Friday, December 18, 2009

What has been happening on me in all these months

"And every human being will face what they have allowed. Somewhere a line had to be drawn. There is no more beauty as projected by the mind. It’s only smoking mirrors and when these mirrors break a great silence will be upon all. Cause you’ll be stuck, just with yourself.

There is two ways to break the mirror. The one is where you deliberately break it so you can get to a point where you can actually see who the fuck you are. The other one is Death. Cause these mirrors are created through energy, through energy generation, through a mind system within the physical. Wonderful. You’ll break the mirror with self-honesty, self forgiveness and common sense. And making the tough decision as actual things you live out till the storm settles. Therefore you push yourself beyond your limitations, your accepted realities.

You have to be self-honesty because otherwise your irritation, your annoyance, your absolute inner conflict will rise and eventually it will spill over, you’ll take it out on other people around you. Then you must know I am in serious trouble. I am dishonest, I am not standing.

And you’ll notice a fascinating thing that you are fearful of making the change. You fear the unknown, you fear the future of what’ll happen to you if you do change. Fascinating fear. I mean, don’t you fucking decide? Why would you fear it? Just to make sure that you never decide. It’s rather stupid.

What would be the difference whether you actually change and actually have a say in changing your reality or you don’t change just by fearing what you might have to face. But you’re not satisfied with what you have, why would you hang on to it? What could be the reason or purpose? Fascinatingly enough the reason and purpose is self-interest. You believe that you have things you will lose if you have to change. Therefore you don’t change. Because you’ll settle for the minimum and you will settle for the conflict and the annoyance and the irritation and live in that dishonesty. Which disempowers you completely. "

FUCK! This is exactly what i have been doing in all these months!!! Self-disohnesty. Limitation. Constraint. Not pushing myself beyond the limitation that i have imposed onto myself!!! That is why the irritation, anger, frustration becoming more and more and more and i started to take it out onto other beings!!! Shit!

I stop the limitation that i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become!

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