Working on the Jealousy System in DIP

The following is extracted from my 8th assignment of the Introduction to Desteni Course within the Desteni I Process( http://desteniiprocess.com/ ) , where I worked on the Jealousy system.





Writing:




Recently we have been having quite some group discussions on QQ(a software that is like skype but mainly used by people in China Mainland). A person L who recently started to participate actively in Desteni Chinese seemed to have done a lot of reading on various materials and she has been answering people’s questions and directing the situation very effectively. After observing this person’s expressions and what she did, I had a thought of ‘Her contribution is more than me – the boss’(The actual thought is in Chinese“功高盖主”and here I am translating it into English for understanding). I compared myself with her and felt inferior and perceived that my thunder has been stolen. I experienced jealousy towards her for her expression. I noticed this point and applied self-forgiveness on it.



I this assignment I am working with the system of jealousy.







The various components I will be working with:



Thought: Her contribution is more than me – the boss.



Emotions and Feelings: Emotion: sadness



Words: Jealousy



Pictures: the picture is using a fist to beat a person’s head down onto the electric stove.



Memories: My father’s jealousy







The Thoughts Work-Sheet



Her contribution is more than me – the boss.





Self-Forgiveness



I forgive for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the thought ‘her contribution is more than me – the superior’ when I saw the person L was very effective in answering people’s questions in the Desteni QQ group.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought ‘her contribution is more than me – the superior’ to seeing the person L being very effective in answering people’s questions.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing seeing the person L being very effective in answering people’s questions to exist as a triggering point within me, triggering the thought ‘her contribution is more than me – the superior’.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself with L in the ability to answer people’s questions.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself with L in knowledge and understanding.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in comparison and competition with L.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from L through participation in comparison and competition.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel inferior to L through my participation in comparison and competition.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that inferiority actually exists.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that superiority actually exists.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself in comparison to others as ‘more than’ or ‘less than’ them.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as less than in comparison to L in knowledge and understanding of materials.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as less than in comparison to L in answering people’s questions.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as less than in comparison to L in information processing skills and reading abilities.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be superior.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the make-belief that I am superior.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard L as my subordinate and thus ‘supposedly’ inferior.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/treat L as my equal.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from l through regarding L as my subordinate and me as the ‘boss’.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an idea of me being the boss and L as my subordinate.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe myself to be the boss and that my authority should not be challenged or threatened by my ‘subordinate’.



I forgive myself to perceive/believe that my status as a boss has been threatened because the subordinate is more than me the boss, instead of realizing that the ‘boss’ status is not real in the first place – it is just an idea within my mind which I used to hide the inferiority that exist within me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the boss belief of myself to hide/cover up the inferiority that exists within me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate and exist within the polarity design of inferiority and superiority.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel/perceive/believe that my status of superiority has been threatened by L, instead of realizing that the belief of me being superior is not real in the first place.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the self-definition of being superior.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing superiority to exist within and as me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use knowledge and information to create the belief of superiority/inferiority.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I know more than others then I am superior.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel inferior to a person when that person knows something that I do not know yet.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use/abuse/manipulate knowledge and information to hold onto my self-belief of being superior.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always want to win within my mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to think that I know this knowledge that you do not know so I am still better than you – I am still superior to you.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself to believe that I am still superior to keep my superiority intact.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the believed superior status that I have established within my mind.



I forgive myself to connect losing superiority to fear and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the superiority status that I have established within my mind is not real and is just an idea/belief about myself.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the self-definition of being superior.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive that my thunder has been stolen by L because she is getting more attention than me in the group.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to get other people’s attentions because I have not given myself attention.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself with L in how much attention is given to us.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire that people focus more on me than on L.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel threatened when I see L gets more attention from others.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I cannot tolerate another person being more than me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the belief that the ‘subordinate’ should not be better than the ‘boss’.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the desire to contain the person always less than me so that I can always be more than.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be always more than others.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always want to win over others.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be jealous of L because I perceive/believe that L is more than me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as less than/more than, inferior/superior through comparison and competition with others.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the self-judgments as more than/less than, inferior/superior is real.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel threatened by beings who I see as superior to me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use nastiness, spite and gossip to exalt myself as ego above the other being within my mind – so that I can feel like I have won and other being has lost.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and destroy whoever I am jealous about – through nastiness, spite and gossip.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the thought everybody falls as a means to make myself feel that I have won within my mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to put the being who I perceive to be more than me down so that I do not experience inferiority.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility through believing that it is the person outside me who I perceive to be superior to me that is causing me to be inferior – instead of realizing that I am responsible for what I experience within me – the inferiority/superiority.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within jealousy lies an opportunity for me to assist and support myself in learning from the person I am jealous about – so that I equalize myself with this being.





Self-Corrective Statements:



I accept and realize that comparison and competitions is of the mind, supporting the polarity game of superiority/inferiority, win/lose and does not support who I really am as Life.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in comparison and competition of the mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the polarity game of superiority/inferiority, win/lose of the mind through participation in comparison/competition.



I do not accept and allow myself to support my mind of the polarity game.



I support who I really am as LIFE here in breath.





I accept and realize that superiority/inferiority is not real – they are games played within my mind which I believed to be real. I accept and realize that the idea of me being the boss the superior and L being my subordinate the inferior is not real – it is just an idea within my mind and that it is not actually supporting anyone.



I do not accept and allow myself to believe that superiority/inferiority is real.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the mind game of superiority/inferiority.



I do not accept and allow myself to hold onto the perception/idea/belief of me being the boss/superior and L being my subordinate/inferior.



I do not accept and allow myself to support the illusion of myself of my mind as perceptions/ideas/beliefs that I have created as myself which I have believed to be who I am.





I do not accept and allow myself to judge myself or others as less than/more than, superior/inferior through my participation in comparison/competition.



I do not accept and allow myself to judge others as that would be accepting and allowing myself to judge myself.





I accept and realize that whenever anything nasty comes up about another person, it is because I am jealous. I accept and realize that nastiness, spite and gossip are indicators of jealousy.



I accept and allow myself to investigate within myself the point of jealousy when nastiness, spite and gossip come up about another person.



I do not accept and allow myself to feed nastiness, spite and gossip through participation.



I do not accept and allow myself to feed the desire to win within my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to feed the desire to destroy others, to bring them down because I am jealous of them.





I accept and realize that jealousy furthers the enslavement of separation.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in jealousy.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the enslavement of separation through participation in jealousy.





I accept and realize that within jealousy lies an opportunity for me to assist and support myself in learning from the person I am jealous about – so that I equalize myself with this being.



I accept and allow myself to assist and support myself in learning from the person I am jealous about.



I accept and allow myself to equalize myself with the person I am jealous about.



I accept and allow myself to equalize myself with the person L in information processing ability, reading ability, understanding, realizations, ability of answering questions effectively.





Rewriting the script:



When I see L being effective in answering people’s questions in Desteni QQ group, I do not accept myself to participate in the thought ‘Her contribution is more than me the boss’. I stop. I breathe. I do not accept myself to go into comparison and competition or create the self-judgment of inferiority, which is not real. Instead, I assist and support myself to equalize myself with the being in the ability of information processing ability, reading ability, understanding, realizations, ability of answering questions effectively. I stand one and equal with the being L as myself.







The Emotion or Feeling Work-Sheet



Emtion: Sadness



Self-Forgiveness:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the emotion of sadness.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the emotion of sadness to exist within and as me.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the emotion of disappointment.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the emotion of disappointment to exist within and as me.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the emotion of sadness as disappointment to the thought ‘her contribution is more than me-the boss’.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad and disappointed when I perceive that L has surpassed me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad and disappointed because I believe that I have lost my forerunner position.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad and disappointed because I believe that I have been left behind by somebody who joined in later than me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being left behind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect being left behind to fear and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive/believe that I have lost my position as a forerunner.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive this process as running a race.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to my position in the process.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as being superior according to my position in the process.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad and disappointed because of the perceived ‘loss’.





Self-Corrective Statements:





I accept and realize that each one is in their individual process and that my position in the process does not define who I am. And that this process is not like running a race at all – who is the first runner, who runs better, who runs faster, who is ahead, who is behind etc.



I do not accept and allow myself to compare myself with others in where we are currently in our process.



I do not accept and allow myself to define myself according to my position in the process.



I do not accept and allow myself to define others according to their position in their process.



I do not accept and allow myself to use my position to support my ego superiority.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in comparison, competition like running a race in this process.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the emotion of sadness and disappointment based on illusions as ideas of running ahead or being left behind within the ‘race’.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the ‘race’ in this process.



I accept and allow myself to walk this process as who I am equal and one with others walking this process together with me – assisting and supporting each other as who we really are as LIFE.





I accept and realize that I ideas and values that I have attached to forerunner in the process is not real and that it does not support me or anyone.



I do not accept and allow myself to hold onto the ideas and values that I have attached to forerunner.



I accept and allow myself to live here without the ideas and values attached to definitions separate from me here.





I accept and realize that the emotion of sadness and disappointment is based on the idea that I have apparently lost my position in the process and that it is not real.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the emotional experience off sadness and disappointment.



I do not accept and allow myself to be directed by an idea that I have apparently lost my position in the process because that idea is not real in the first place.



I accept and allow myself to drop the values ideas that I have attached to my position in the process.





Rewrite-scripture:



When the thought ‘Her contribution is more than me the boss’ comes up, I stop and breathe. I stop the emotional experience of sadness and disappointment. I accept the being as one and equal as me - assisting and supporting each other as who we really are as LIFE. I assist and support myself and others to equalize each other, learn from each other – not to abuse my position to feed my ego.





The Words Work-Sheet



Word-Web: Central word: Jealousy Connected word: Superior, inferior, Nasty, spitefulness, Comparison/competition, intolerable, Disappointment, Revenge, Best/Top, judgment, win, lose



Self-Forgiveness



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word jealousy with a negative value.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word jealousy as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word jealousy through judging the word jealousy as bad/wrong/negative.







Superior:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word jealousy to the word superior.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word superior in polarity to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word superior and the word jealousy through defining the word superior in polarity to the word jealousy in separation of myself.





Inferior:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word inferior to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word inferior within the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word inferior and from the word jealousy through defining the word inferior within the word jealousy in separation of myself.





Nasty:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word nasty to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word nasty within the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word nasty and from the word jealousy through defining the word nasty within the word jealousy in separation of myself.





Spitefulness:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word spitefulness to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word spitefulness within the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word spitefulness and from the word jealousy through defining the word spitefulness within the word jealousy in separation of myself.





Comparison/competition:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the words comparison/competition to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the words comparison/competition within the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the words comparison, competition, and jealousy through defining the word comparison and competition within the word jealousy in separation of myself.





Intolerable:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word intolerable to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word intolerable within the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word intolerable and from the word jealousy through defining the word intolerable within the word jealousy in separation of myself.





Disappointment:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word disappointment to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word disappointment within the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word disappointment and from jealousy through defining disappointment within the word jealousy in separation of myself.





Revenge:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word revenge to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word revenge within the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word revenge and from jealousy through defining the word revenge within the word jealousy in separation of myself.





Best/Top:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word best/top to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word best/top in polarity to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word best/top and the word jealousy through defining the word best/top in polarity to the word jealousy in separation of myself.





Judgment:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word judgment to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word judgment within the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word judgment and from jealousy through defining the word judgment within the word jealousy in separation of myself.





Win:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word win to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word win in polarity to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word winand the word jealousy through defining the word win in polarity to the word jealousy in separation of myself.





Lose:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word lose to the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word lose within the word jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word lose and from jealousy through defining the word lose within the word jealousy in separation of myself.





Re-define the word in the centre-circle of the word-web:



Jealousy is a mind consciousness system design which stems from inferiority, superiority, self-judgment and comparison and it is based on pictures and furthers the enslavement of separation – Jail-Us-In.







The Pictures Work-Sheet



The picture is using a fist to beat a person’s head down onto the electric stove: There is a burning electric stove in the middle. A woman’s head is facing downward on the electric stove with a fist hitting at the back of her head – hitting her head onto the electric stove.



Self-Forgiveness



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in my mind in the picture of using a fist hitting at the back of a woman’s head to force her head onto the burning electric stove.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the picture of using a fist hitting at the back of a woman’s head to force her head onto the burning electric stove to exist within and as me.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the words jealousy, nastiness, anger, resentment, destroy, abuse, beating down to the picture of hitting at the woman’s head onto the electric stove.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define jealousy, nastiness, anger, resentment, destroy, abuse, beating down within the picture of hitting at the woman’s head onto the electric stove.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the words jealousy, nastiness, anger, resentment, destroy, abuse, beating down and from the woman within the picture through defining these words within the picture of hitting at the woman’s head onto the electric stove.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have become the beast of jealousy represented and reflected by this picture within my mind.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought ‘her contribution is more than me – the boss’ to exist as a trigger point within me, triggering the picture of hitting at the woman’s head onto the electric stove.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the picture of using a fist to hit on the woman’s head onto the electric stove to the thought ‘her contribution is more than me the boss’.





Self-Corrective Statements



I accept and realize that this picture represents the jealousy that exist within and as me of the mind accompanied by nastiness, anger, resentment, desire to destroy and abuse and beating down the being that I am jealous of. I accept and realize that the more I react to the picture the more attention and thus power I am giving it thus giving it permission to possess me. Who I really am is not a picture within my mind and that it is not acceptable to allow myself to be directed and controlled by such a picture in my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to separate myself from my accepted nature as jealousy, nastiness, anger, resentment, desire to destroy and abuse.



I accept and allow myself to see and investigate what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as jealousy, nastiness, anger, resentment, desire to destroy and abuse and beating down reflected in the picture within my mind.



I accept and allow myself to stand up within it and take self-responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as jealousy, nastiness, anger, resentment, desire to destroy and abuse.



I accept and allow myself to stand up, stop and transform my accepted nature of jealousy, nastiness, anger, resentment, desire to destroy and abuse to live as who I really am as LIFE here in breath.



Re-writing the scripture:



When the picture comes up into my mind again, I stop, I breathe, I bring myself back to the physical and participate something in the physical. If the picture keeps coming up over and over again, I check whether there are points that I am still holding onto which I have not applied self-forgiveness to release myself from. I stand up and take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as jealousy, nastiness, anger, resentment, destruction and abuse. I do not allow myself to continue to live such applied nature. I remain here as breath in and as the physical assisting and supporting myself to walk transformation of my accepted nature into LIFE.





The Memories Work-Sheet



My father’s jealousy: Two years ago when I went back home in China from US. I showed my parents a video of me giving a lecture in English on a class which received some cool audience feedback. After seeing that video, my father also attempted to give a ‘lecture’ in front of us. My mother knew why he was doing that since they have been living together for so many years – the reason is that he was comparing with me in the video and was trying to show us that he is also able to do that sort of things – in my mother’s words he has such a strong ‘upward mobility’. Well, it’s basically driven by comparison and competition - even between father and son. This memory is related to the original thought in that now my father is in the role of the ‘boss’ and I am in the role of the ‘subordinate’ in the hierarchy interpretation of the father-son relationship, while the pattern is the same – comparison and competition.





Self-Forgiveness



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memory of two years ago when I showed my parents a video of me giving a lecture in English on a class and my father participated in comparison and competition and attempted to prove to us that he is able to do the same by trying to give us a lecture.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my father for his participation in comparison and competition.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my father through my participation in judgment of my father.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to shift responsibility onto my father instead of realizing that I have become exactly the same as my father within participation in comparison, competition and jealousy.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to the video of me giving a lecture in English.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word self-expression to the video of me giving a lecture in English.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define self-expression within the video of me giving a lecture in English.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from self-expression through defining self-expression within the lecture video in separation of myself.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the memory of me showing my parents a lecture video of me where my father participated in comparison and competition to the thought ‘her contribution is more than me – the boss’.



Self-Corrective Statements:



I accept and realize that judging my father for his participation in comparison, competition and jealousy is me shifting my responsibility to others so that I do not face my accepted and allowed mind pattern of comparison, competition and jealousy.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in my mind in memories trying to divert my attention from myself to others so that I can shift my responsibility of working with what I have accepted and allowed.



I do not accept and allow myself to divert my attention away from taking self-responsibility through working with the pattern that I have accepted and allowed.



I do not accept and allow myself to use mental projections to escape from facing myself.



I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility, investigating and working with what I am experiencing and who I am within my experience.





I accept and realize that self-expression is here as who I am in every moment as every breath – not defined by a video where I see myself as being expressive.



I do not accept and allow myself to define my self-expression within a lecture video which I see myself as being expressive.



I do not accept and allow myself to separate myself from self-expression through defining my self-expression within a video.



I accept and allow my self-expression here as who I am in every moment as every breath.





Re-writing the script:



When the thought ‘Her contribution is more than me – the boss(功高盖主)’ comes up, I stop and breathe. I do not accept myself to go into my mind participating in memories – shifting my responsibility to others within memories. I remain here as the breath of life, taking self-responsibility for the point that I am dealing with, and express myself as who I am in the moment as breath.


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