Self-Forgiveness on Perceptual Reality of the Mind

Note: The following Self-Forgiveness is based on an article that I posted on my Chinese blog on October 15, 2009.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define reality according to what i perceive through my mind within the condition of my self-definition.








I forgive myself that i have not allowed mself to realize that my mind filters information deliberately according to self-definition.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that what i perceive through my mind is not the true expression of the reality.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that what i perceived through my mind is real and that reality is just perceptions that exists within my mind.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define what is real as the perceptions/ideas/beliefs that i have formed and created within my mind as my self-definition.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define existence as what exists within my mind as perceptions/ideas/beliefs, and created such a belief that whatever does not exist within my mind does not actually exist.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that whatever does not come into mind/enter into my consciousness does not exist.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form perceptions/ideas/beliefs about reality, and project my perceptions/beliefs/ideas onto the physical reality, perceiving/believing them to be real expressions of reality.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify the existence of perceptual reality and the apparent diversity of perceptual realities.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto my perceptions/ideas/beliefs because i have defined myself as them and fear losing them.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my perceptions/ideas/beliefs within my mind.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect losing my perceptions/ideas/beliefs within my mind to fear - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that whatever i fear losing is not real, who i really am as LIFE can not actually be lost - only illusions can be lost.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to filter information/perceive reality through my mind/my self-definition, ignoring deliberately what do not fit into my perceptions/ideas/beliefs of/as the mind.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that i have built layers upon layers upon layers of self-definitions through perceiving that which only support my self-definitions and ignoring deliberately that does not support my self-defintions.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ignore deliberately that which i do not want to see/hear - perceiving/believing that by ignoring them they then do not exist.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that by perceiving reality through my mind, I am not actually standin one and equal with reality.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist in oblivion to what is really going on in reality by using my mind to perceive reality, creating perceptions/ideas/beliefs of the physical reality which is not what the physical reality really is and is not what is really going on in this world.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself by defining myself as my mind, and trusting my mind to perceive and interprete myself and the world as myself for me.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that i have the right to believe whatever i want to believe and that this is my free will/free choice to do so - instead of realizing that I am actually existing as a slave to my mind while believing myself to be free.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that i have the right to interprete the reality at my own will, instead of realizing that I am actually justifying my illusionary perceptual reality of/as the mind.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in self-deception by living in my mind illusionary perceptual reality, perceiving/interpreting reality through my mind consciousness system according to my self-definitions created through thoughts/emotions/feelings/perceptions/ideas/beliefs.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself to believe that everything in this world is OK and that this world should continue to exist as it is, by deliberately ignoring the suffering and pains of other beings in this world.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i have the right to not see/face/consider the abuse, sufferings and pains in this world.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge abuse/sufferings/pains as bad - within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from abuse/sufferings/pains in this world - instead of standing one and equal with them and stop them.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i can do nothing about the sufferings and pains of other beings so i will simply ignore them--pretending that they do not exist so that i can continue my own illusionary life.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give up who i really am and exist as self-defeat by perceiving that i can do nothing to make a difference but to pretend that they do not exist.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as self-defeat/powerlessness/helplessness/giving up/abdication of self-responsibility.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have become numb to reports of murdings/killings/rapes/abuses/kidnappings/wars etc on newspapers, perceiving/believing that they are so far away from me and that as long as i am OK i will ignore them.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the sufferings and pains of other beings as long as they do not influence me.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that i can do nothing about what is happening in this world and i will just ignore it as long as it does not influence me.







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that by disregarding everything in this physical reality I have disregarded myself as LIFE.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard LIFE - disregard other beings that exist in this physical reality.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that it is normal to have such reports as murdings/killings/kidnappings/rapes/abuses/wars etc, and justify the existence of such manifestations of abuse of Life.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that whatever i did not see/hear/feel/experience do not exist, such as the slaughtering of animals, the raping of children, wars -- from the perspective of my mind, they seem to be so far away from me that i do not feel them so they do not exist.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to disregard deliberately the sufferings and pains in other beings by saying i do not feel like bothering myself to see/face such horrific manifestations - instead of realizing that I am actually resisting to see/face myself as what I have accepted and allowed, created and manifested within and as this world as who I am.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify the manifestation of abuses in this reality.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from other beings by existing in deliberate ignorance of what is actually going on in this world and what beings are actually experiencing.







I forgive msyelf that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to see the truth of this reality by deliberately ignoring that which i perceive to be uncomfortable because i know if i really see what is going on in this world i can not stand with what I am accepting and allowing.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify the continuatioin of abuse in this reality by ignoring them deliberately.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself realize that sufferings and pains are physical experiences that are real -- they are not perceptions/ideas/beliefs that exist in the mind.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the physical reality and ignore what is actually going on and being experienced in the physical reality.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to pretend that sufferings and pains do not exist, by being addicted to and lost in my mind perceptual reality -- not even able to discern between what is real and what is not real.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify sufferings and pains by perceiving/believing that those beings deserve to experience those sufferings and pains as a punishement.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as my self-defintion as the perception/idea/belief that beings deserve to experience sufferings and pains. Unacceptable!







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to sufferings and pains in other beings by saying that "i do not feel like seeing these sufferings and pains which make me uncomfortable"--self-dishonesty. Unacceptable!







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that by disregarding the rest of the world, i have given permission of disregard of who i really am as Life.







Till here no further! Stop! No longer valid! I do not accept myself to justify my mind/self-definitions/perceptual reality/perceptions/ideas/beliefs. No justification of abuses/pains/sufferings. No! Stop!







I am here as breath as the quantum moment as Life as all as one as equal as the living word as the sound harmonic expression.







I transform myself in each and every single breath as each and every single moment till the abuse, sufferings and pains stop within me and within this world as me!







No more ignorace of what is really going on in this world. No more hiding in my mind perceptual reality!







Till here no further!

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Check out the following websites:


Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/

Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/

Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/


My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum


My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe
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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Idea of Self-honesty and Self-dishonesty

Note: The following self-forgiveness is an expansion of those that I published on my Chinese blog on October 03, 2009.


What i have realized is that self-honesty can be designed and developed into an ideas as the polar opposite of the idea of self-dishonesty.








I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form an idea of self-honesty, designing self-idea into an idea which is not lived but merely exist as knowledge and information.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to design self-honesty into the polar opposite of the idea of self-dishonesty.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as an idea of self-honesty which I have created within my mind, perceiving/believing myself to be self-honest while not actually applying/living self-honesty.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i have already become self-honest and that i am self-honest while it is but a perception/idea/belief within my mind and not the actuality of living application.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the idea of self-honesty which I have created within my mind to protect and hide the actual truth of me as the self-dishonesty that I have accepted and allowed.







I forgive myself that i have accetped and allowed myself to perceive/believe that i am self-honest and there is not much self-dishonesty within me so that i do not need to be diligent within deprogramming myself and releasing myself from the definition of my mind consciousness system.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that i am self-honest and that all the people around me in my world are all but fucked-up mind consciousness systems living in hypnosis.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel special/superior because i am participating in the process with awareness.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself to be more than people around me because aparently i believe myself to be self-honest while all the people around me are all self-dishonest fuck-ups.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that i am the only one that is sober while all others are in hynosis.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have known THE truth and that I am fucking enlightened.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that i have the right to judge "the fucked-up mind consciousness systems" around me.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in judgment of people in their own processes.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obsessed with the idea that people around me are all fucked-up systems instead of realizing I am actually seeing how fucked I am because I did not even see that but existing in a delusion about myself.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I must withdraw myself from participation and interaction with all the people within my world because apparently they are all self-dishonest fucked-up systems.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in the polar opposite of the ideas that I have projected onto people within my world as self-dishonest fucked-up systems while me existing in the idea of me being self-honest.







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the idea that I have projected onto other people is actually a reflection about myself.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in comparison and competition with people around me and create an idea about myself as being more than while regarding people around me as being less than.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel miserable that i am alone with the realization that we are fucked-up mind consciousness systems and that i have to live in the system full of fucked-up systems.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge/deny/resist the system - instead of taking self-responsibility and make a difference in this world through assisting and supporting myself to change myself and live the change in my world as an example.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to claim that "I am self-honest. You are all self-dishonest. You are all fucked-up."







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought 'you are all fucked-up' to be real and to be me speaking instead of realizing that it is a thought.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by a thought within my mind.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by a belief that I have constructed within my mind which I have believed to be real.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to communicate/interact with other people because i fear that i may be contaminated/influenced by their "fucked-up systems".







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that nobody/nothing can actually influence me unless I give it permission.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being contaminated/influenced by fucked up systems to fear - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect communicating/interacting with other people to fear - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that by holding myself back from communicating/interacting with other people in my world - I am actually preventing myself from facing myself.







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that facing myself is here in every moment - not having to hold myself back so that I can focus on myself or going out there so that I can apparently face myself - no, facing self is here in every moment of every breath - no matter where I am and with whom I am.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as fucked-up systems within this defining myself as the polar opposite idea of self-honesty and perceive/believe that i need to seclude myself from communicating/interacting with the system and other people in order to prevent me from being influenced/contaminated - which is actually protecting the idea I have created about myself as apparently being self-honest.







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am actually protecting the idea I have created about as being apparently self-honest while actually hiding the actual truth of me as being self-dishonest through preventing me from interacting with people in my world out of fear.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by fear instead of being Here directing myself.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word self-honesty to the word self-dishonesty.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to define the word self-honesty in polarity to the word self-dishonesty.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word self-honesty and self-dishonesty through defining the word self-honesty in polarity to the word self-dishonesty in separation of myself.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist in judgement/denial/resistance toward self-dishonesty/system - instead of realizing the judgment is actually the act of fear.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge/deny/resist what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a mind consciousness system.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed fear myself as a system of self-dishonesty.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect myself as a system of self-dishonesty to fear - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.







i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that i may be discovered to be self-dishonest because i feared to be judged instead of realizing that self-judgement is actually protecting the self-dishonesty within me.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to connect me being discovered to be self-dishonest to fear - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to present myself as the polar opposite of self-dishonesty and live out my self-definition as an idea of self-honesty formed, developed and created through/with/as my mind.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i need to present myself to be self-honest instead of living self-honesty in fact.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to present self-honesty to the world out there somewhere - instead of realizing that that is not actual self-honesty from the starting point of self as who I am.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to misplace my starting point out there somewhere - instead of realizing that this process is for me as me as from me as the starting point of me as who I am.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to perceive/believethat I am able to prove to other people or the world that I am self-honest - instead of living who I am as the self-proof of who I am - it is not about proving anything to anybody; it is about who I am.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to put on the personality suit as the idea about myself being self-honest to protect the actual self-dishonesty within.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed to embrace me unconditionally including self-dishonesty which i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, within this embracing to transform/change/stop the self-dishonesty that I have accepted and allowed.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to see with self-honesty what i have accepted and allowed within me.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that judgement/denial/resistance of self-dishonesty and the presentation of me as the idea of self-honesty is preventing me from facing what i have accepted and allowed within me and is prolonging my own process of self-realization as who I am as LIFE of oneness and equality.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use excuses/reasons/justifications to prevent me from seeing the truth of me as my nature/beingness as what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become of self-dishonesty as the mind.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be reluctant to face the self-dishonesty that i have accetped and allowed.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape from what i have acccepted and allowed within me instead of assisting and supporting myself to stand up, take self-responsibility and stop my existence as self-dishonesty as what i have always been.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with beings around me and feel good about me because i believe myself to be self-honest while all other people are self-dishonest.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of good for the idea of me being apparently self-honest.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to place value and worth in an idea of me being self-honest - in separation of myself.







I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to accept the word self-honesty as who I am and live as the word self-honesty.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be so chickshitted to face what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become that i wanted to use all kinds excuses/reasons/justifications to not face myself and take self-responsibility.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about myself when i see the self-dishonesty that i have accepted and allowed.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to judge self-dishonesty as bad.







I forgive myelf that I have accpeted and allowed myself to charge self-dishonesty with a negative value.







I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to separate myself from self-dishonesty through judging it as bad.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i have the choice to not see/face the self-dishonesty that i have accepted and allowed.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form an idea about myself as being self-honest and hold onto the self-definition of me being self-honest which is an illusion protecting the real truth as self-dishonesty within me.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not want to see my self-dishonesty which means not wanting to take self-responsibility for what i have accepted and allowed.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use free will/free choice as excuses/justifications/reasons to not face the self-dishonesty i have accepted and allowed and continue to exist as and protect the self-dishonesty, which is perpetuating the world to exist as it currently exist which is a fuck-up.







I forigive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ignore deliberately my self-dishonesty instead of facing myself with brutal self-honesty, embracing what i have become and stopping it completely.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out self-deception as the personality suit as the idea of self-honesty which i have created within my mind.







Till here no further!!!











I stop my self-definition as the personality suit of the idea of self-honesty which is protecting the self-dishonesty within me.







I do not accept and allow myself to hide behind an idea of self-honesty which I created within my mind to protect my self-definitions of/as the mind.







I accept and allow myself to stop my knowledge/information/idea/belief about self-honesty and actually live self-honesty within practical application as who I am.







I do not accept and allow myself to judge beings around me as fucked-up mind consciousness systems which only support my own self-definition as the polar opposite as the idea of self-honesty which i hold onto and to protect the truth of me as self-dishonesty.







I do not accept and allow myself to project the truth of me as fucked-up systems onto others.







I do not accept and allow myself to live in the illusion/delusion of me being apparently self-honest while all others are self-dishonest fucked-up systems.







I do not accept and allow myself to escape/hide from what I have accepted and allowed as who I am.







I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility and correct myself and chage/transform myself so that I no longer continue to exist within and as that which I have always existed as - of/as the mind of self-dishonesty.







I do not accept and allow myself to use self-judgment as a means to protect my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty.

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Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/


Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/


Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/


My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum


My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe


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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Masturbation Experiment

Note: the following is based on an article I published in my Chinese blog on Octobor 02, 2009, which I am now moving here to my English blog with some modifications.


Here is a post on the forum about masturbation experiment: http://desteni.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?f=151&t=12756

I did the masturbation experiement suggested in that thread.

In one previous article i have already said that i had an addiction to masturbation. My experience is mostly energy based, so what i am actually addicted to is energy. This time I masturbated differently as an experiment to test out what i really experience within myself.

I masturbated with my eyes open and with me being aware of my breath. I did not accept myself to participate in the mind virtual reality using pictures and fantacies to stimulate myself as i used to do. When any picture or fantacy came up in my mind or i began to feel energized, i breathed and stopped them. I focused on the physical touch of my hand with my penis rather than participating in my mind. What i found is fascinating. It became very difficult to get an orgasm because i did not experience energy as i used to do. I tried very hard to rub my penis with my hand, but even getting an erection was not that easy. I stopped several times with my penis becoming soft without stimulation of pictures and fantacies and I felt a little frustrated that i could not get an orgasm. The desire to reach the orgasm was prominent. However hard i tried it just did not come easy. Also because there was no energy build-up, the experience of me in every moment was not much dependent on previous moments. Each moment is a new moment that is not the result of energy built up from previous moments. I tried almost half an hour to finally be able to ejaculate. While my experience thereof was not a releasing of energy built-up but an experience of flowing which is not very 'high'. lol. Through this experience, I did not experience my heartbeat or blood pressure going up as i used to in mind-masturbation experiences.

What does this experiment tell me? The question to ask is where was i when i used to masturbate? Definitely not here as the physical touch but up there in my mind virtual reality, charging the pictures and fantacies to build up energy to reach the final ultimate release as an euphoric energetic orgasm. In other words I was literally mind-fucking myself. It is really bizzare, isn't it? Why does it work this way that when i am here touching me, the experience of me is not me being here but somewhere in my mind? Why do i need pictures and fantacies to get an orgasm? Why am I unable to experience that ultimate euphoria energetic orgasm without participation in pictures and fantacies? What are pictures and fantacies for? Why am I dependent on pictures and fantaciees to experience myself? Why am I dependent on energy? WHY AM I NOT HERE?

When i used to masturbate, i was not doing the actual physical masturbation but masturbating in my mind, building up energy through participating in thoughts/picutres/emotions/feelings, charging/rejuvenating my mind consciousness system within me which i have defined as who i am. That is the nature of mind masturbation. I never experienced masturbation as an unconditional self-expression before.

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Check out the following websites:


Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/


Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/


Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/


My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum


My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe
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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Experiences of the Mind vs of the Physical

How to distinguish when I am of my mind from when I am of the physical? I have experienced both - of my mind and of the physical. These two kinds of experiences are very distinctive. I have been 'oscillating' between the two 'modes' of experiences for months. There are some indicators that I have identified to assist me in distinguishing these two 'modes'.

The experience of being of the mind is what I spent most of my life in. I have been so accustomed/used to such a mode that I've perceived it to be normal. Some characteristics of the mode of being of my mind are:


Having no self-discipline, self-intimacy, self-committment and self-dedication
Existing in self-interest. Participating in thoughts/emotions/feelings.
Repetitive thoughts especially those that generate fears.
The mind is flooded with thoughts. The head is heavy.
Being ineffective in my everyday participation. Not being in tune with the physical.
Seclusion. No intimacy with self and other beings as self.
Anger, disgust, frustration, irritation, judgement, resistance, denial, fear, anxiety, powerlessness, helplessness, polarity, comparison, competition, wanting to be superior, self-pity





The experience of being one and equal with the physical is very different from that when I am lost in my mind. The first time I experienced it I perceived it to be something 'magical' or 'paranormal', becasue it is so different from what I've always experiecned myself to be of my mind. There was a period of time when I doubted this experience because another person told me that it was of the mind and I did not trust myself and just simply believed what person said must be true. What happened then was that I got lost in the backchat that was constantly and continuously telling me that that which I experienced different from what I usually experienced was still all of my mind. I remember there was a moment when I was so annoyed by the backchat that I said with anger/frustration to my mind something like 'OK. I give it up. Now you are satisfied?' That's how I allowed the backchat within my mind to direct me - believing that self-experience of who I am as the physical to be of my mind, being persuaded by mind to leave it, and 'coming back to' my 'normal' way of experiencing myself which is actually of my mind.


Some characteristics of the 'mode' of being of the physical:


The words I speak is in tune with my human physical body. When I speak aloud, the words actually resonate with my whole human physical body. I can experience my whole human physical body to be acting as some form of instrument, resonating/vibrating as the words flow out aloud. This happens particularly when I stay alone in my dorm speaking self-forgiveness aloud. The resonation can actually become so intense that not only my human physical body but also the whole room is able to resonate together with my words. It is fascinating.


When I am expierencing myself of the physical, I become more intimate with the physical reality - what I see such as trees or the wind or whatever of the physical is of LIFE and there is an intimacy - I do not see this reality as separate from me - there is no 'walls' between me and this reality as what I usually experience myself to be when I am lost in my mind. I recognize the physical reality one and equal with me as me.



When I am one and equal with my human physical body - I am aware of my human physical body; I am aware of the movement of my human physical body; I am aware of what I touch - what I touch is me, the whole existence is me. I experience intimacy with whatever I touch, be it water, pillow, bed, chair, keyboard, computer, pencil, flower, etc - quite different from what I experience when I am in my mind.


When I am in tune with my human physical body, I am also in tune with my physical environment. I am one and equal with the moment that I experince myself in my physical environment. What steps forth as such an experience is clarity - I can see direct in the moment and act accordingly. Thus my participation in my world is also very effective.

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The above is a modified version of a blog post that I publised on my Chinese blog on JULY-06-2009 which I am now moving here to this English blog.


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Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/

Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/

Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/

My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum


My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Practical Living Principle

A summary of the 'creation' process of illusions from an article by Desteni:

separation -> relationship -> self-analyzation -> interpretation -> perception -> idea -> belief -> illusionary reality within -> projection -> illusion reality without

The created result is layers upon layers of illusions both within and without.
Creation has become illusions layers upon layers. The illusion which is the mind is destroying the physical reality that which real - that is what we have accepted and allowed. Ironic, isn't it?


What is Self? Self is all and everything in this existence. All that exists is self. The inner reality is one and equal with the outer reality. What I accept and allow to exist within me create and manifest what exists without - one and equal. That which exists within and as this world which is actually me is existing within and as me. Thus BOTH the inner reality AND the outer reality are me. The concept of self that is interpreted/perceived to be separate from the outer manifestations within this world is false.

I can not judge the outer manifestation of murder, rape, war, child abuse, violence, starvation, control, enslavement, etc. Why? Because they are me. These manifestations exist because they exist within me as me through my acceptance and allowance. They are unable to manifest if they did not exist within me. Thus I am responsible for the outer manifestation in this world. If I judge/deny/resist the outer manifestations, I am separating my inner reality as me from the outer manifestation which is me. Within separation, I have given my power away to that which I have separated myself from and thus become less than that which I have created and have no power to direct creation as myself. Judgement/denial/resistance is abdication of self-responsibility - it is not seeing/understanding/realising that what I judge/deny/resist is actually me through my acceptance and allowance to exist within me as me and manifested without one and equal - thus I am responble.

The question that should be asked is whether the current manifestations in this existence as it currently exists acceptable? The obvious answer is no. The current 'creation' is atrocious to say the least. It is a disgrace to even call it creation - murder, rape, war, child abuse, violence, starvation, enslavement, deception... The current world is a fuck-up. That is a fact. It is delusional and is a serious mental disease to believe that everything is just fine. But I can not judge the fuck-up that which we call creation as judgment is separation and abdication of self-responsibility. Taking self-responsibility within realising that I have accepted and allowed myself to become this fucked-up existence and it is unaccpetable and that I must stop the fuck-up which is me through stopping myself from continuing to create such a fuck-up.

Since the current manifestation as self is a fucked-up existence and unacceptable and must stop, what is acceptable then? What do I accept and allow and what do I not accept and allow? What is the principle that determines/discerns what can be accepted and allowed and what can not be accepted and allowed? See, all and everything is me. The simple question to ask is - Am I able to allow a part of me as me to be more than another part of me as me? Can I allow a part of me to benefit at the cost of other's suffering? Definitely not! All is me. All is One. One equals One. All are Equal. The principle is Equality and Oneness as Life as All as One as Equal. The principle is who we really are! Who we really are is the standing and becoming of the principle of Equality and Oneness as Life as all as one as equal. The living self directive principle of Equality and Oneness as Life as All as One as Equal determines what I will accept and allow and what I will not accept and allow. The common sensical to ask is : How can I allow myself to NOT be who I really am? Why would I? That would surely indicate I have become lost then, wouldn't it?

Now the Living Self Directive Principle of Equality and Oneness as Life as all as one as equal has been established. It is to live the Principle PRACTICALLY. Practicality is a point that I have not yet fully lived as an expression of/as myself. What it actually means is still for me to investigate and discover. According to my understanding in the moment, one 'dimension' of practicality is to take into consideration the situations/conditions of the physical reality - for example, we require food, water, clothes, shelter etc to live in this physical reality and we require an income to get all these necessary resoureces. The physical is real. We have to consider how Equality and Oneness is to be lived in this physical reality - not in a mental projected reality where one can simply imagine things that have no relevance to the physical. To be more specific, the physical reality that I am interacting with is through my everday -life participation. So the specific practical application of the principle of Equality and Oneness is within my everyday life - to find practical solutions that align my world with this principle. I must first work with myself, purify myself and apply myself in my everyday life.

The Principle of Equality and Oneness as Life as All as One as Equal is not an abstract concept to be comprehended by/through the mind, instead it is to be lived as SELF PRACTICALLY HERE in this PHYSICAL Reality in every moment of every breath.

The specific application of the principle every moment as every breath is described in this article: Practically Creating The World as Acceptable to ALL http://desteni.co.za/a/practically-creating-the-world-as-acceptable-to-all

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The above is a modification and expansion of a blog post that I publised on my Chinese blog on 2009-07-05 which I am now moving here to this English blog.

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Check out the following websites:


Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/

Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/

Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/


My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum

My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe


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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Seclusion out of Fear of the System

I have the tendency to go into seclusion, mostly out of fear. I feared communication/participation/interaction with this world. Why? I see that this world is a systematic reality - everything I see is of consciousness system. I feared influence from the systematic reality. Within this fear I created an idea of 'not supporting the system' through going into seclusion - escaping from the system. I used this idea of not supporting the system to hide my fear and justify seclusion. Within seclusion, I went into experiences of all sorts of emotional shit - anxiety/insecurity/suppression/depression/frustration/lack of self-trust/abdication of self-responsibility. Fear of the system is actually fear of myself - fear of facing myself and taking self-responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become. I did not see each moment as an opportunity of self-intimacy, instead I allowed myself to exist in absolute limitation - giving all my power away to the system. And I did not see the common sense: if I fear/hide/escape from myself and from the system, how am I going to ever change and how is this world ever going to change? The first step is to stop fear and allow myself to see myself within my participation in my world.

I assist and support myself to participate actively in this world within consideration of what is necesary to be done practically that is best for all as self-expression and self-direction in the moment. I direct. I move. I apply. I express. I live. I within and as awareness as who I really am as Life as all as one as equal, stand one and equal with the entire moment, seeing direct/clear what is necessary to be done/what is best for all in the moment, then direct/move/apply/express/live the moment accordingly. This way, I allow my inner awareness to be expressed/manifested/lived in my outer reality. In this way I purify my inner reality and my outer reality and expand myself.

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Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear communication/participation/interaction with this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect 'communication/participation/interaction with this world' to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear influence from the systematic reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect influence from the systematic reality to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that nothing is able to influence me unless I allow it and unless I give permission - thus my responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that no human being or dimensional being is influencing another – I am all alone with my own mind manifested ‘influences'.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the only way anything is able to influence me is if I exist in separation of that ‘something' or ‘someone'.

This article explains the point of outer influence (http://desteni.co.za/a/questions-and-perspectives-concern-for-outside-separate-influences)

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the reason I feared this systematic reality is because I have separated myself from this systematic reality which is actually a reflection and manifestation of myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become - thus I am actually fearing myself.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect myself to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the system.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the system to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my systematic self - that which I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a mind consciousnesss system.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect my systematic self as the mind consciousness system to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear outer/separate influences.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect outer/separate influences to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from this systematic reality which is a reflection of the systematic self within and as what I have become as the mind consciousness system.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility through separatoin from what I have accepted and allowed myeslf to be and become as this systematic reality and my systematic self as the MCS.
 
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have created and manifested my perceived outer 'influences' through my mind.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my mind.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my mind.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect my mind to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have been influenced by other people instead of realizing that I have given permission to the influence through separation - creating and manifesting the influence through my mind.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my power through abdicating self-responsibility - taking responsibility for what I have become, manifested and created.
 
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am responsible for the perceived 'influences' from other people.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame other people including some Desteni members to mislead me.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in blame.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility through my participation in blame.
 
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the only reason I can be misled is through my acceptance and allowance of seperation - separating myself from other Desteni members through believing them to be superior to me or more than me and that whatever they said must be automatically true.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from other Desteni members through believing them to be superior to me or more than me and that whatever they said must be automatically true - which in fact is me being misled by my mind into such a belief.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be misled by my mind into a belief of other Destonians to be more than me or superior to me.
 
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have created and manifested the experience of being misled through accepting and allowing myself to be misled by my  mind into a belief that other Destonians are  more than me or superior to me.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the polarity of superiority/inferiority, less than/more than.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I may mislead others.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect me misleading others to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I may mislead others because I hold onto the belief and blame that I have been misled by others.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the belief and blame that I have been misled by others.
 
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into seclusion out of fear of this world which is myself.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the habitual pattern of seclusion.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear and go into seclusion instead of directing myself within standing as the self-directive-principle as who I am.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear to have control and power over me.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing seclusion to have control and power over me.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just my self-definition as the habitual pattern of seclusion through creating the idea that by going into seclusion I am 'not supporting the system', instead of being honest to myself that I am actually escaping from the system out of fear and justifying my self-definition as seclusion.
 
 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create this mutal 'support' of my self-definitions - using one self-definition to justify and support another self-definition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the mutal support network of my self-definitions of/as the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect fear of the system/my systematic self to seclusion.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect facing myself to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self-intimacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect self-intimacy to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to see into myself (intimacy - into me I see).

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect seeing into myself to fear - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.


Self-Corrective-Statement:

I accept and realize that escaping from participation in this world is not a solution and nothing will change until I at least allow myself to see what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind consciousness system and the manfiestation of this systematic reality as the unified consciousness field.

I accept and allow myself to SEE my accepted and allowed self through my participation in this world.

I accept and allow myself to participate in this world and SEE who I currently am.

I accept and allow self-intimacy - into me I see.

I accept and allow myself to face myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and take self-responsibility and stand up.

I do not accept and allow myself to be controlled/directed fear.

I do not accept and allow myself to go into seclusion as a justification of my fear of facing myself and becoming intimate with myself.

I do not accept and allow myself to fear outer/separate influences.

I accept and allow myself to realize that can only be influenced unless I give permission and that I separate myself from that which I fear to be influenced.

I accept and allow myself to see each moment as an opportunity to be intimate with myself.

I do not accept and allow myself to be controlled/directed by fear or limit myself out of fear - I assist and support myself to break the hold and limitations of fears.


Self-suggestions:

When I find myself going into seclusion, I assist and support myself to do something physical to get out the mind state,  go out for a walk in nature, to have some discussions with other people - to participate basically.


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Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/

Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/

Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/

My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum

My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe

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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Stopping Knife-Phobia in Desteni I Process

About two years ago, I started to have a peculiar fear - fear of knives. I know I created it because I did not have such a fear before - it is a reactive pattern that is developped. When I saw a knife, some pictures of harm/kill etc would come up into my mind and almost immediately I went into fear and had a physical reaction such as putting my arm in front of my chest to sort of protect myself. It bothered me quite a lot because every time I saw a kinfe this pattern would come up. But at that time I did not have specific and effective tools to stop this pattern. From my understanding at that time, it seemed to be some form of mental disease. So I looked up on the web to search for related information about such fears and did find some relevant information. It is described that patients suffering from this kind of disease would have those pictures or thoughts coming up into their minds which they can not direct/control. Some of those pictures/thoughts might be very weird - for example, a mother having pictures suddenly coming up into her mind of throwing the child in her arms into river - something like that. The patients do not know how to stop those pictures which has become a habitual behavior and feared that they might actually act upon those thoughts/pictures. And we do not have effective treatment for this kind of mental disease.

I went through that experience so I know that kind of suffering - It's like fighting a battle that I can never win because I do not understand what I am dealing with. It's not a disease that can be treated with some physical medication. It mostly depend on the patients to overcome their insanity of the mind and the fears that the mind generate. Our current science do not Actually know much about how the mind works - let alone to say understanding the mind on a specific level and have specific treatments for specific mental diseases. I mean, in order to treat a disease effectively we have to understand how it is developped - the cause of it.

In my particular case, the start of this pattern of knife-phobia can be traced back to a night more than two years ago. At that time I was not very stable because I was still in the beginning of my process and could not find my feet. That night I was haunted by a memory. The memory is as follows: "My family was watching a TV program one night some years ago. It was about an event of robbery or stealing where someone got into the house and was found by the host. The host fought with the person using a kitchen knife and chopped towards the person’s head several times and the knife just got bounced back. My father said if he were in that situation he would chop towards the person’s neck. I reacted into fear imagining within my mind this whole scenario if the kitchen knife were chopped at my head or neck."  -- This particular picture of kitchen kinfes chopping at my head and neck played out within my mind over and over and over again and I reacted in fear. The picture just seemed unstoppable - I was literally possessed by it. And I did not know how to stop it. Each time it played out in my mind, I went into fear and that pattern intensified each time. It became an unresolved issue that I did not know what to do about it. And then when I saw a knife or the picture of a kinfe in my life somewhere, that particular picture of knives chopping at me would come up into my mind and I went into that pattern reaction of fear which gradually became a habitual pattern. Each time I saw a kinfe, this pattern built onto itself one more layer based on that experience - so it became a multiple-layered habitual pattern. Then the strange thing is that I started to identify myself as such pattern - believing it to be unchangible and that would just be how I behave in relation to knife.

So from investigating this pattern, I see how this whole construct of kinfe-phobia is created through my acceptance/allowance/participation in the repetition of a singular memory/picture which was not dealt with immdediatelly and effectively - gradually built onto itself multiple layers each time it repeats and became a habitual pattern that seemed to be unchangable. I created this pattern through my acceptance and allowance and participation in my mind - allowing a memory/picture to direct me, allowing fear to control me. Thus I as the creator is responsible for such a creation which is a suffering experience that requires to be stopped. And the key to stop is self-forgiveness - specific self-forgiveness within self-honest starting point of investigation of the self-created pattern. This month's subject of the course Introduction to Desteni is about the fear system. It's a perfect opportunity for me to apply the tools that I have learned from the course so far and to actually apply them on this point of knife-phobia which has bothered me for so long -- I mean to really practically solve a problem in my life that I previously felt helpless to deal with - that is something, isn't it? I know this pattern I have existed in for so long is not just going to disappear in one night. I still require to walk the correction and stop the insane fear that has caused me so much suffering, but I no longer feel helpless to deal with it because I have the effective tools to work on it.


Below I attached my assignment of this month for the ITD course of the Desteni I Process - (not the complete document, but sufficient for understanding how I worked it through).


Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/
Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/
Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/
My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum
My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe
 
By the way, I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.
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1. Laying-out the Thought-Construct




1.1 Identify the thoughts of fear that came up in your writing:

I have to be careful so that the knife does not cut my finger.



1.2 Other Components



1.2.1 Emotion: Fear

Other emotions: Anxiety

Feelings:



1.2.2 Words: knife



1.2.3 Pictures: A Japanese solider use his bayonet on his gun to stab a baby.



1.2.4 Memories:

My father talked about a news about physical harm.



2. The Thoughts Work-Sheet

2.1 Trigger point of the thought:

Seeing the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife

2.2 Type of thought: Fear – specify what type of fear:

Fear of knives/Pain (Death) – (It is more of the fear of pain in being physically harmed with knives rather than death)



2.3 Self-Forgiveness



2.3.1 Self-Forgiveness on the thought:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the thought that I have to be careful so that the knife does not cut my finger.



2.3.2 Self-Forgiveness on the trigger point of the thought:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect seeing the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife to the thought that I have to be careful so that the knife does not cut my finger.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing seeing the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife to exist as a trigger point within me – triggering the thought that I have to be careful so that the knife does not cut my finger.



2.3.3 Self-Forgiveness on the type of thought:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my finger being cut by the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect “my finger being cut by the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife” to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the pain of my finger being cut by the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect “the pain of my finger being cut by the sharp blade of the Swiss Army Knife” to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being killed with a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect being killed with a knife to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the pain of being killed with a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the pain of being killed with a knife to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being stabbed by a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect being stabbed by a knife to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the pain when a knife is stabbed into my body.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the pain when a knife is stabbed into my body to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear physical harm.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect physical harm to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear dying in agonizing pain.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect dying in agonizing pain to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am not able to handle the fear of being harmed with a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect “not being able to handle the fear of being harmed with a knife” to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the fear of being cut by a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the fear of the pain of being cut by a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the fear of being killed by a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the fear of physical harm.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the fear of dying in agonizing pain.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the fear of not being able to handle the fear of being harmed with a knife.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear death.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect death to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that fear is real.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the fear of knives over and over and over again, creating and manifesting the fear system within me and within my world.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am the creator of this fear that I am experiencing.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from the fear of being harmed by a knife instead of realizing that hiding from this fear is hiding from myself because I am the creator of this fear and thus I am responsible for this fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that fear is simply a pre-programmed reaction.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the pre-programmed reaction as fear and believe it to be who I am.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away to fear – within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enslave myself to fear and become powerless in stopping fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility – the responsibility towards the pattern of fear of knives that I have created by myself as myself through my participation in it over and over and over again.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from fear, instead of taking self-responsibility to stand equal and one with/as it and stand up from within it and stop it.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the purpose of fear is to keep me from realizing myself as who I am as Life, one and equal.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the ineffectiveness, irrelevance, impracticality of fear.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive and believe that if I am more careful it is more likely I will not be cut by the knife, instead of realizing that ‘having to be careful’ is done from the starting point of fear and thus creating and manifesting fear.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I am obsessed with being careful to not cut myself, I am not completely here equal and one with what I am doing with the knife and thus I might create the experience of being cut because of the obsession with the thought of being careful to not cut myself.



2.4 Self-Corrective Statements:



I accept and realize that fear is useless, ineffective and irrelevant – fear is not going to protect me and that fear is not going to help me – it merely makes me suffer as I exist in continuous fear.



I accept and realize that fear of being harmed by knives is not going to prevent me from being harmed by knives.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the useless, ineffective, irrelevant, suffer-causing fear of being harmed by knives.



I do not accept and allow myself to suffer through existing in constant and continuous fear of being harmed by knives.





I accept and realize that fear of being harmed by knives actually manifests the experience of/as the fear of being harmed by knives because I am the creator of such an experience through my accepted and allowed nature as such a fear.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in constant and continuous fear of being harmed by knives.



I do not accept and allow myself to manifest and create my experience of being harmed by knives.



I do not accept and allow myself to continue to exist as the accepted and allowed nature of/as fear of being harmed by knives.



I stop creating my experience of being physically harmed by knives.





I accept and realize that fear is not real – it is a pre-programmed reaction of my mind that I have believed and defined as who I am and that its purpose is to keep me from realizing myself as who I am as Life, one and equal.



I do not accept and allow myself to believe that fear is real.



I do not accept and allow myself to define myself according to and as a pre-programmed reaction of my mind as fear.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in fear.



I do not accept and allow myself to enslave myself through participating in fear and believing myself to be the reaction of/as fear.



I accept and allow myself to live who I am as LIFE, one and equal – free from the control and enslavement of/as fear.





I accept and realize that fear exists through my participation and I am the creator of fear that exist within me and thus I am responsible for what I have accepted and allowed to create, manifest and define myself as which is fear – I am not separate from fear.



I do not accept and allow myself to abdicate my creation of or separate myself from fear.



I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility as creator to stand equal and one with/as it and stand up from within it and stop participating in it.





I accept and realize that ‘having to be careful’ is done from the starting point of fear and thus creating and manifesting fear and that when I am obsessed with being careful to not cut myself - I am not completely here equal and one with what I am doing with the knife and thus I might create the experience of being cut because of the obsession with the thought of having to be careful to not cut myself.



I do not accept and allow myself to be obsessed with the thought of having to be careful so that I do not cut myself.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate from the starting point of fear i.e. constantly and continuously reminding myself of having to be careful to not be cut by the knife.



I accept and allow myself to be completely here equal and one with what I am doing with the knife and use Common Sense to direct me.





The meaning of my Chinese name is literally No Fear. I accept and allow myself to live my name as No Fear – becoming the living word as No Fear.



Re-scripture of the practical solution for the trigger point:



Whenever I see a knife, I stop and breathe, I do not accept and allow myself to go into or participate in the reaction of/as fear. I stop and breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to participate in pictures within my mind related to fear. If pictures do come up, I stop and breathe and do not accept and allow myself to participate in them in any way whatsoever. I establish myself Here in the physical equal and one with/as the knife and the task that I am using the knife with and direct myself with common sense. I take self-responsibility for the pattern of fear of knives that I have created and stand up within it and stop myself as it. When I find myself going into stiffness and petrification in such a situation, I stop and breathe and just laugh to assist and support myself to break the hold of the fear – simply laughing at myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in such a useless fear.





3. The Emotion or Feeling Work-Sheet



Emotion/Feeling 1

3.1 Specific type/’shade’ of emotion/feeling:

Fear of pain



3.2 Reason for connecting thought to emotion/feeling:

I see knives as dangerous and able to harm me physically. I feared the pain of being harmed physically by knives.



3.3 Self-Forgiveness



3.3.1 Self-Forgiveness on connecting thought with emotion/feeling:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought of me having to be careful to not cut myself to an emotion experience of fear.



3.3.2 Self-Forgiveness on emotion/feeling:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the emotion of fear of being harmed by knives and the pain thereof.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotion of fear of being harmed by knives and the pain thereof because I have defined knives as dangerous and able to harm me physically.



Self-Forgiveness on the reason for Connection:



The SF on fear has been applied in the thought-construct worksheet. The point of defining knives as dangerous will be dealt with in the word web.



3.4 Self-Corrective Statement



I accept and realize that the emotion of fear does not support me in any way whatsoever and is useless, irrelevant, and impractical.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the useless, irrelevant, and impractical emotion of fear.





Emotion/Feeling 2

3.5 Specific type/’shade’ of emotion/feeling:

3.6 Anxiety



3.7 Reason for connecting thought to emotion/feeling:

fear of the possibility of me being harmed physically by knives



3.8 Self-Forgiveness



3.8.1 Self-Forgiveness on connecting thought with emotion/feeling:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought of me having to be careful to not cut myself to an emotion experience of anxiety.



3.8.2 Self-Forgiveness on emotion/feeling:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the emotion of anxiety.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotional experience of anxiety in my solar plexus.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the anxiety that I experienced in my solar plexus.



Self-Forgiveness on the reason for Connection:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotion of anxiety because of the fear of the possibility of being harmed physically by knives.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the possibility of me being harmed physically by knives.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the possibility of me being harmed physically by knives to fear – and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be worried and concerned with something that might possibly happen, instead of realizing that such worry, concern, anxiety does not assist and support me in any way whatsoever – they cannot prevent events from happening but actually create and manifest that which I worry and concern.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the experience of uncertainty of what might possibly happen.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the uncertainty of what might possibly happen.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be obsessed with the uncertainty of what might possibly happen, instead of realizing that it is as useless, irrelevant and impractical as worry, concern, anxiety, and fear.



3.9 Self-Corrective Statement



I accept and realize that the emotion of anxiety, worry, concern, uncertainty does not support me in any way whatsoever and is useless, irrelevant, and impractical.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the useless, irrelevant, and impractical emotion of anxiety, worry, concern, uncertainty.



When I find myself going into such emotional experiences as anxiety, worry, concern, uncertainty – I stop and breathe through these experiences until they exist no more within me.



4. The Words Work-Sheet



4.1 Word-Web:



Knife: Murder/ Killing, Blood, Death, Weapon, Danger, Harm, Cut, Chop, behead, pain, skinning

4.2 Self-Forgiveness

4.2.1 Self-Forgiveness on positive/negative value for word:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word knife with a negative value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word knife as bad/wrong/negative within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife through judging the word knife as bad/wrong/negative.

4.2.2 Self-Forgiveness on each point in the word-web:

Danger:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word danger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word danger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word danger through defining the word knife within the word danger in separation of myself.



Harm:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word harm.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word harm.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word harm through defining the word knife within the word harm in separation of myself.



Suffer:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word suffer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word suffer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word suffer through defining the word knife within the word suffer in separation of myself.



Stab:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word stab.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word stab.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word stab through defining the word knife within the word stab in separation of myself.



Cut:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word cut.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word cut.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word cut through defining the word knife within the word cut in separation of myself.



Chop:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word chop.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word chop.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word chop through defining the word knife within the word chop in separation of myself.



Pain:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word pain through defining the word knife within the word pain in separation of myself.



Skinning:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word skinning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word skinning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word skinning through defining the word knife within the word skinning in separation of myself.



Behead:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word behead.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word behead.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word behead through defining the word knife within the word behead in separation of myself.



Blood:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word blood.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word blood.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word blood through defining the word knife within the word blood in separation of myself.



Murder/Killing:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the words murder/killing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the words murder/killing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the words murder/killing through defining the word knife within the words murder/killing in separation of myself.



Death:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word death through defining the word knife within the word death in separation of myself.



Weapon:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word knife to the word weapon.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word knife within the word weapon.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word knife and from the word weapon through defining the word knife within the word weapon in separation of myself.



4.3 Re-define the word in the centre-circle of the word-web:

4.3.1 Dictionary definition:

sharp blade with a handle, used for cutting or as a weapon; cutting blade in a machine or tool

4.3.2 Sounding the word:

The word knife sounds (speaking/hearing) like life. Its structure (writing/spelling) can be seen as composed of two parts: k + nife. I would define the part nife within the word knife as life according to their closeness both in hearing and spelling. The letter K can be defined as Keep or Kill – depending on the one who uses the knife.

New definition:

Knife: blade with a handle, depending on the one using the knife it can be used either to Keep Life or Kill Life – Keeping Life from the perspective that it can be used as a practical functional tool to support life; Killing Life from the perspective that it can be used as a tool to destroy life.



5. The Pictures Work-Sheet



5.1 Drawing/writing out a picture-representation:

The picture does not have any specific background. There are just two persons in it – a Japanese solider with a bayonet on his gun and a bady. The Japanese solider is on the right side while the baby is on the left top corner. The bayonet is in the baby’s body and the Japanese solider is holding up the gun and the bayonet. This motionless picture is the main frame of this scenario. Sometimes it plays out like a movie where the solider throws the baby onto the ground.



5.2 What the picture as a whole represents:

killing, murdering, violence, brutality, cruelty, atrocity, war

5.3 Self-Forgiveness

5.3.1 Self-Forgiveness on connection to the thought:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the picture of the Japanese solider stabbing a bayonet into a baby’s body to the thought that I have to be careful with the knife to not cut myself.

5.3.2 Self-Forgiveness on the picture (use the points you drew/wrote down in 6.1 to describe the picture):

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the picture in which there is a Japanese solider on the right side of the picture with a bayonet on his gun which he is holding up while the bayonet is stabbed into the baby’s body who is at the left top corner of the picture – to exist within and as me.

5.3.3 Self-Forgiveness on what the picture represents:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the words ‘killing, murdering, violence, brutality, cruelty, atrocity, war’ to the picture in my mind of a Japanese solider where the Japanese solider is on the right side of the picture with a bayonet on his gun which he is holding up while the bayonet is stabbed into the baby’s body who is at the left top corner of the picture



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the words ‘killing, murdering, violence, brutality, cruelty, atrocity, war’ within a picture in my mind of a Japanese solider stabbing a bayonet into a baby’s body.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the words ‘killing, murdering, violence, brutality, cruelty, atrocity, war’ through defining these words within a picture in my mind of a Japanese solider stabbing a bayonet into a baby’s body.

5.4 Self-Corrective Statements

I realize and accept that who I am is not a picture within my mind and that it is silly to allow myself to be directed and controlled by such a picture in my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to define myself according to a picture within my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to be directed or controlled by a picture in my mind.



I accept and allow myself to be and live who I am here within as breath of life as awareness – not a picture in my mind.





I accept and allow myself to realize that I am not living words equal and one as who I am when words are defined within pictures in my mind is in separation from me.



I accept and allow myself to live words equal and one as who I am.



I do not accept and allow myself to define words in pictures within my mind in separation of myself.



I accept and allow myself to apply self-forgiveness in assisting and supporting myself to erase definitions of words connected to pictures/images in separation of myself.



When pictures come up into my mind irrelevant to what I am dealing with physically here – I stop and breathe and delete the picture within my mind.



6. The Memories Work-Sheet



6.1 Complete unfolding of memory:

My family was watching a TV program one night some years ago. It was about an event of robbery or stealing where someone got into the house and was found by the host. The host fought with the person using a kitchen knife and chopped towards the person’s head several times and the knife just got bounced back. My father said if he were in that situation he would chop towards the person’s neck. I reacted into fear imagining within my mind this whole scenario if the kitchen knife were chopped at my head or neck.

6.2 Relevant points within the Memory:

One night some years ago (Time)

My family (People)

Watching a TV program about a robbery or stealing (Activity)

The host chopping the kitchen knife towards the person’s head several times and the knife just got bounced back; my father saying if he were in that situation he would chop towards the person’s neck. (Event)

Fear if the kitchen knife were chopped at my head or neck (Experience)

6.3 Reason for holding on to the Memory:

I have defined myself as fear of knives/physical harm according to this memory of discussion on the news about robbery/stealing.

6.4 Self-Forgiveness

6.4.1 Self-Forgiveness on connection to the thought:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the memory of ‘my family watching a TV program about a robbery or stealing one night some years ago, where the host chopped the kitchen knife towards the person’s head several times and the knife just got bounced back while my father said if he were in that situation he would chop towards the person’s neck – I reacted into fear imagining within my mind this whole scenario if the kitchen knife were chopped at my head or neck.’ to the thought ‘I have to be careful with the knife to not cut myself’.

6.4.2 Self-Forgiveness on the memory (use the relevant points of 7.2 to describe the memory):

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto and define myself according to and as the memory of ‘my family watching a TV program about a robbery or stealing one night some years ago, where the host chopped the kitchen knife towards the person’s head several times and the knife just got bounced back while my father said if he were in that situation he would chop towards the person’s neck – I reacted into fear imagining within my mind this whole scenario if the kitchen knife were chopped at my head or neck.’

6.4.3 Self-Forgiveness on reason for holding on to the memory:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined my fear of being physically harmed by knives within the memory of my family’s discussion on the TV program where the description of a kitchen knife being chopped towards a person’s head and neck was imprinted into my mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from fear of being physically harmed by knives through defining it within a memory within my mind, in separation of myself.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away to the fear of being physically harmed by knives through separating myself from/defining myself according to and as the fear defined within the memory in separation of myself.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am equal and one with the fear of being physically harmed by knives which I have created through my mind through defining myself according to this specific memory within my mind – and thus I as the creator is able to take self-responsibility for my creation, stand up within this specific fear and stop it to no longer allow myself to continue to exist as fear of being harmed physically by knives.

6.5 Self-Corrective Statements:

I accept and realize that who I am is not defined by a memory within my mind and that defining myself according to and as a memory within my mind is self-separation and self-enslavement.



I do not accept and allow myself to define myself according to and as a memory within my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to separate and enslave myself through defining myself according to and as a memory within my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to hold onto memories which I have used to define as who I am which is of/as the mind consciousness system.



I accept and allow myself to use/apply self-forgiveness to stop these self-definitions that I have created through memories stored within my mind – slowly but surely.





I accept and realize that the fear of being physically harmed by knives which I have created and defined as who I am within the memory within my mind in separation of myself is not who I really am as the breath of Life Here.



I accept and allow myself to stop the fear of being physically harmed by knives through stopping holding onto that specific memory within my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to continue to exist as the fear of being physically harmed by knives.



I accept and allow myself to live who I really am as the breath of LIFE – not defined by memories within my mind, yet also not separate from ‘memories’.





I accept and realize that within separating myself from the fear of being physically harmed by knives through defining it in a memory within my mind in separation of myself, I have given my power away to the fear and abdicated self-responsibility as the creator of the fear in the first place – instead of realizing that I am equal and one with the fear because I created it and thus I as the creator is able to take self-responsibility for my creation, stand up within this specific fear and stop it to no longer allow myself to continue to exist within and as it.



I do not accept and allow myself to separate myself from fear or abdicate my self-responsibility and my power as the creator through defining fear within a memory in separation of myself – enslaving myself into and as fear through self-separation.



I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility and power as creator – standing equal and one with fear, standing up within it and stopping it to no longer to continue to exist within and as fear.