The Process of Birthing Myself as Who I Really Am as Life as All as One as Equal
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Deal with what is directly Here
Work with the point that is Here in every moment as every breath -- this is the most effective way to move, otherwise i will only be prolonging my process. One of the problems that i have been having is that at the same moment there are several points or even many points that i want to deal with and i will feel flustered with what to do -- when i am doing something that is Here i will think about/be worried about other things that i want to do -- so i am not actually Here dealing with the point that is Here but wanting to go there somewhere else which i believe to be more important or effective than what i am dealing with Here. Well, the fact is that Being Here and working with what is Here and trust myself to be Here without being driven by ideas to go out there somewhere is where opportunity and effectiveness comes. The mind consciousness system always wants to divert my attention from what is Here that is most effective, which is usually experienced as a feeling of resistance and belief of something more important somewhere else and within this i will feel an urge to go there and leave instead of dealing with what is already Here. This point of working with what is Here is also a principle in muscle communication. The mind wants to rush, and in rush i can not get things done in the most effective way which is working with what is Here and direct what is Here. My mind willl give me ideas that what is Here is not important compared with something that my mind has constructed through ideas/beliefs/perceptions. For example, today my world started to move again. Tomorrow i will have a QFT class when a homework is due and i have not yet done my homework "as usual" -- it is a pattern i have created. In the usual days i will just spend the whole night on the problems trying to figure out how to solve them and strangely enough, i am extremely ineffective -- the simplest problem will take me about an hour to solve, which is absolutely ineffective. i wanted to go into that pattern again -- to stay up late to finish my homework-- and i experienced exactly as i experienced before -- extremely ineffective: i was stuck in the first problem -- one very simple problem but i just do not seem to be able to move on -- my past understanding, the knowledge and information seem to have disappeared and i am just stuck blindlessly struggling with what the heck the problem is. Maybe it is that i am not doing what is Here because goint into a rush and do what i believe that i need to do is just not working well enough. Just deal with what is Here, right Here, every moment, not bassed on ideas/beliefs. My mind will tell me that that is more important -- go there, instead of just being Here.
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