The following is extracted from my 7th assignment of the Introduction to Desteni Course within the Desteni I Process( http://desteniiprocess.com/ ) , where I worked on the Trust system.
Writing:
I will take the most relevant part of an event that happened in my world for the purpose of this assignment.
The event that took place involved another two persons which I will use F and A to represent them. F and I had disagreements on some issues. F sent to A an email which involved something about me, but I did not know the specific content of that email. But from A’s response, I had a thought that ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me.’
The related system design I am going to work on in this assignment is trust.
Various Components I will be working with:
Thought: The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me.
Emotion: anger
Words: distrust/trust
Pictures: No specific picture is related to the original thought.
Memories: College entrance examination
The Thoughts Work-Sheet
The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me.
Self-Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me.’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me’ to my interpretation of A’s response by taking it personally.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my interpretation of A’s response through taking it personally to exist as a trigger point within me, triggering the thought ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself and my trust from myself through placing my trust outside me separate from me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself, from my own self-trust, and from the being A through defining and placing my trust within A separate from me.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that trusting another outside of me separate from me, defining my trust outside of myself is actually a manifestation of me being a wimp, using an excuse for not trusting myself because I actually fear taking self-responsibility.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place trust outside of me because I fear myself – fear what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear realizing and trusting my own self-honesty – taking responsibility for myself, my life and my creation as this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in someone else so that if they fuck up, then I am able to blame them and then I am not being responsible.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to get other people to trust me because if they trust me, I can manipulate them to have my way and control my world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be unwilling to admit that I participated in manipulation and control within wanting other people to trust me because then I am a bad person.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as a bad person because I have judged the word manipulation and control.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the words manipulation and control as bad/wrong/negative.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the words manipulation and control through judging the words manipulation and control as bad/wrong/negative – in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/desire/need others to trust me so that I can manipulate and control others for my own advantage of my ego of self-interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want people to trust me so that I can manipulate them to get what I want/need/desire of self-interest.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that if I place my trust in another, then they will betray and deceive me – equal and one to my starting point of self-deception within placing my trust outside of me.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that betrayal does not actually exist – what exists is self-betrayal within the very starting point of trusting others and placing trust in separation from myself thus self-dishonesty and therefore I am responsible.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am responsible for the manifested experience of betrayal because I have betrayed myself through separating myself from self-trust.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that trust has never existed, but trust has been existing as a system hiding deception – what exists behind trust is deception and this world exists in deception.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that placing my trust out there in other human beings creates and compounds emotions and feelings and thoughts and memories and pictures inside the mind, thus assisting and supporting the manifestation and generation of the mind consciousness system within me.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that ‘trust’ is the relationship connection line that connects relationships as the mind consciousness systems, which is manifesting this existence of separation.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am self-dishonest from the very starting point of placing my trust within another outside of me separate from me.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the web of self-dishonesty and separation is woven through relationship connections of placing trust outside and separate from self, instead of here as self – I am self-trust, I take self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define trust outside separate from me, creating relationship connections of ‘attempting and trying to hide’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide behind relationships instead of facing myself and taking self-responsibility within the application of self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that who I am as one as equal as myself is here as every breath and in defining my trust separate from myself within another human being or other human beings within this world, I have separated me from myself which is self-dishonesty because I am separating myself from myself and existing in separation with another human being – which is manifesting a relationship, where two mind systems come together and experience each other together and support and assist each other as mind consciousness systems.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on memories to tell me what to do/who to be.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust my mind to tell me what to do and who to be.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust my memories instead of trusting myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility to my mind in trusting my mind rather than me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish my self-trust through continuously choosing my mind over me – following what my mind tells me to do, suppressing myself – instead of doing and saying what I see requires to be done or spoken in a moment.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing to act in breath here within the context of what is best for all, live here completely, embracing what is best for all – trusting myself and being trustworthy.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to live the word trust as who I am as the expression of the application of self-honesty as who I am.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within the illusion of defining my trust within another separate from me I am not actually able to trust anything or anyone within this world and within this existence – because self-trust is here as who I am in every moment of every breath.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self-trust is the expression of self that manifests in application of self-honesty as self in every moment of every breath.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self-trust is an infinite expression of self, is an infinite statement of self in application that remains as self in every moment of every breath.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self-trust cannot exist without self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to live self-honesty as me and within self-honesty trust me.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self-honesty and self-trust are equal and one in expression and application.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self-honesty is the application and self-trust is the expression of the application of self-honesty – both self-honesty and self-trust as one living example of self is who I am here in every moment of every breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self-dishonest with the experience of myself in the moment (instead of doing and saying what I see requires to be done or spoken in a moment) and continued that self-dishonesty within me in ignoring what I am actually experiencing within me – within that I have ‘lost’ that expression of me of self-honesty and just do what everyone else wants me to do – in that inverting and suppressing myself – and in that my trust is dispersed.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the way my trust is connected to relationships outside of me is because I have suppressed my own self-honesty and therefore no self-trust exists and then I defined my self-trust separate from myself because I have separated myself from my own self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to establish self-certainty as ‘who I am’ in every moment of every breath as the expression of self-trust within and as the application of self-honesty.
Self-Corrective Statements:
I accept and realize that trust is self-dishonesty because within placing trust outside of me, I am separating myself from myself, my trust and other human beings.
I do not accept and allow myself to place trust outside of me separate from me – I accept and allow trust the expression of who I am equal and one with the application of self-honesty as who I am in every moment as every breath.
I accept and realize that defining my trust outside of myself is actually a manifestation of me being a wimp, using an excuse to not trust myself because of fear of taking self-responsibility. And that by placing trust outside of me separate from me – I can use that as an excuse to blame if things fuck up so that I do not have to take self-responsibility.
I do not accept and allow myself to blame others if things fuck up because apparently I have placed trust within them while they have dishonored my trust.
I accept and allow myself to trust my own self-honesty – taking responsibility for myself, my life and my creation as this world.
I accept and realize that me wanting other people to trust me is because I want to manipulate others to have it my way and control my world to support my ego of self-interest
I do not accept and allow myself to use trust to manipulate and control.
I do not accept myself to support my ego of self-interest under the disguise of trust.
I accept and allow myself to stop the manipulation and control under the disguise of trust.
I accept and allow myself to live self-trust as the expression of who I am of self-honesty here in breath.
I accept and realize that the starting-point of/as trusting another outside of self is deception – and that is what I will manifest because I am deceiving myself in the very starting-point of placing my trust outside of self. I accept and realize that I am responsible for the manifested experience of betrayal because I have betrayed myself through separating myself from self-trust.
I do not accept and allow self-betrayal as my starting point of/as separating myself from my self-trust through placing trust outside of me separate from me.
I do not accept and allow myself to blame others to betray me instead I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility within self-honesty and sort out my starting point of self-betrayal.
I accept and realize that trust has never actually existed, but trust has been existing as a system hiding deception. I accept and realize that placing my trust out there in other human beings creates and compounds emotions and feelings and thoughts and memories and pictures inside the mind, thus assisting and supporting the manifestation and generation of the mind consciousness system within me and the manifestation of this existence of separation. I accept and realize that the web of self-dishonesty and separation is woven through relationship connections of placing trust outside and separate from self where two mind systems come together and experience each other together and support and assist each other as mind consciousness systems, instead of self-trust being here as self.
I do not accept and allow myself to hide behind relationships through placing and defining trust outside separate from me thus supporting the mind consciousness system and this manifested consciousness existence of separation.
I accept and realize that if I am continuously dishonest with myself – I’ll lose all trust in myself, because in moments I required to speak or act in self-honesty I followed my mind and suppressed myself and did not do it.
I do not accept myself to rely on my past/memories, thoughts, emotions, and feelings as my mind to tell me what to do and who I am.
I do not accept and allow myself to diminish my self-trust through continuously choosing my mind over me – following what my mind tells me to do, suppressing myself.
I accept and allow myself to assist and support myself to do and say what I see requires to be done or spoken in the here moment in breath within the context of what is best for all - live here completely, embracing what is best for all – trusting myself and being trustworthy.
I accept and allow myself and to take self-responsibility within the application of self-honesty as me here and express myself in self-trust accordingly in the moment of breath as who I am as one as equal as myself here within the consideration of what is best for all.
Re-scripture of the practical solution for the trigger point
When an event occurs which is unclear to me yet, I slow down and breathe. I do not accept myself to rush into reactions. If any reactions such as panic, anger, blame etc come up, I breathe and stop them. I do not accept myself to go into assumptions and interpretations, jump into conclusions, and create opinions and make-beliefs within my mind about what this event is. If such assumptions/interpretations/opinions/beliefs etc do come up, I bring them back to myself and investigate within self-honesty why do such things exist within me – if any points are revealed within investigation I apply self-forgiveness and self corrective application to sort myself out.
The Emotion or Feeling Work-Sheet
Anger
Self-Forgiveness:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to connect the emotion of anger and grievance to the thought ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me.’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought/assumption/perception/idea/belief/interpretation that ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened’ and that has caused A to trust me’ to exist as a trigger point within me, triggering the emotion of grievance and anger.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotional experience of anger because I believed that it is all F’s fault to mispresent information to A about me which caused A to distrust me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry because I feel that I am not trusted anymore.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be trusted by other people.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the only that exists is the anger of self because of self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the anger that I directed and blamed onto F is actually the anger that exist within me due to my participation in self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am self-dishonest within the very starting point of placing trust within A in separation of myself so that I can manipulate and control.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotion of anger because I can no longer manipulate and control if people do not trust me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotion of anger because my self-dishonesty is not supported.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotion of anger because I believed I am the victim in this event and F is the one who abused me so that I have the right to be angry and blame F.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive/believe that I have the right to be angry because apparently I am the victim in this event and F is the one who abused me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify my anger through manipulating myself to go into the victim self-definition of being treated unfairly.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame F for my emotional reaction of anger which originates from my own accepted and allowed self-dishonesty of placing trust outside of me separate from me, so that I do not have to take self-responsibility for my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame F for my emotional reaction of anger instead of realizing that I am responsible for my emotional reaction because the anger is actually revealing my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty of placing my trust in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the emotional experience of grievance because I felt that I had been treated unfairly due to mispresented information about me by F.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame F for my emotional reaction of anger and grievance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotional experience based on an assumption that F sent A an email with mispresented information about me while that is merely an assumption and I do not know whether that is a fact or not.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the assumption that I have made within my mind to be real.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by my own make-beliefs within my mind that is not based on facts but based on assumptions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to jump into conclusions based on assumptions/opinions/perceptions/ideas/beliefs – conning myself with illusions that I have conjured up within my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be deluded by my conclusions/assumptions/opinions/perceptions/ideas/beliefs that I have made about an event that took place.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place myself into the self-definition of a victim based on make-beliefs that I have convinced myself to be real.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to victimize myself using make-beliefs that I have created within my mind so that I can define myself as a victim and participate in the emotion of grievance, blame and anger.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to victimize myself so that I can just dwell on blame instead of taking self-responsibility.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in self-manipulation within manipulating myself into self-victimization so that I do not take self-responsibility.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be addicted to the self-victimization.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself into a victim state to abdicate self-responsibility.
Self-Corrective Statements:
I accept and realize that my grievance and anger has nothing to do with F or A because these emotions exist within me and I am responsible for my participation in them – and that I can not blame F for my emotional reaction because blame is abdication of self-responsibility.
I do not accept and allow myself to blame others for my emotional reaction which exist within me and which I accepted and allowed myself to participate in.
I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility to stop the blame that I have directed to F.
I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility to stop the emotion of grievance and anger that I participated in.
I do not accept and allow myself to justify the emotion of grievance and anger using the construct of blame or any other self-manipulation techniques.
I accept and realize that the anger that I experienced is actually anger of myself due to self-dishonesty and that I am self-dishonest from the very starting point of separating myself from my self-trust and desire trust from others so that I can manipulate and control.
I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the self-dishonesty of placing trust outside of me separate from me.
I do not accept and allow myself to desire/want/need trust from others just so that I can manipulate and control.
I accept and realize that my emotional reaction of anger and grievance is based on an Assumption that F mispresented information about me in an email to A – that is not based on facts but based on assumptions/perceptions/ideas/beliefs/opinions within/of my mind, which is not real and that I am delusional to believe those make-beliefs to be real. I accept and realize that I am manipulating myself into the self-definition of a victim through my make-beliefs so that I can blame instead of taking self-responsibility.
I do not accept and allow myself to believe assumptions/perceptions/ideas/beliefs/opinions to be real.
I do not accept and allow myself to delude myself into believing that which come up into my mind must be real and true.
I do not accept and allow myself to believe whatever my mind tells me merely because those thoughts pop up into my mind.
I do not accept and allow myself to trust my self-deluded make-beliefs.
I do not accept and allow myself to be led into emotional reactions of grievance and anger due to my accepted and allowed delusions as make-beliefs.
I do not accept and allow myself to be directed by make-beliefs/perceptions/ideas/interpretations/assumptions that come up into my mind.
I do not accept and allow myself to participate in self-manipulation, manipulating myself into the self-definition as a victim.
I do not accept and allow myself to victimize myself and abdicate self-responsibility.
I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility for myself for what I have accepted and allowed - the make-beliefs that I have created within my mind in the first place and my self-created definition of a victim and the self-manipulation techniques I used to manipulate myself into believing myself to be a victim and the emotional reactions of grievance, anger and blame.
Re-scripture of the practical solution for the trigger point
Please refer to the script that I have written at the end of the thought work-sheet.
The Words Work-Sheet
Word-Web: Central word: Trust/distrust Connected word: Deception, Betrayal, value/worth, Acceptance, Expectation, Disappointment, Control, Manipulation, Resentment, Distrust, The memory of college entrance examination
Self-Forgiveness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word trust with a positive value.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word trust as positive/good/right.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word positive/good/right through judging it as positive/good/right.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word trust with a negative value.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word trust as bad/wrong/negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word trust through judging them as bad/wrong/negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word deception with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word betrayal with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word value/worth with a positive value and judge it as good/positive/right.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word acceptance with a positive value and judge it as good/positive/right.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word expectation with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word disappointment with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word control with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word manipulation with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word resentment with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word distrust with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the memory of college entrance examination with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative
deception:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word deception to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word deception in polarity to the word trust.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word deception and from the word trust through defining the word deception in polarity to the word distrust – in separation of myself.
Betrayal:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word betrayal to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word betrayal in polarity to the word trust
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word betrayal and the word trust through defining the word betrayal in polarity to the word trust – in separation of myself.
value/worth:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word value/worth to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word value/worth within the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word value/worth and the word trust through defining the word value/worth within the word trust – in separation of myself.
Acceptance:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word acceptance to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word acceptance within the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word acceptance and the word trust through defining the word acceptance within the word trust – in separation of myself.
Expectation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word expectation to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word expectation within the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word expectation and the word trust through defining the word expectation within the word trust – in separation of myself.
Disappointment
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word disappointment to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word disappointment in polarity to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word disappointment and the word trust through defining the word disappointment in polarity to the word trust – in separation of myself.
Control
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word control to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word control in polarity to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word control and the word trust through defining the word control in polarity to the word trust – in separation of myself.
Manipulation:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word manipulation to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word manipulation in polarity to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word manipulation and the word trust through defining the word manipulation in polarity to the word trust – in separation of myself.
Resentment:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word resentment to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word resentment in polarity to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word resentment and the word trust through defining the word resentment in polarity to the word trust in separation of myself.
Distrust:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word distrust to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word distrust in polarity to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word distrust and the word trust through defining the word distrust in polarity to the word trust – in separation of myself.
College entrance examination:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word college entrance examination to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word college entrance examination in polarity to the word trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word college entrance examination and the word trust through defining the word college entrance examination in polarity to the word trust – in separation of myself.
Re-define the word in the centre-circle of the word-web:
New definition of the word trust:
Trust placed outside of self separate from self is self-dishonesty which manifests as relationship connections supporting mind consciousness systems and this consciousness existence of separation.
Self-trust is the expression of self that manifests in application of self as self-honesty as who I am here in every moment of every breath.
The Pictures Work-Sheet
No specific pictures are related to that original thought.
The Memories Work-Sheet
College entrance examination: The memory is about my college entrance examination which was about eight years ago. I did not perform well enough to be able to enter the top two universities in China as my father expected. My father was disappointed and angry. His claim was that he had provided me with everything he could do for my study and exam, and thus of course it was my fault that I was not able to enter the top 2 universities as he so eagerly desired. I was disgusted with his drastic change in attitude before and after the exam. I felt betrayed at the difficult time when I needed his support while what he did is to rub salt into my wound. He rubbed his nose in it many times for quite a long period of time after the exam, mentioning to me and others in conversation that my other classmates have entered those top two universities while just left me out. I see that all he cared about me entering the top 2 universities is to gain him glory. When I did not fulfill his desire and meet his expectation, he transformed himself into a completely different man. The ‘trust’ between us was ruptured – although that was not the first time but it was definitely a prominent event which burned into my mind.
Note: some of the descriptions above were made from the starting point of emotional reactions. I will sort them out in self-forgiveness.
Self-Forgiveness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the memory of ‘my college entrance examination ‘failure’ where my father changed dramatically in his attitude towards me before and after the exam and rubbing salt into my wound within which I experienced disgust, betrayal, anger and blame’ to the thought ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me.’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memory of ‘my college entrance examination ‘failure’ where my father changed dramatically in his attitude towards me before and after the exam and rubbing salt into my wound within which I experienced disgust, betrayal, anger and blame’.
I forgive for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memory because I see it as a traumatic experience where I saw the deceptive nature of my father’s ‘care’ and that I have defined the word betrayal, deception, disgust, and anger within this memory.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto this college entrance exam failure memory because I have defined it as a trauma – instead of realizing that the trauma is of the mind consciousness system and not of who I really am – who I really am as LIFE cannot actually be harmed or traumatized.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive believe that I have been harmed emotionally by my father instead of realizing that it is merely a perception of the mind consciousness system within me which I have believed to be who I am.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the words betrayal, deception, disgust, anger and blame within the college entrance exam failure memory.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the words betrayal, deception, disgust, anger through defining these words within the college entrance exam failure memory in separation of myself.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am equal and one with these words betrayal, deception, disgust, anger and that I am responsible for my experience as these words betrayal, deception, disgust and anger because I betrayed and deceived myself from my very starting point of placing trust within my father in separation of myself and thus the disgust and anger I experienced towards my father is actually what I am experiencing within myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as self-dishonesty in self-separation.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am responsible for my experience of betrayal, deception, disgust, and anger and that I cannot blame my father for what I experienced because then that would be abdication of self-responsibility.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto disgust, anger and blame towards my father instead of taking responsibility for myself for what I have accepted and allowed of self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my father for not supporting me when I was having a difficult time while what he did is to ‘rub salt into my wound’.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have separated myself from self-support through placing support into my father in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my father because apparently it is his fault to ‘rub salt into my wound’ instead of realizing that my reaction towards his reaction is my own responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my father’s words personally – while what he was saying and what he was doing was merely expressing and reflecting what was going on within himself.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am responsible for taking my father’s words and actions personally and participating in reactions to my father’s reactions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my father for rubbing his nose in it many times for quite a long period of time after the exam, mentioning to me and others in conversation that my other classmates have entered those top two universities while just left me out.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to my father’s words of rubbing his nose in it about my college entrance exam failure – instead of realizing that I am responsible for taking them personally and reacting to those words.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility through blaming my father for my reactions towards his words and actions through taking them personally.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the emotional reaction of anger, disgust and blame based on my own reactions towards my father’s words and actions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the emotional reaction of anger, disgust and blame – instead of taking self-responsibility for my reactions and stop them.
Self-Corrective Statements:
I accept and realize that I am responsible for my experience of betrayal, deception, disgust and anger because I betrayed and deceived myself from my very starting point of placing trust, care and support within my father in separation of myself and thus the disgust and anger I experienced towards my father is actually what I am experiencing within myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as self-dishonesty in self-separation.
I accept and realize that I am self-responsible for taking my father’s words and actions personally and thus reacting to him and I accept and realize that blaming my father for my reactions is an act of abdication of self-responsibility.
I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility and sort out my starting point of self-dishonesty as placing trust, care, and support within my father in separation of myself.
I accept and realize trust, care, support is here as who I am in every moment of every breath.
I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the construct of blame, abdicating self-responsibility.
I do not accept and allow myself to take my father’s words and actions personally or reacting to them.
Re-scripture of the practical solution for the trigger point:
When the thought ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me’ and the word ‘trust’ comes up into my mind, I stop and breathe, I do not accept and allow myself to continue to participate in this thought and go into the memory of college entrance examination failure. I tell myself to ‘Stop!’ ‘Delete!’ If it comes up over and over again I investigate the memory to see whether there are still points that I have not dealt with yet and assist and support myself with effective self-forgiveness and self-corrective-application.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Check out the following websites:
Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/
Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/
Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/
My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum
My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.
No comments:
Post a Comment