Seclusion out of Fear of the System

I have the tendency to go into seclusion, mostly out of fear. I feared communication/participation/interaction with this world. Why? I see that this world is a systematic reality - everything I see is of consciousness system. I feared influence from the systematic reality. Within this fear I created an idea of 'not supporting the system' through going into seclusion - escaping from the system. I used this idea of not supporting the system to hide my fear and justify seclusion. Within seclusion, I went into experiences of all sorts of emotional shit - anxiety/insecurity/suppression/depression/frustration/lack of self-trust/abdication of self-responsibility. Fear of the system is actually fear of myself - fear of facing myself and taking self-responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become. I did not see each moment as an opportunity of self-intimacy, instead I allowed myself to exist in absolute limitation - giving all my power away to the system. And I did not see the common sense: if I fear/hide/escape from myself and from the system, how am I going to ever change and how is this world ever going to change? The first step is to stop fear and allow myself to see myself within my participation in my world.

I assist and support myself to participate actively in this world within consideration of what is necesary to be done practically that is best for all as self-expression and self-direction in the moment. I direct. I move. I apply. I express. I live. I within and as awareness as who I really am as Life as all as one as equal, stand one and equal with the entire moment, seeing direct/clear what is necessary to be done/what is best for all in the moment, then direct/move/apply/express/live the moment accordingly. This way, I allow my inner awareness to be expressed/manifested/lived in my outer reality. In this way I purify my inner reality and my outer reality and expand myself.

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Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear communication/participation/interaction with this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect 'communication/participation/interaction with this world' to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear influence from the systematic reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect influence from the systematic reality to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that nothing is able to influence me unless I allow it and unless I give permission - thus my responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that no human being or dimensional being is influencing another – I am all alone with my own mind manifested ‘influences'.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the only way anything is able to influence me is if I exist in separation of that ‘something' or ‘someone'.

This article explains the point of outer influence (http://desteni.co.za/a/questions-and-perspectives-concern-for-outside-separate-influences)

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the reason I feared this systematic reality is because I have separated myself from this systematic reality which is actually a reflection and manifestation of myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become - thus I am actually fearing myself.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect myself to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the system.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the system to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my systematic self - that which I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a mind consciousnesss system.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect my systematic self as the mind consciousness system to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear outer/separate influences.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect outer/separate influences to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from this systematic reality which is a reflection of the systematic self within and as what I have become as the mind consciousness system.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility through separatoin from what I have accepted and allowed myeslf to be and become as this systematic reality and my systematic self as the MCS.
 
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have created and manifested my perceived outer 'influences' through my mind.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my mind.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my mind.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect my mind to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have been influenced by other people instead of realizing that I have given permission to the influence through separation - creating and manifesting the influence through my mind.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my power through abdicating self-responsibility - taking responsibility for what I have become, manifested and created.
 
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am responsible for the perceived 'influences' from other people.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame other people including some Desteni members to mislead me.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in blame.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility through my participation in blame.
 
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the only reason I can be misled is through my acceptance and allowance of seperation - separating myself from other Desteni members through believing them to be superior to me or more than me and that whatever they said must be automatically true.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from other Desteni members through believing them to be superior to me or more than me and that whatever they said must be automatically true - which in fact is me being misled by my mind into such a belief.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be misled by my mind into a belief of other Destonians to be more than me or superior to me.
 
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have created and manifested the experience of being misled through accepting and allowing myself to be misled by my  mind into a belief that other Destonians are  more than me or superior to me.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the polarity of superiority/inferiority, less than/more than.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I may mislead others.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect me misleading others to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I may mislead others because I hold onto the belief and blame that I have been misled by others.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the belief and blame that I have been misled by others.
 
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into seclusion out of fear of this world which is myself.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the habitual pattern of seclusion.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by fear and go into seclusion instead of directing myself within standing as the self-directive-principle as who I am.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear to have control and power over me.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing seclusion to have control and power over me.
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just my self-definition as the habitual pattern of seclusion through creating the idea that by going into seclusion I am 'not supporting the system', instead of being honest to myself that I am actually escaping from the system out of fear and justifying my self-definition as seclusion.
 
 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create this mutal 'support' of my self-definitions - using one self-definition to justify and support another self-definition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the mutal support network of my self-definitions of/as the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect fear of the system/my systematic self to seclusion.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect facing myself to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self-intimacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect self-intimacy to fear - and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to see into myself (intimacy - into me I see).

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect seeing into myself to fear - and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.


Self-Corrective-Statement:

I accept and realize that escaping from participation in this world is not a solution and nothing will change until I at least allow myself to see what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind consciousness system and the manfiestation of this systematic reality as the unified consciousness field.

I accept and allow myself to SEE my accepted and allowed self through my participation in this world.

I accept and allow myself to participate in this world and SEE who I currently am.

I accept and allow self-intimacy - into me I see.

I accept and allow myself to face myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and take self-responsibility and stand up.

I do not accept and allow myself to be controlled/directed fear.

I do not accept and allow myself to go into seclusion as a justification of my fear of facing myself and becoming intimate with myself.

I do not accept and allow myself to fear outer/separate influences.

I accept and allow myself to realize that can only be influenced unless I give permission and that I separate myself from that which I fear to be influenced.

I accept and allow myself to see each moment as an opportunity to be intimate with myself.

I do not accept and allow myself to be controlled/directed by fear or limit myself out of fear - I assist and support myself to break the hold and limitations of fears.


Self-suggestions:

When I find myself going into seclusion, I assist and support myself to do something physical to get out the mind state,  go out for a walk in nature, to have some discussions with other people - to participate basically.


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