me is really experiencing physically. If i am all, can i accept the world as it is? Am i willing to exchange situation with othe beings in this world? If not, what am i doing? Am i physically doing something to make a difference or am i still supporting the current situation to continue because i do not want to lose my own self-definition which is not even real? Fuckers denying his own fuckedness is how this fucked-up world is fucked. First step is to realize how fucked i am with absoulte honesty. If i can not see how fucked i am and still pretend that i am OK and this world is OK, i am self-dishonest. Then to terminate myself as a fuck-up and this fucked-up world as me. Terminate myself as a mind consciousness system and terminate the creation as a mind consiousness systematic reality as me. I am the terminator of myself as a mind consciousness system and the world as creation as the systematic reality. I am determination = I deliberately terminate myself as this systematic creation. I deliberately terminate myself as a MCS because i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately become a fucker/deceiver.


I terminate myself because i am not real. Then I give myself the opportunity to birth my real self as Life as all as one as equal.


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Self-forgiveness


Why applying self-forgiveness? For giving self back to self. Because self has become an illusion through self's own acceptance and allowance. Thus self needs to forgive self for what self has accepted and allowed self to become that which is not who self really is as Life as all as one as equal, in order to 'return' to the innocence of who self really is. Self-forgiveness statement "I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself..." is the statement that this is not who i really am but what i have accepted and allowed myself to become which is not real, and i take responsibility to stop such an illusion that i have accepted and allowed myself to become. Self-forgiveness is the self-termination of the illusionary self that self has accepted and allowed self to become.

Then a question arises: if i am not this, who am i really?

Self-statement is a direct statement of who i really am. Who i really am is the living word as the sound harmonic expression of Life as Life as all as one as equal every here moment as breath of Life.Thus self discern/distinguish what is acceptable and what is not acceptable

Yet it is not to separate self from anything. Even those that self is not is through self's own acceptance and allowance, thus it is self's own responsibility to stop it as self and self must stand Here one and equal with all and everything that self has accepted and allowed self to become to be able to direct self effectively.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOLkHWp7CBc&feature=PlayList&p=4085F5DD19D2E78D&index=4



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Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/

Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/


Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/

My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum

My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe
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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Self-Forgiveness on Points Related to a Personality

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a cool Teaching Assistant(TA).




I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to want and desire to be regarded as a cool TA.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel good that those students think me to be cool.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that the students think me to be cool.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of good when I perceive/imagine that those students think me to be cool.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to an energetic charge of feeling.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by energy instead of me standing as the self-directive principle in my world.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the self-definition as a cool TA to gain value and worth –which indicates that I have not accepted value and worth as who I am Here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from value and worth through placing value and worth in a personality definition of being a cool teaching assistant instead of realizing that value and worth as LIFE is here within and as me as who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that who I am is dependent on other people’s feedback on me – if I am more popular, I am becoming something more; if I am less welcome, I am becoming something less.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am according to other people’s feedback on me.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself unconditionally Here as who I am.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to change myself around students to fit into the idea of a cool TA that exist within my mind.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to laugh out of nervousness, to cover my nervousness within communication with other students.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience nervousness within communication with other people.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in nervousness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be the emotion of nervousness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience nervousness and anxiety and uncertainty when not knowing how to handle the situation instead of trusting myself here as myself in every moment of breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in and define myself according to and as nervousness and anxiety and uncertainty.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the thought ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as a thought ‘I can do nothing.’



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior because I believe that ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the situation where I perceive/believe that I cannot handle to exist as a trigger point within me – triggering the thought ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought ‘I can do nothing’ to the situation where I perceive/believe that I cannot handle the situation.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the self-belief that ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought ‘I can do nothing’ to be real and actually live according to it and create and manifest it.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotion of inferiority.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotion of inferiority to the thought ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought ‘I can do nothing’ to the memory of me being a teaching assistant in another course where I felt inferior to another TA because of my ineffectiveness of handling that situation.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief about myself that ‘I can do nothing’ according to my experiences of participation in the educational system after I came to US.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memory of me being a TA with another TA for the course of astronomy where I was ineffective/unstable and felt inferior.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ineffective/unstable/fluttered/inferior/fuck-up/stupid/anger to the memory of being a TA with another TA Wanyu Ye for the course of astronomy.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the words ineffective/unstable/fluttered/inferior/fuck-up/stupid/anger within the memory of being a TA with another TA Wanyu Ye for the course of astronomy.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the words ineffective/unstable/fluttered/inferior/fuck-up/stupid/anger through defining these words within a memory in separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the memory with an emotional energetic reaction of anger and blame.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the construct of anger and blame for my experience of ineffectiveness/instability instead of simply assisting and supporting myself to transform myself and my experience into stability and effectiveness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be reluctant to take responsibility for myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as ineffectiveness/instability due to my judgment, fear and resistance of my participation in the educational system.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my judgment/fear/resistance of participation in the educational system onto reading Desteni materials while it is based on my interpretation and conclusion that are drawn from the materials through my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought ‘I fucking deserve what I experienced. Fuck you.’



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought ‘I fucking deserve what I experienced. Fuck you.’to be who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word responsibility to the thought ‘I fucking deserve what I experienced. Fuck you.’and define the word responsibility within that thought.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto anger and blame within participation in the thought ‘I fucking deserve what I experienced. Fuck you.’- in the form of self-spitefulness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that by saying that ‘I deserve what I experienced’I am not blaming others while the actual fact is that I am still blaming in the form of self-spitefulness – and the word ‘fuck you’ is an obvious indicator of anger/blame/spitefulness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto blame in the form of self-spitefulness so that I can continue to exist as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become instead of assisting and supporting me to take self-responsibility and transform my experience into that which I would actually enjoy rather than the one of anger/blame/self-spitefulness/self-destruction.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in self-spitefulness as a form of punishment of myself and those who I directed my blame towards.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite and destroy myself so that I can continue to blame.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to exist as the construct of blame of self-enslavement.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite and destroy myself instead of transforming/changing myself within seeing the common sense that blame is never going to get me anywhere but self-destruction and self-enslavement.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my self-definition of anger and blame instead of realizing that it does not assist me in any way whatsoever.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought ‘I am willing to’ as a defense mechanism of/from/through my mind of blame.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that thought ‘I am willing to’ as a defense mechanism of/from/through my mind of blame to be who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the inner demon of anger and blame for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become that is not honoring who I really am as LIFE.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest with myself – indicated in the anger that I experience – being angry with myself for not being honest with myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue my existence of self-abuse and self-dishonesty through the construct of blame.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be the construct of blame instead of realizing that it is not who I really am of/as LIFE.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as inferiority and attempt to become superior through becoming the personality of a cool teaching assistant.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I am becoming something more than through becoming a cool TA.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the polarity of superiority/inferiority. I stop. It’s not who I am.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as lack of trust.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself as who I am Here in every moment of breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust into a personality of being a cool teaching assistant.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of me into my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of me into thoughts as what my mind tells me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I cannot trust myself within situations that I have never handled before and perceive/believe that I must trust what my mind tells me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to misplace my trust outside of me separate from me instead of trusting myself here in every moment of breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of me into my past habitual patterns which I have defined as who I am and trusted.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into past memories as how I behaved and acted.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into what I see people around me doing – attempting to copy them as a way to survive in the situation which I perceive/believe that I do not know how to handle.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into people’s feedbacks.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into what I perceive/believe would be acceptable by this world through my mind based on interpretations and assumptions.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into assumptions/interpretations/perceptions/ideas/beliefs/conclusions of/as the mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I can not trust myself and that in order for me to survive in the situation I must trust something that I believe to be more than me – which I believed to be my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my mind to be more trustworthy than myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that my mind is able to help me survive the situation.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior (in fear) to my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my mind to be more than who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by the need to survive – where I placed my trust in the mind, believing it will get me through.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place hope into my mind – hoping my mind to get me through situations that I believe that I cannot handle.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as hope – instead of realizing that hope enslaves me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck myself with hope instead of trusting myself here as the breath of life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in hope.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope situations to get better by itself instead of directing myself to transform/change myself and my world.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a nervous system demon within me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as the nervous system demon that I have created by myself.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to impress the students using words and laughter so that they can accept me as a cool TA – instead of me accepting myself and expression myself as who I am here in breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect students to regard me as a cool TA.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience nervous and anxiety in communication with others because I expected them to see me in a certain way I wanted them to see.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as expectations.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto expectations of students seeing me as being a cool TA.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the self-expectation of being seen as cool.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value and worth in being seen as cool because I have perceived myself to be a boring person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a boring person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word boring with a negative value.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word boring as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word boring through judging it as bad/wrong/negative in separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for my perception that I am a boring person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike myself because I have defined myself as a boring person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as cool/interesting.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have a personality of being cool/interesting/outgoing.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being cool/interesting/outgoing/extroversive as good/positive/right and charge them with a positive value.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the polarity of being boring/reserved/introverted and cool/interesting/outgoing/extroversive





I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that all desires are merely reflections of the core desire for self because I have separated myself from here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from here as the breath of life as who I really am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being less than those people who are perceived to be extroversive, interesting and cool.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for myself outside of myself instead of realizing that I am already here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have ‘lost’ myself – instead of realizing that I am lost in the mind as what I have believed to be who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to find myself outside of myself – instead of realizing and accepting that: I am here.



The following ten self-forgiveness sentences are from the Introduction to Desteni course materials with regards to the point of desire:

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my desires.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly follow my desires, believing that these desires are who I am and that it is my benefit to now act on my desires – when actually desires are merely sexual energy that was transferred into my mind and that such desires exist to distract me from myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from everything and everyone that exists.



I forgive myself that I have ont accepted and allowed myself to accept myself as equal and one as all and everything that exists.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as ‘less than’/’inferior to’ others.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I desire something, it is because I believe that that which I desire can ‘give me’ something, as though that something is not already who I am.



I forgive myself for not accepting myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in nagging feelings of ‘something is wrong’, ‘I am not satisfied’, ‘I am not complete’, ‘I am not fulfilled’ – and to believe such experiences to be real, to be me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need/require to be in a relationship with someone or something in order for me to be complete fulfilled and satisfied with myself.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I am in a relationship, I am still here and I am still me and nothing has actually changed in relation to ‘who I am’.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define expression and joy within beings who are perceived to be interesting/cool/extroversive outside of me separate from me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from expression and joy through defining expression and joy outside of me separate from me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek expression and joy within the personality of being interesting/cool/extroversive – outside of me separate from me.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed expression and joy as me as who I am here as one with me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive and believe that I am able to find expression and joy within becoming a personality of being interesting/cool/extroversive.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that expression and joy is me as who I am – and that I do not need to search them outside of me in separate manifestations.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I am not allowed to have expressions and being joyful.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define any form of expressions as of the mind and of self-dishonesty – thus not allowing myself to have any form of expressions.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself because I have allowed myself to suppress my self-expression.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow my self-expression to flow.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold my self-expression back within the belief that I cannot and I am allowed to have expressions.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the make-belief that if I have any form of expressions I am being self-dishonest and thus in order for me to be self-honest I must suppress any form of expressions that may possibly come out.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse self-expression with emotions and feelings.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to self-expression within emotions and feelings instead of realizing that emotions and feelings are of the mind and is not of who I really am as LIFE.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as suppression of self-expression.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from people who I perceive to be interesting/cool/extroversive through accepting and allowing myself to define my expression within people who I perceive to be interesting/cool/extroversive outside of me separate from me – instead of accepting expression as me as who I am.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to laugh out of personality design from my mind to support my self-dishonesty instead of laughing as an unconditional self-expression.



I forgive myself that i have accetped and allowed myself to laugh as a reaction towards other beings' words which are not even funny.



i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to expect to make fun and react to other people's words.



i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react to other people's words and formed a habitual behavior of laughing and reacting to other people's words which i imagined to be funny while it is not.



I forgive myself that I have not been aware of this pattern because I have accepted it as me to such an extensive extent.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted laughing as unconditional self-expression as who I am.





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I stop the search for and of self – I realize and accept that who I am is here and that I am equal and one to all that is here. I accept and realize that the way to realize self as here equal and one is breathing – focus on my breathing – breathing naturally, being here as self-presence and self-awareness within and as everything I touch.



I accept and realize that expression is one with me as me as who I am here as the breath of life thus I do not need to seek expression outside of me separate from me in a personality defined as being interesting/cool/extroversive.



I accept and realize that anger and blame takes me nowhere but self-destruction and self-enslavement.



I accept effectiveness and stability as who I am.



I do not accept and allow myself to hold onto anger and blame for what I have become.



I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility and transform/change what I have become that is not of who I really am as LIFE and live as effectiveness and stability within and as the breath of LIFE as who I am here.



I use the anger to stand up – to no longer allow myself to continue to exist within and as that which I know is not of who I really am as LIFE – but honor myself as who I really am as LIFE.



I stop the game of inferiority/superiority of polarity.



I do not accept and allow myself to place trust within my mind as thoughts/emotions/feelings/interpretations/perceptions/ideas/belierfs/assumptions/projetions etc outside of me separate from me – I accept and allow trust as me as who I am here as the breath of LIFE – I trust me here as breath within handling a situation that I have not handled before.



I do not accept and allow myself to place my trust in hope – enslaving myself into hope. I accept and allow myself to actually practically transform/change/direct myself and my world as myself.



I do not accept and allow myself to be driven by survival – believing that my mind is able to get me through/survive situations.



I accept and allow myself to trust myself and direct myself in my world in breath when facing a situation – I trust myself to give it direction instead of me being directed by my mind.





I accept and allow expression as me as one with me as who I am Here – not separate from me in something or someone outside of me separate from me.



I accept and allow laughter as me as one with me – not a personality defined reactive habitual behavior.

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Check out the following websites:



Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/



Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/



Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/



My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum



My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe

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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Obligation vs Responsibility

The difference between obligation and responsibility. From my experience, obligation is something that is done with resistance or reluctance while responsibility is self-motivated self directive action - the ability to respond to Self as LIFE.



Life is not an obligation. What is best for all is not an obligation. To do what is best for all is honouring who I really am as Life as all as one as equal - thus no resistance or reluctance. Resistance to what is best for all is indication of self-definitions of self-interest.

The ultimate and only agreement of Life as who I really am as who we really are as the ultimate oneness and equality as all as one as equal is to bring Life itself into living manifestation. This is the inherent nature of Life. Thus we do what is best for all - not out of obligation but out of self-responsibility and self-realization.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define LIFE as an obligation.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist LIFE as who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from LIFE as indicated by the resistance of LIFE.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my mind and believe myself to be the mind which I have accepted as who I am - within this, separating myself from LIFE.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word LIFE through connecting the word obligation to LIFE.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word obligation within the word LIFE - in separation of myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define LIFE as a word which I see through my

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to comprehend LIFE through my mind and give LIFE a definition that I am able to understand through my mind - believing that is LIFE while it is my interpretation of LIFE.


I forgive myself that I have not accepted LIFE as who I am.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that LIFE exist outside of me separate from me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memory when my mother once said 'then you are enslaved by LIFE' - spoken from the starting point of spitefulness.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my mother's words.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I have been influced by my mother's words instead of realizing that I am only able to be influenced if I give it permission.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for my mother's words to influence me - instead of realizing that I have given permission for my own self-enslavement.


I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I may perceive LIFE to be separate from me and get lost in this perception.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect my perception of LIFE to be separate from me and getting lost in such a perception to fear - thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest my fear of being lost in the separation from LIFE through my participation in the mind.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist what is best for all - instead of realizing that I am resisting/denying who I really am as LIFE.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat 'irrelevant' when it comes to what is best for all.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive what is best for all as empty words because I have not yet lived the words as who I am one and equal.


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to substantiate the words what is best for all through living the words as who I am in practical application in my world.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for my ego to take over me through my participation in the backchat 'irrelevant' when it comes to what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define doing what is best for all as an obligation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to my mind telling me that 'I am not interested' - instead of realizing this is me of self-interest of the mind justifying self-interest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify self-interest through participating in the backchat 'I am not interested' when it comes to what is best for all.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn something that I previously would like to do into an obligation which I then resists doing.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define what is best for all as something I am forced to do instead of realizing that what is best for all is the self-directive action of who I really am as LIFE.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought 'I will do whatever it takes to fight against whatever imposed on me'.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the perception that I am being forced to do something even when it is not in fact - but a perception of myself - because of my past experiences when I almost transformed everything I do into a forced action which created extensive resistance.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the bizzare pattern - when I am doing something that I actually enjoy, I then go into the experience of the perception that it is an obligation and then I exist in resistance towards it.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mself to define myself as the pattern of transforming that which I know I would enjoy doing into an obligation which I resist doing.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as the polarity of forcing and resisting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to transform my expression into a forcing/resisting polarity construct.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage that which I enjoy doing through forcing it into an obligation which I resist.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prevent myself from enjoying what I do.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define joy as purely of the mind and that I am not allowed to have any expression of joy.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself for not allowing the expression of joy to flow as me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create such a definition of suffering when doing what I do.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the pattern of suffering when doing what I do.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my past expreiences when I did not allow myself to enjoy what I do.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create such a perception/interpretation that I am not allowed to enjoy doing anything that is directly Desteni related - within this deliberately making my experience of participation in my world difficult when it is completely unnecessary.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself for deliberately making my epxerience difficult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to act like a big boss over my shoulder - telling me what to do - judging and talking bullshit.


I forgive myself that I hae accepted and allowed myself to exist in the delusion that I am being forced to do everything and resist extensively because of this delusion/interpretation that I created by myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself while I created and manifested these experiences as myself through my acceptance and allowance.


Self-suggestion:
Stop the perception of being forced to do everything. Stop the perception that what I do is an obligation and thus existing in resistance. Stop the 'forcing' action in polarity to 'resistance' when what I do does not require being forced. Allow myself to enjoy myself. Enjoy what I truly enjoy doing.

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Check out the following websites:


Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/


Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/


Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/


My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum

My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe

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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Alignment in the Process

A really fascinating post on the Desteni forum: http://desteni.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?f=80&t=13149

Who I really am is Life as all as one as equal. It is my responsibility to honour myself as LIFE. How to honour who I really am as Life? To do what is best for all in every moment of every breath.

As I see currently the most effective applications that assists and supports myself in honouring myself as Life is: application of Breath awareness + What is best for all in my current situation specifically within the education system.

I have been struggling in establishing myself here as breath consistently. Why? I have realized that I have not been effective in being self-disciplined in assisting and supporting myself to live as breath within awareness - not realizing that in my action of not applying myself with self-discipline I am not only prolonging my own process but also prolonging process of all as one - I am not only responsible for myself but all as one as Self.

I am able to have access to Desteni materials. However, there are also many others who do not even have an opportunity to access these materials, such as those in China Mainland. Thus what is my responsibility? To assist and support myself to stand up as Life and be effective in assisting and supporting myself first to be able to assist and support all others as myself to stand up for Self as LIFE. What is best for all from my specific placement in this world? Have I realized my specific placement in this process? I grew up in China and I know both English and Chinese. As I see currently through assessment of my background and situation, I will contribute most (eventually) in China in this process of bringing Heaven on Earth through the establishment of the Equal Money System. So this is my responsibility in the process. This is my alignment with the Process. This is my responsibility towards who I really am as LIFE. This is the part that I need to bring in this Process. If I do not bring my part, I am dishonouring who I really am as Life as all as one as equal!

My process is not all about me as an individual being, but about who I really am as Life as all as one as equal. I am not only responsible in my onw process, but also responsible in the Process of all realizing self as LIFE one and equal. Within perceiving/believing that this process is about me as an individual and not taking my responsibility as all as one as equal as Life, I then exist in self-dishonesty - dishonouring who I really am as Life as all as one as equal. No individual free will and free chocie. Free will and free choice is the justification of self-dishonesty/self-interest/spitefulness.

Am I being self-disciplined? Am I assiting and supporting myself diligently and effectively? Am I doing what is best for all in every moment of every breath? No, there are aspects in my world where I can assist and support myself to be more effective. Why don't I assist and support myself to be diligent, effective and specific? Why do I indulge in my mind? Why do i give my power away to my mind? Why do I allow my mind to direct me instead of me directing myself? Why do I allow myself to give into limitation? Why do I still indulge in self-interest?

Dishonouring who I really am as Life as all as one as equal can not be tolerated! If I do not bring my part and honour who I really am as Life as all as one as equal, I will be replaced and removed according to my acceptance and allowance. It is simple equation. Get your ass in gears! Stop the daydreaming! Come on man! Don't you see what the fuck you are doing? You! Wake up! Take self-responsibility and Live!

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The above is a revision of a blog post that I publised on my Chinese blog on JULY-16-2009 which I am now moving here to this English blog.
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Check out the following websites:
Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/


Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/


Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/


My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum


My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe
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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Stability in Removing Polarity

I was confused when I heard that I am required to release polarity, such as good/bad, right/wrong, positive/negative. How can I live without them? This question itself indicates that I have lived according to polarities, with which I used to define what is acceptable and what is not acceptable - the good/right/positive is acceptable and the bad/wrong/negative is unacceptable - particularly in the construct of morality as morality is based on polarity. The result of living according to polarity is seeking/desiring good/right/positive while repeling/rejecting/resisting/denying the bad/wrong/negative. I feared that if I were to release the polarity construct, I would have no reference as to what is acceptable what is unacceptable. I applied self-forgiveness to release the polarity construct with such a hidden fear. And the result is that I created/manifested such a fear where I had no reference of deciding what is acceptable and what not - thus I was very unstable and struggled a lot.



Also there was the perception/idea/belief that if something is not good, it must be bad and thus unacceptable and if something is not bad, it must be good and thus acceptable. This polarity flipping also manifested - I turned myself into the complete opposite of what I lived before. After applying self-forgiveness for the positive, they are no loger the positive. Now my mind tried to fathom what it is from the starting point of polarity. The mind only knows positive/good/right and negative/bad/wrong. If it is not positive, it must be negative. If it is negative, it is bad - thus it is unacceptable. After applying self-forgivenss for the negative, they are no longer the negative. By my mind - if it is not negative, it must be positive. If it is positive, it is good - thus it is acceptable. This way I turned what I lived before into the complete opposite - yet still existing in polarities. Later on I realized this situation. I again applied self-forgiveness and the polarity turned over again - but still in polarities. Then I applied self-forgiveness for both polarities at the same time. My mind then ended up in total confusion. What the fuck is it if it is neither positive nor negative? lol



Now I've realized that the problem is that I have relied on polarity to decide what to accept and allow and what not. Within applying self-forgiveness to release definitions of polarity, I 'lost' the principle to live by. I did not undersatnd that what is acceptable and what is unacceptable can be determined from a principle that is not of polarity - the Principle of Equality and Oneness as Life as All as One as Equal - that which supports LIFE as what is Best for All practically is acceptable, that which does not support LIFE or what is Best for All is unacceptable. What is Best for All is not of polarity. LIFE is not of polarity.


Another idea that I created within my mind is that discernment is of polarity. Obiviously there is a discernment between self-honesty and self-dishonesty. There is no half measure between self-honesty and self-dishonesty. The question is why can't we just regard self-dishonesty and self-honesty as a pair of polarity and define self-honesty as good and self-honesty as bad? Isn't it just another form of re-definition?


Polarity exists as consciousness and supports the mind. When existing in polarity, the negative/bad/wrong is judged/denied/resisted. If I define self-dishonesty as bad, I will judge/deny/resist self-dishonesty, which is separation. In this process I can not separate myself from the self-dishonesties that I have accepted and allowed - I can not judge/deny/resist self-dishonesty although self-dishonesty is unacceptable. Why? The existence of self-dishonesty is through my acceptance and allowance - self-dishonesty is what I have accepted and allowed myself to become and thus I am responsible for its existence. Within defining self-dishonesty as bad and judging/denying/resisting it, I am separating myself from what I have accepted and allowed myself to become, abdicating self-responsibility, and thus having no power to stop/change/transform myself of self-dishonesty. Only when I take self-responsibility and stand one and equal with the self-dishonesties that I have accetped and allowed myself to become, do I have to the power to transform/purify it within the understanding that it is unacceptable because it is not who I really am as Life.


Another perspective about the statement that self-honesty and self-dishonesty is not a polarity pair is that self-honesty is not dependent on self-dishonesty. Self can exist in pure self-honesty without self-dishonesty. The existence of self-honesty is not dependent on the existence of self-dishonesty.


Life has always been here. Life is not dependent on Consciousness. Life is absolute. While in polarity the polar opposites are interdependent on each other to exist. Life is what is real while consciouseness is illusionary. What is real is not dependent on what is illusionary. The illusion can be eliminated/purified entirely. Life does not need consciousness to contrast its existence. Life is.



The solution is to remove/release polarity constructs within the absolute standing of/as Life as all as one as equal and state clearly what is accepatable and what is not acceptable according to what supports Life as what is best for all and what not. Thus release mind consciousness system construct and stand up as Life at the same time. The removal of consciousness/self-dishonesty and the standing up as Life within self-honesty is the same process. The Principle of Equality and Oneness as Life as all as one as equal is the stability point when all that has ever been known of self-dishonesty/the mind consciousness system crumble in applying self-forgiveness and the unkown as Life steps forth and is born from the physical.


Self is not Life currently but in the process of birthing Life. Self purifies self's self-dishonesty within and as self-honesty until all self-dishonesty is purified and Life is born from the physical. Self-honesty: Honor Self as LIFE.

"To stand as the Principle of Equality and Oneness Here – and stand as the living-statement of what self will accept and allow and what not."


Then it is to live what is acceptable and what is not acceptable PRACITALLY AND SPECIFICALLY within one's everday life every moment as every breath where self has true power.
So what can I do in my everyday life to assist and support myself? The following are some points that I have identified within myself and my world:


Bring myself here as breath whenever I go up into my mind.


Be aware of what is here - what I see what I hear what I smell what I taste what I touch within awareness that all is me. -- Be one and equal with the entire moment.


Observe/study myself as a mind consciousness system as thoughts, emotions, feelings, reactive behaviors, personalities, habits etc,-- the whole package of my self-definition as a MCS.



Stop participating in my mind as thoughts, emotions and feelings.


Apply the tools of self-forgiveness, self-corrective action, breathing and writing.



Discipline myself to be specific and practical.

Read/study materials of destni to assist and support self-awareness, self-realization.


Push myself through limitations/boundaries.


Stop existing in seclusion.


Participate actively in my everyday life to apply practically self forgiveness and what I have realized.


Express myself within self-honesty and self-trust. Point out self-dishonesties that I see in other beings, assisting and supporting other beings one and equal with me as me.


Design/develop practical solutions in my everyday life to assist and support myself to be effective.


Stop buying all unnecessary stuffs.


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The above is a modified version of two blog posts that I publised on my Chinese blog on JULY-08-2009 and JULY-10-2009 which I am now moving here to this English blog.


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Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/


Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/


Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/


My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum

My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe

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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Experiences of the Mind vs of the Physical

How to distinguish when I am of my mind from when I am of the physical? I have experienced both - of my mind and of the physical. These two kinds of experiences are very distinctive. I have been 'oscillating' between the two 'modes' of experiences for months. There are some indicators that I have identified to assist me in distinguishing these two 'modes'.

The experience of being of the mind is what I spent most of my life in. I have been so accustomed/used to such a mode that I've perceived it to be normal. Some characteristics of the mode of being of my mind are:


Having no self-discipline, self-intimacy, self-committment and self-dedication
Existing in self-interest. Participating in thoughts/emotions/feelings.
Repetitive thoughts especially those that generate fears.
The mind is flooded with thoughts. The head is heavy.
Being ineffective in my everyday participation. Not being in tune with the physical.
Seclusion. No intimacy with self and other beings as self.
Anger, disgust, frustration, irritation, judgement, resistance, denial, fear, anxiety, powerlessness, helplessness, polarity, comparison, competition, wanting to be superior, self-pity





The experience of being one and equal with the physical is very different from that when I am lost in my mind. The first time I experienced it I perceived it to be something 'magical' or 'paranormal', becasue it is so different from what I've always experiecned myself to be of my mind. There was a period of time when I doubted this experience because another person told me that it was of the mind and I did not trust myself and just simply believed what person said must be true. What happened then was that I got lost in the backchat that was constantly and continuously telling me that that which I experienced different from what I usually experienced was still all of my mind. I remember there was a moment when I was so annoyed by the backchat that I said with anger/frustration to my mind something like 'OK. I give it up. Now you are satisfied?' That's how I allowed the backchat within my mind to direct me - believing that self-experience of who I am as the physical to be of my mind, being persuaded by mind to leave it, and 'coming back to' my 'normal' way of experiencing myself which is actually of my mind.


Some characteristics of the 'mode' of being of the physical:


The words I speak is in tune with my human physical body. When I speak aloud, the words actually resonate with my whole human physical body. I can experience my whole human physical body to be acting as some form of instrument, resonating/vibrating as the words flow out aloud. This happens particularly when I stay alone in my dorm speaking self-forgiveness aloud. The resonation can actually become so intense that not only my human physical body but also the whole room is able to resonate together with my words. It is fascinating.


When I am expierencing myself of the physical, I become more intimate with the physical reality - what I see such as trees or the wind or whatever of the physical is of LIFE and there is an intimacy - I do not see this reality as separate from me - there is no 'walls' between me and this reality as what I usually experience myself to be when I am lost in my mind. I recognize the physical reality one and equal with me as me.



When I am one and equal with my human physical body - I am aware of my human physical body; I am aware of the movement of my human physical body; I am aware of what I touch - what I touch is me, the whole existence is me. I experience intimacy with whatever I touch, be it water, pillow, bed, chair, keyboard, computer, pencil, flower, etc - quite different from what I experience when I am in my mind.


When I am in tune with my human physical body, I am also in tune with my physical environment. I am one and equal with the moment that I experince myself in my physical environment. What steps forth as such an experience is clarity - I can see direct in the moment and act accordingly. Thus my participation in my world is also very effective.

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The above is a modified version of a blog post that I publised on my Chinese blog on JULY-06-2009 which I am now moving here to this English blog.


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Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/

Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/

Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/

My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum


My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe
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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.