self-judgement, self-denial, self-resistance, self-abdication, self-rejection

http://desteni.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?t=16142

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that i have been judging, denying, resisting, abdicating, rejecting that which i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as my nature.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the truth of/as me deliberately so that i can continue to exist as self-deception and not change myself.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that i can not change anything if i exist as separation from that which i want to change.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face the truth of/as me as my accepted nature, because it is not beautiful, not something i 'enjoy' seeing.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the justification 'i do not want to see', 'i do not enjoy seeing it' etc to justify why i hide from myself -- from the dishonest nature that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to open myself up, but pushing everybody away from me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out the pattern of pushing everyone away from me, which is the pattern that is dominating me on resonance level.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resisit facing myself, thus separating myself from myself and giveing my power power away within separation.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist assisting and supporting myself unconditionally within self-honesty, but want to continue to hide from the truth of/as me as the accepted nature.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist in resistance towards SRA, because me as a MCS know that if i participate in this course and assist and support me in this course i will be able to stop myself as a MCS, and me as a MCS fear losing myself, not willing to give myself up -- that's why i am procrastinating SRA.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that i do not have enough time to participate in this course SRA to assist and support me, instead of realizing that it is not about time really -- it is about self-movement--time is just an excuse of me not assisting and supporting myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to wait for somebody else to push me so that i can move myself. WTF?! I am actually waiting for myself.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that what i have always been waiting is but myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the pattern of self-defeat, wanting to wait for somebody else to save me/push me -- this can not be tolerated.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as an observer, not allowing myself to realize that participation is required Here.