I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of Josh because i see him as very specific/diligent/hardworking/active in doing the lab and having discussions with Lukens (NMR instructor), while i see myself as the opposite in expression.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to regard Josh to be more than me and regard me as being less than within comparision in expression, and thus being jealous of Josh's expression, instead of assisting and supporting me to be as effective as Josh's expression.
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist writing self-forgiveness because i have regarded writing SF as less efficient than speaking SF, instead of realizing that writing can assist and support me to see what i have accepted and allowed directly in front of me and thus it is great support for me to apply specific and effective SF.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to regard writing SF as a waste of time while speaking SF is very efficient.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that the resistance towards writing SF is the resistance towards facing myself and thus protection of self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to protect my own patterns/habitual behaviors/definitions/self-limitations through resistance of writing in facing myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as resistance towards facing myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that writing self-forgiveness is a waste of time, instead of realizing that this is an idea that i have formed and an excuse that i use for me as a MCS to trap myself.
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior in expression when i see that Josh was able to communicate effectively with the professor while i was just standing beside and making a couple of comments.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that i am not able to communicate effectively with other people.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take my expression as passiveness in doing the lab and define myself as this expression.
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my past memories/habitual patterns in this Grad lab scenario.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate changing myself as my accepted nature, believing that it is better to start doing something later in the future instead of realizing that the future projection/expectation is trapping me into the pattern of procrastination.
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am less in doing something with my hand.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to say in my mind that i am not able to do it right -- acceptance of limitation, instead of assisting and supporting me to stop the definition of limitation.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that it is too late for me to do something, and within this existing as self-defeat and self-abdication.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is too late to do something and want to give up in assisting and supporting myself in taking the opportunity at the moment to do whatever i can do in the moment -- it is never too late in every HERE moment.
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I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that Josh is reflecting to me what has happened in the family construct -- the sibling senario.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being effective only in certain situations and limit myself in those situations, not allowing myself to challenge myself and expand my self-expression.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear challenges because i have defined myself as being incapable of handling challenges.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to say in mind that challenging myself is stupid, instead of realizing that this is justification of self-limitation.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and myself to resist writing SF on fear of challenge.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist as fear of challenge, and within this fear i start to avoid all challenges.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to study new courses because i fear that i may not be able to catch up with the course.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only be comfortable with that which i have already known which i feel secure.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure when i was facing a challenge, which led to the pattern of self-doubt/self-distrust.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to restrict myself from expanding myself within participating in this world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as self-limitation.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to choose that which is least challenging so that i will be able to survive.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define living as surviving.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to turn living into surviving in the education system.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to myself for being able to read so many books and my effectiveness in reading many books.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself as this resistance and protection of self-dishonesty, instead of realizing that me as a MCS is interfering so that i can continue to be enslaved.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have given permission for my mind to control/enslave me instead of me directing myself.
I forgive mysef that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am less that what i am capable of and live out my self-definition as self-limitation.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for my mind to fuck with me in the process of self-expansion.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not dedicate myself in the process of self-expansion and walk through the limitation that i have accepted and allowed until the pattern of self-limitation exists no more.
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that i am left behind and that i am regarded as a member in the group but a marginal man.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is too late for me to take action and thus giving up already even before i give myself an opportunity, instead of realizing that it is never too late.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself exist as isolation and define myself as this pattern of isolation.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not able to transcend the points that i have limited myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definitiy on as self-limitation through the trained-mind senario.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to act upon the limitation that i used to define as who i am, and within this limitation i fucked myself by myself.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to dedicate myself to carry/walk through a pattern until it is transcended.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to act upon the limitation that i used to define as who i am and within this acting upon limitation/fear of challenge i have allowed myself
to relapse into the old patterns and eventually went into isolation/depression/anger etc.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deny the truth that i have accepted and allowed me to be and become.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge that which i see can assist and support as bullshit and prevent myself from expanding myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to close the windows of opportunity within and as the infinite moment.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for my mind to fuck with me so that i do not accept myself to experience who i really am as Life as all as one as equal as the limitless self-expression.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as self-limitation and justify/protect self-limitation, instead of seeing the stupiditiy in such behaviors.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to close the windows of opportunity and not allow myself to go for whatever that is here as self-expression to expand myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist as self-defeat, defining myself as a slave to the limitation that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and beome.
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I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be reluctant to face the miconceptions/misunderstandings that i have formed and correct them, because i have defined myself as those misconceptions/misunderstandings and have given value to them even i know that they are fucking me.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to see the stupidity within such behaviors as justifying/defending/protecting self-limitations.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to listen to the bullshit talk saying "i love that" -- loving self-limitation and self-abuse?
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be unwilling to face the self-abuse and self-limitation that i have accepted and allowed.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to follow the pictures/patterns within my mind so that i divert my attention from Here and miss the point of transendence and time loop myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take the bait that my mind throws at me and even stupidly bite the bait.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that the lethargy/picture divertion/energetic experience etc are the baits that me as a MCS is throwing at me just to divert my attention from the transcendent point.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that me as a MCS fears to disappear and will do whatever it takes to divert my attention away from the possibility of realizing myself.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to give direction to the points that are in my world that require directions.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as weak-willed, instead of realizing that it is a statement of self-limitation and thus can not be tolerated.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that i am weak-willed to just continue the self-dishonesty/self-interest, which is absolutely self-abuse.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist participation in this world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as stagnation.
I forgive myself that
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