Working on the Trust System in DIP

The following is extracted from my 7th assignment of the Introduction to Desteni Course within the Desteni I Process( http://desteniiprocess.com/ ) , where I worked on the Trust system.





Writing:




I will take the most relevant part of an event that happened in my world for the purpose of this assignment.



The event that took place involved another two persons which I will use F and A to represent them. F and I had disagreements on some issues. F sent to A an email which involved something about me, but I did not know the specific content of that email. But from A’s response, I had a thought that ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me.’



The related system design I am going to work on in this assignment is trust.







Various Components I will be working with:



Thought: The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me.



Emotion: anger



Words: distrust/trust



Pictures: No specific picture is related to the original thought.



Memories: College entrance examination







The Thoughts Work-Sheet



The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me.



Self-Forgiveness:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me.’





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me’ to my interpretation of A’s response by taking it personally.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my interpretation of A’s response through taking it personally to exist as a trigger point within me, triggering the thought ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me’.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself and my trust from myself through placing my trust outside me separate from me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself, from my own self-trust, and from the being A through defining and placing my trust within A separate from me.





I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that trusting another outside of me separate from me, defining my trust outside of myself is actually a manifestation of me being a wimp, using an excuse for not trusting myself because I actually fear taking self-responsibility.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place trust outside of me because I fear myself – fear what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear realizing and trusting my own self-honesty – taking responsibility for myself, my life and my creation as this world.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in someone else so that if they fuck up, then I am able to blame them and then I am not being responsible.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to get other people to trust me because if they trust me, I can manipulate them to have my way and control my world.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be unwilling to admit that I participated in manipulation and control within wanting other people to trust me because then I am a bad person.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as a bad person because I have judged the word manipulation and control.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the words manipulation and control as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the words manipulation and control through judging the words manipulation and control as bad/wrong/negative – in separation of myself.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/desire/need others to trust me so that I can manipulate and control others for my own advantage of my ego of self-interest.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want people to trust me so that I can manipulate them to get what I want/need/desire of self-interest.





I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that if I place my trust in another, then they will betray and deceive me – equal and one to my starting point of self-deception within placing my trust outside of me.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that betrayal does not actually exist – what exists is self-betrayal within the very starting point of trusting others and placing trust in separation from myself thus self-dishonesty and therefore I am responsible.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am responsible for the manifested experience of betrayal because I have betrayed myself through separating myself from self-trust.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that trust has never existed, but trust has been existing as a system hiding deception – what exists behind trust is deception and this world exists in deception.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that placing my trust out there in other human beings creates and compounds emotions and feelings and thoughts and memories and pictures inside the mind, thus assisting and supporting the manifestation and generation of the mind consciousness system within me.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that ‘trust’ is the relationship connection line that connects relationships as the mind consciousness systems, which is manifesting this existence of separation.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am self-dishonest from the very starting point of placing my trust within another outside of me separate from me.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the web of self-dishonesty and separation is woven through relationship connections of placing trust outside and separate from self, instead of here as self – I am self-trust, I take self-responsibility.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define trust outside separate from me, creating relationship connections of ‘attempting and trying to hide’.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide behind relationships instead of facing myself and taking self-responsibility within the application of self-honesty.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that who I am as one as equal as myself is here as every breath and in defining my trust separate from myself within another human being or other human beings within this world, I have separated me from myself which is self-dishonesty because I am separating myself from myself and existing in separation with another human being – which is manifesting a relationship, where two mind systems come together and experience each other together and support and assist each other as mind consciousness systems.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on memories to tell me what to do/who to be.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust my mind to tell me what to do and who to be.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust my memories instead of trusting myself.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility to my mind in trusting my mind rather than me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish my self-trust through continuously choosing my mind over me – following what my mind tells me to do, suppressing myself – instead of doing and saying what I see requires to be done or spoken in a moment.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing to act in breath here within the context of what is best for all, live here completely, embracing what is best for all – trusting myself and being trustworthy.





I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to live the word trust as who I am as the expression of the application of self-honesty as who I am.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within the illusion of defining my trust within another separate from me I am not actually able to trust anything or anyone within this world and within this existence – because self-trust is here as who I am in every moment of every breath.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self-trust is the expression of self that manifests in application of self-honesty as self in every moment of every breath.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self-trust is an infinite expression of self, is an infinite statement of self in application that remains as self in every moment of every breath.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self-trust cannot exist without self-honesty.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to live self-honesty as me and within self-honesty trust me.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self-honesty and self-trust are equal and one in expression and application.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self-honesty is the application and self-trust is the expression of the application of self-honesty – both self-honesty and self-trust as one living example of self is who I am here in every moment of every breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self-dishonest with the experience of myself in the moment (instead of doing and saying what I see requires to be done or spoken in a moment) and continued that self-dishonesty within me in ignoring what I am actually experiencing within me – within that I have ‘lost’ that expression of me of self-honesty and just do what everyone else wants me to do – in that inverting and suppressing myself – and in that my trust is dispersed.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the way my trust is connected to relationships outside of me is because I have suppressed my own self-honesty and therefore no self-trust exists and then I defined my self-trust separate from myself because I have separated myself from my own self-honesty.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to establish self-certainty as ‘who I am’ in every moment of every breath as the expression of self-trust within and as the application of self-honesty.





Self-Corrective Statements:



I accept and realize that trust is self-dishonesty because within placing trust outside of me, I am separating myself from myself, my trust and other human beings.



I do not accept and allow myself to place trust outside of me separate from me – I accept and allow trust the expression of who I am equal and one with the application of self-honesty as who I am in every moment as every breath.





I accept and realize that defining my trust outside of myself is actually a manifestation of me being a wimp, using an excuse to not trust myself because of fear of taking self-responsibility. And that by placing trust outside of me separate from me – I can use that as an excuse to blame if things fuck up so that I do not have to take self-responsibility.



I do not accept and allow myself to blame others if things fuck up because apparently I have placed trust within them while they have dishonored my trust.



I accept and allow myself to trust my own self-honesty – taking responsibility for myself, my life and my creation as this world.





I accept and realize that me wanting other people to trust me is because I want to manipulate others to have it my way and control my world to support my ego of self-interest



I do not accept and allow myself to use trust to manipulate and control.



I do not accept myself to support my ego of self-interest under the disguise of trust.



I accept and allow myself to stop the manipulation and control under the disguise of trust.



I accept and allow myself to live self-trust as the expression of who I am of self-honesty here in breath.





I accept and realize that the starting-point of/as trusting another outside of self is deception – and that is what I will manifest because I am deceiving myself in the very starting-point of placing my trust outside of self. I accept and realize that I am responsible for the manifested experience of betrayal because I have betrayed myself through separating myself from self-trust.



I do not accept and allow self-betrayal as my starting point of/as separating myself from my self-trust through placing trust outside of me separate from me.



I do not accept and allow myself to blame others to betray me instead I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility within self-honesty and sort out my starting point of self-betrayal.





I accept and realize that trust has never actually existed, but trust has been existing as a system hiding deception. I accept and realize that placing my trust out there in other human beings creates and compounds emotions and feelings and thoughts and memories and pictures inside the mind, thus assisting and supporting the manifestation and generation of the mind consciousness system within me and the manifestation of this existence of separation. I accept and realize that the web of self-dishonesty and separation is woven through relationship connections of placing trust outside and separate from self where two mind systems come together and experience each other together and support and assist each other as mind consciousness systems, instead of self-trust being here as self.



I do not accept and allow myself to hide behind relationships through placing and defining trust outside separate from me thus supporting the mind consciousness system and this manifested consciousness existence of separation.





I accept and realize that if I am continuously dishonest with myself – I’ll lose all trust in myself, because in moments I required to speak or act in self-honesty I followed my mind and suppressed myself and did not do it.



I do not accept myself to rely on my past/memories, thoughts, emotions, and feelings as my mind to tell me what to do and who I am.



I do not accept and allow myself to diminish my self-trust through continuously choosing my mind over me – following what my mind tells me to do, suppressing myself.



I accept and allow myself to assist and support myself to do and say what I see requires to be done or spoken in the here moment in breath within the context of what is best for all - live here completely, embracing what is best for all – trusting myself and being trustworthy.



I accept and allow myself and to take self-responsibility within the application of self-honesty as me here and express myself in self-trust accordingly in the moment of breath as who I am as one as equal as myself here within the consideration of what is best for all.





Re-scripture of the practical solution for the trigger point



When an event occurs which is unclear to me yet, I slow down and breathe. I do not accept myself to rush into reactions. If any reactions such as panic, anger, blame etc come up, I breathe and stop them. I do not accept myself to go into assumptions and interpretations, jump into conclusions, and create opinions and make-beliefs within my mind about what this event is. If such assumptions/interpretations/opinions/beliefs etc do come up, I bring them back to myself and investigate within self-honesty why do such things exist within me – if any points are revealed within investigation I apply self-forgiveness and self corrective application to sort myself out.







The Emotion or Feeling Work-Sheet



Anger



Self-Forgiveness:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to connect the emotion of anger and grievance to the thought ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me.’



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought/assumption/perception/idea/belief/interpretation that ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened’ and that has caused A to trust me’ to exist as a trigger point within me, triggering the emotion of grievance and anger.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotional experience of anger because I believed that it is all F’s fault to mispresent information to A about me which caused A to distrust me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry because I feel that I am not trusted anymore.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be trusted by other people.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the only that exists is the anger of self because of self-dishonesty.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the anger that I directed and blamed onto F is actually the anger that exist within me due to my participation in self-dishonesty.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am self-dishonest within the very starting point of placing trust within A in separation of myself so that I can manipulate and control.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotion of anger because I can no longer manipulate and control if people do not trust me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotion of anger because my self-dishonesty is not supported.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotion of anger because I believed I am the victim in this event and F is the one who abused me so that I have the right to be angry and blame F.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive/believe that I have the right to be angry because apparently I am the victim in this event and F is the one who abused me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify my anger through manipulating myself to go into the victim self-definition of being treated unfairly.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame F for my emotional reaction of anger which originates from my own accepted and allowed self-dishonesty of placing trust outside of me separate from me, so that I do not have to take self-responsibility for my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame F for my emotional reaction of anger instead of realizing that I am responsible for my emotional reaction because the anger is actually revealing my accepted and allowed self-dishonesty of placing my trust in separation of myself.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the emotional experience of grievance because I felt that I had been treated unfairly due to mispresented information about me by F.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame F for my emotional reaction of anger and grievance.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the emotional experience based on an assumption that F sent A an email with mispresented information about me while that is merely an assumption and I do not know whether that is a fact or not.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the assumption that I have made within my mind to be real.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by my own make-beliefs within my mind that is not based on facts but based on assumptions.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to jump into conclusions based on assumptions/opinions/perceptions/ideas/beliefs – conning myself with illusions that I have conjured up within my mind.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be deluded by my conclusions/assumptions/opinions/perceptions/ideas/beliefs that I have made about an event that took place.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place myself into the self-definition of a victim based on make-beliefs that I have convinced myself to be real.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to victimize myself using make-beliefs that I have created within my mind so that I can define myself as a victim and participate in the emotion of grievance, blame and anger.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to victimize myself so that I can just dwell on blame instead of taking self-responsibility.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in self-manipulation within manipulating myself into self-victimization so that I do not take self-responsibility.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be addicted to the self-victimization.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself into a victim state to abdicate self-responsibility.





Self-Corrective Statements:



I accept and realize that my grievance and anger has nothing to do with F or A because these emotions exist within me and I am responsible for my participation in them – and that I can not blame F for my emotional reaction because blame is abdication of self-responsibility.



I do not accept and allow myself to blame others for my emotional reaction which exist within me and which I accepted and allowed myself to participate in.



I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility to stop the blame that I have directed to F.



I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility to stop the emotion of grievance and anger that I participated in.



I do not accept and allow myself to justify the emotion of grievance and anger using the construct of blame or any other self-manipulation techniques.





I accept and realize that the anger that I experienced is actually anger of myself due to self-dishonesty and that I am self-dishonest from the very starting point of separating myself from my self-trust and desire trust from others so that I can manipulate and control.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the self-dishonesty of placing trust outside of me separate from me.



I do not accept and allow myself to desire/want/need trust from others just so that I can manipulate and control.





I accept and realize that my emotional reaction of anger and grievance is based on an Assumption that F mispresented information about me in an email to A – that is not based on facts but based on assumptions/perceptions/ideas/beliefs/opinions within/of my mind, which is not real and that I am delusional to believe those make-beliefs to be real. I accept and realize that I am manipulating myself into the self-definition of a victim through my make-beliefs so that I can blame instead of taking self-responsibility.



I do not accept and allow myself to believe assumptions/perceptions/ideas/beliefs/opinions to be real.



I do not accept and allow myself to delude myself into believing that which come up into my mind must be real and true.



I do not accept and allow myself to believe whatever my mind tells me merely because those thoughts pop up into my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to trust my self-deluded make-beliefs.



I do not accept and allow myself to be led into emotional reactions of grievance and anger due to my accepted and allowed delusions as make-beliefs.



I do not accept and allow myself to be directed by make-beliefs/perceptions/ideas/interpretations/assumptions that come up into my mind.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in self-manipulation, manipulating myself into the self-definition as a victim.



I do not accept and allow myself to victimize myself and abdicate self-responsibility.



I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility for myself for what I have accepted and allowed - the make-beliefs that I have created within my mind in the first place and my self-created definition of a victim and the self-manipulation techniques I used to manipulate myself into believing myself to be a victim and the emotional reactions of grievance, anger and blame.





Re-scripture of the practical solution for the trigger point



Please refer to the script that I have written at the end of the thought work-sheet.







The Words Work-Sheet



Word-Web: Central word: Trust/distrust Connected word: Deception, Betrayal, value/worth, Acceptance, Expectation, Disappointment, Control, Manipulation, Resentment, Distrust, The memory of college entrance examination





Self-Forgiveness



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word trust with a positive value.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word trust as positive/good/right.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word positive/good/right through judging it as positive/good/right.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word trust with a negative value.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word trust as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word trust through judging them as bad/wrong/negative.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word deception with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word betrayal with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word value/worth with a positive value and judge it as good/positive/right.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word acceptance with a positive value and judge it as good/positive/right.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word expectation with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word disappointment with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word control with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word manipulation with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word resentment with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word distrust with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the memory of college entrance examination with a negative value and judge it as bad/wrong/negative





deception:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word deception to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word deception in polarity to the word trust.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word deception and from the word trust through defining the word deception in polarity to the word distrust – in separation of myself.





Betrayal:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word betrayal to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word betrayal in polarity to the word trust



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word betrayal and the word trust through defining the word betrayal in polarity to the word trust – in separation of myself.





value/worth:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word value/worth to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word value/worth within the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word value/worth and the word trust through defining the word value/worth within the word trust – in separation of myself.





Acceptance:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word acceptance to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word acceptance within the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word acceptance and the word trust through defining the word acceptance within the word trust – in separation of myself.





Expectation



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word expectation to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word expectation within the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word expectation and the word trust through defining the word expectation within the word trust – in separation of myself.





Disappointment



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word disappointment to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word disappointment in polarity to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word disappointment and the word trust through defining the word disappointment in polarity to the word trust – in separation of myself.





Control



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word control to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word control in polarity to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word control and the word trust through defining the word control in polarity to the word trust – in separation of myself.





Manipulation:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word manipulation to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word manipulation in polarity to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word manipulation and the word trust through defining the word manipulation in polarity to the word trust – in separation of myself.





Resentment:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word resentment to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word resentment in polarity to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word resentment and the word trust through defining the word resentment in polarity to the word trust in separation of myself.





Distrust:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word distrust to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word distrust in polarity to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word distrust and the word trust through defining the word distrust in polarity to the word trust – in separation of myself.





College entrance examination:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word college entrance examination to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word college entrance examination in polarity to the word trust.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word college entrance examination and the word trust through defining the word college entrance examination in polarity to the word trust – in separation of myself.





Re-define the word in the centre-circle of the word-web:



New definition of the word trust:



Trust placed outside of self separate from self is self-dishonesty which manifests as relationship connections supporting mind consciousness systems and this consciousness existence of separation.



Self-trust is the expression of self that manifests in application of self as self-honesty as who I am here in every moment of every breath.







The Pictures Work-Sheet



No specific pictures are related to that original thought.







The Memories Work-Sheet



College entrance examination: The memory is about my college entrance examination which was about eight years ago. I did not perform well enough to be able to enter the top two universities in China as my father expected. My father was disappointed and angry. His claim was that he had provided me with everything he could do for my study and exam, and thus of course it was my fault that I was not able to enter the top 2 universities as he so eagerly desired. I was disgusted with his drastic change in attitude before and after the exam. I felt betrayed at the difficult time when I needed his support while what he did is to rub salt into my wound. He rubbed his nose in it many times for quite a long period of time after the exam, mentioning to me and others in conversation that my other classmates have entered those top two universities while just left me out. I see that all he cared about me entering the top 2 universities is to gain him glory. When I did not fulfill his desire and meet his expectation, he transformed himself into a completely different man. The ‘trust’ between us was ruptured – although that was not the first time but it was definitely a prominent event which burned into my mind.



Note: some of the descriptions above were made from the starting point of emotional reactions. I will sort them out in self-forgiveness.





Self-Forgiveness





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the memory of ‘my college entrance examination ‘failure’ where my father changed dramatically in his attitude towards me before and after the exam and rubbing salt into my wound within which I experienced disgust, betrayal, anger and blame’ to the thought ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me.’





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memory of ‘my college entrance examination ‘failure’ where my father changed dramatically in his attitude towards me before and after the exam and rubbing salt into my wound within which I experienced disgust, betrayal, anger and blame’.





I forgive for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memory because I see it as a traumatic experience where I saw the deceptive nature of my father’s ‘care’ and that I have defined the word betrayal, deception, disgust, and anger within this memory.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto this college entrance exam failure memory because I have defined it as a trauma – instead of realizing that the trauma is of the mind consciousness system and not of who I really am – who I really am as LIFE cannot actually be harmed or traumatized.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive believe that I have been harmed emotionally by my father instead of realizing that it is merely a perception of the mind consciousness system within me which I have believed to be who I am.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the words betrayal, deception, disgust, anger and blame within the college entrance exam failure memory.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the words betrayal, deception, disgust, anger through defining these words within the college entrance exam failure memory in separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am equal and one with these words betrayal, deception, disgust, anger and that I am responsible for my experience as these words betrayal, deception, disgust and anger because I betrayed and deceived myself from my very starting point of placing trust within my father in separation of myself and thus the disgust and anger I experienced towards my father is actually what I am experiencing within myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as self-dishonesty in self-separation.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am responsible for my experience of betrayal, deception, disgust, and anger and that I cannot blame my father for what I experienced because then that would be abdication of self-responsibility.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto disgust, anger and blame towards my father instead of taking responsibility for myself for what I have accepted and allowed of self-dishonesty.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my father for not supporting me when I was having a difficult time while what he did is to ‘rub salt into my wound’.



I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have separated myself from self-support through placing support into my father in separation of myself.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my father because apparently it is his fault to ‘rub salt into my wound’ instead of realizing that my reaction towards his reaction is my own responsibility.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my father’s words personally – while what he was saying and what he was doing was merely expressing and reflecting what was going on within himself.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am responsible for taking my father’s words and actions personally and participating in reactions to my father’s reactions.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my father for rubbing his nose in it many times for quite a long period of time after the exam, mentioning to me and others in conversation that my other classmates have entered those top two universities while just left me out.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to my father’s words of rubbing his nose in it about my college entrance exam failure – instead of realizing that I am responsible for taking them personally and reacting to those words.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-responsibility through blaming my father for my reactions towards his words and actions through taking them personally.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the emotional reaction of anger, disgust and blame based on my own reactions towards my father’s words and actions.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to and as the emotional reaction of anger, disgust and blame – instead of taking self-responsibility for my reactions and stop them.





Self-Corrective Statements:



I accept and realize that I am responsible for my experience of betrayal, deception, disgust and anger because I betrayed and deceived myself from my very starting point of placing trust, care and support within my father in separation of myself and thus the disgust and anger I experienced towards my father is actually what I am experiencing within myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as self-dishonesty in self-separation.



I accept and realize that I am self-responsible for taking my father’s words and actions personally and thus reacting to him and I accept and realize that blaming my father for my reactions is an act of abdication of self-responsibility.



I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility and sort out my starting point of self-dishonesty as placing trust, care, and support within my father in separation of myself.



I accept and realize trust, care, support is here as who I am in every moment of every breath.



I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the construct of blame, abdicating self-responsibility.



I do not accept and allow myself to take my father’s words and actions personally or reacting to them.



Re-scripture of the practical solution for the trigger point:



When the thought ‘The email F sent to A must be untrue and misrepresentative about me and what happened and that has caused A to distrust me’ and the word ‘trust’ comes up into my mind, I stop and breathe, I do not accept and allow myself to continue to participate in this thought and go into the memory of college entrance examination failure. I tell myself to ‘Stop!’ ‘Delete!’ If it comes up over and over again I investigate the memory to see whether there are still points that I have not dealt with yet and assist and support myself with effective self-forgiveness and self-corrective-application.

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Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/


Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/


Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/


My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum


My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe

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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

self-forgivess on Trust

Osho: Trust is Not Transferable

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWwMwE_phOE



Note: The following self-forgiveness was published on my Chinese blog on October 11, 2009, which I am now moving here to this English blog.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to knowledge and information, instead of living that which i have realized one and equal as myself, manifesting myself as the realization.








I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to i have to remeber the realization in order to not forget it, instead of realizing that the reason i am able to forget is because i am existing in separation from that which i am trying to remember with my mind instead of actually living the realization.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to live one and equal the realization through physical application, manifesting myself as that which i have realized one and equal as myself, thus not being able to forget what i have realized and also no need for memoring the realization as merely knowledge and information.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to base my trust on my past moments according to specific applications that i feel effective, instead of trusting myself here in the moment -- a brand new moment, no attachment to the past moments.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to see with common sense that if i am here in the moment completely, i can not have any attachment to the past moments that i have experienced -- i am entirely here in this new moment honouring who i really am in this entirely brand-new moment.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that the past moment has already passed, and i am now in the brand new moment, why would i allow myself to still be attached that which has already passed while not honouring myself here in this new moment?







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that the power is here in this moment and when i participate in my mind and hold onto attachments towards the past moments, i am only missing the moment that is here, not completely being here honouring the moment making the fullest use of the moment here.







I forgive myself that ihave not allowed myself to see with common sense that when i am here why do i have the need to be attached to the past moments?







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my past realizations that is of common sense.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my past, fear my past, perceive/believe that i must separate myself from my past in order to be self-honest.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my past realizations are completely useless and that i must do exactly the opposite in order to become self-honest.







I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate self-trust that i have built and self-realizations from my past experiences.







I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to define self-trust according to the past moments instead of realizing self-trust can only exist in every moment -- every moment is a new moment, I am here in the moment then i apply what is here in the moment. I do not accept myself to be defined by my past.







I am not past-defined. I am here in the moment as the moment as breath. I am brand new in every moment. I trust myself as every moment. I am not past-defined. My application is in every moment as every moment as self-trust. No attachment to the past!






I am here! I am here! I am the moment! I am in every moment! I express myself as every brand new moment! I honour myself in every new moment! I trust myself as every new moment!

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Check out the following websites:

Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/


Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/

Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/


My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum


My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP

Self-Forgiveness on Points Related to a Personality

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a cool Teaching Assistant(TA).




I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to want and desire to be regarded as a cool TA.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel good that those students think me to be cool.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that the students think me to be cool.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of good when I perceive/imagine that those students think me to be cool.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to an energetic charge of feeling.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by energy instead of me standing as the self-directive principle in my world.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the self-definition as a cool TA to gain value and worth –which indicates that I have not accepted value and worth as who I am Here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from value and worth through placing value and worth in a personality definition of being a cool teaching assistant instead of realizing that value and worth as LIFE is here within and as me as who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that who I am is dependent on other people’s feedback on me – if I am more popular, I am becoming something more; if I am less welcome, I am becoming something less.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am according to other people’s feedback on me.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself unconditionally Here as who I am.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to change myself around students to fit into the idea of a cool TA that exist within my mind.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to laugh out of nervousness, to cover my nervousness within communication with other students.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience nervousness within communication with other people.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in nervousness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be the emotion of nervousness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience nervousness and anxiety and uncertainty when not knowing how to handle the situation instead of trusting myself here as myself in every moment of breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in and define myself according to and as nervousness and anxiety and uncertainty.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the thought ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as a thought ‘I can do nothing.’



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior because I believe that ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the situation where I perceive/believe that I cannot handle to exist as a trigger point within me – triggering the thought ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought ‘I can do nothing’ to the situation where I perceive/believe that I cannot handle the situation.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the self-belief that ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought ‘I can do nothing’ to be real and actually live according to it and create and manifest it.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotion of inferiority.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the emotion of inferiority to the thought ‘I can do nothing’.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the thought ‘I can do nothing’ to the memory of me being a teaching assistant in another course where I felt inferior to another TA because of my ineffectiveness of handling that situation.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief about myself that ‘I can do nothing’ according to my experiences of participation in the educational system after I came to US.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memory of me being a TA with another TA for the course of astronomy where I was ineffective/unstable and felt inferior.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ineffective/unstable/fluttered/inferior/fuck-up/stupid/anger to the memory of being a TA with another TA Wanyu Ye for the course of astronomy.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the words ineffective/unstable/fluttered/inferior/fuck-up/stupid/anger within the memory of being a TA with another TA Wanyu Ye for the course of astronomy.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the words ineffective/unstable/fluttered/inferior/fuck-up/stupid/anger through defining these words within a memory in separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the memory with an emotional energetic reaction of anger and blame.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the construct of anger and blame for my experience of ineffectiveness/instability instead of simply assisting and supporting myself to transform myself and my experience into stability and effectiveness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be reluctant to take responsibility for myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as ineffectiveness/instability due to my judgment, fear and resistance of my participation in the educational system.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my judgment/fear/resistance of participation in the educational system onto reading Desteni materials while it is based on my interpretation and conclusion that are drawn from the materials through my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought ‘I fucking deserve what I experienced. Fuck you.’



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought ‘I fucking deserve what I experienced. Fuck you.’to be who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word responsibility to the thought ‘I fucking deserve what I experienced. Fuck you.’and define the word responsibility within that thought.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto anger and blame within participation in the thought ‘I fucking deserve what I experienced. Fuck you.’- in the form of self-spitefulness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that by saying that ‘I deserve what I experienced’I am not blaming others while the actual fact is that I am still blaming in the form of self-spitefulness – and the word ‘fuck you’ is an obvious indicator of anger/blame/spitefulness.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto blame in the form of self-spitefulness so that I can continue to exist as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become instead of assisting and supporting me to take self-responsibility and transform my experience into that which I would actually enjoy rather than the one of anger/blame/self-spitefulness/self-destruction.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in self-spitefulness as a form of punishment of myself and those who I directed my blame towards.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite and destroy myself so that I can continue to blame.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to exist as the construct of blame of self-enslavement.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite and destroy myself instead of transforming/changing myself within seeing the common sense that blame is never going to get me anywhere but self-destruction and self-enslavement.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my self-definition of anger and blame instead of realizing that it does not assist me in any way whatsoever.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought ‘I am willing to’ as a defense mechanism of/from/through my mind of blame.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that thought ‘I am willing to’ as a defense mechanism of/from/through my mind of blame to be who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the inner demon of anger and blame for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become that is not honoring who I really am as LIFE.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest with myself – indicated in the anger that I experience – being angry with myself for not being honest with myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue my existence of self-abuse and self-dishonesty through the construct of blame.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be the construct of blame instead of realizing that it is not who I really am of/as LIFE.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as inferiority and attempt to become superior through becoming the personality of a cool teaching assistant.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I am becoming something more than through becoming a cool TA.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the polarity of superiority/inferiority. I stop. It’s not who I am.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as lack of trust.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself as who I am Here in every moment of breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust into a personality of being a cool teaching assistant.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of me into my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of me into thoughts as what my mind tells me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I cannot trust myself within situations that I have never handled before and perceive/believe that I must trust what my mind tells me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to misplace my trust outside of me separate from me instead of trusting myself here in every moment of breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of me into my past habitual patterns which I have defined as who I am and trusted.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into past memories as how I behaved and acted.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into what I see people around me doing – attempting to copy them as a way to survive in the situation which I perceive/believe that I do not know how to handle.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into people’s feedbacks.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into what I perceive/believe would be acceptable by this world through my mind based on interpretations and assumptions.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in separation of myself into assumptions/interpretations/perceptions/ideas/beliefs/conclusions of/as the mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I can not trust myself and that in order for me to survive in the situation I must trust something that I believe to be more than me – which I believed to be my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my mind to be more trustworthy than myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that my mind is able to help me survive the situation.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior (in fear) to my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my mind to be more than who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by the need to survive – where I placed my trust in the mind, believing it will get me through.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place hope into my mind – hoping my mind to get me through situations that I believe that I cannot handle.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as hope – instead of realizing that hope enslaves me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck myself with hope instead of trusting myself here as the breath of life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in hope.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope situations to get better by itself instead of directing myself to transform/change myself and my world.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a nervous system demon within me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as the nervous system demon that I have created by myself.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to impress the students using words and laughter so that they can accept me as a cool TA – instead of me accepting myself and expression myself as who I am here in breath.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect students to regard me as a cool TA.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience nervous and anxiety in communication with others because I expected them to see me in a certain way I wanted them to see.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and as expectations.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto expectations of students seeing me as being a cool TA.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the self-expectation of being seen as cool.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value and worth in being seen as cool because I have perceived myself to be a boring person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a boring person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word boring with a negative value.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word boring as bad/wrong/negative.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word boring through judging it as bad/wrong/negative in separation of myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for my perception that I am a boring person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike myself because I have defined myself as a boring person.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as cool/interesting.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have a personality of being cool/interesting/outgoing.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being cool/interesting/outgoing/extroversive as good/positive/right and charge them with a positive value.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the polarity of being boring/reserved/introverted and cool/interesting/outgoing/extroversive





I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that all desires are merely reflections of the core desire for self because I have separated myself from here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from here as the breath of life as who I really am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being less than those people who are perceived to be extroversive, interesting and cool.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for myself outside of myself instead of realizing that I am already here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have ‘lost’ myself – instead of realizing that I am lost in the mind as what I have believed to be who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to find myself outside of myself – instead of realizing and accepting that: I am here.



The following ten self-forgiveness sentences are from the Introduction to Desteni course materials with regards to the point of desire:

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my desires.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly follow my desires, believing that these desires are who I am and that it is my benefit to now act on my desires – when actually desires are merely sexual energy that was transferred into my mind and that such desires exist to distract me from myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from everything and everyone that exists.



I forgive myself that I have ont accepted and allowed myself to accept myself as equal and one as all and everything that exists.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as ‘less than’/’inferior to’ others.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I desire something, it is because I believe that that which I desire can ‘give me’ something, as though that something is not already who I am.



I forgive myself for not accepting myself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in nagging feelings of ‘something is wrong’, ‘I am not satisfied’, ‘I am not complete’, ‘I am not fulfilled’ – and to believe such experiences to be real, to be me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need/require to be in a relationship with someone or something in order for me to be complete fulfilled and satisfied with myself.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I am in a relationship, I am still here and I am still me and nothing has actually changed in relation to ‘who I am’.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define expression and joy within beings who are perceived to be interesting/cool/extroversive outside of me separate from me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from expression and joy through defining expression and joy outside of me separate from me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek expression and joy within the personality of being interesting/cool/extroversive – outside of me separate from me.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed expression and joy as me as who I am here as one with me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive and believe that I am able to find expression and joy within becoming a personality of being interesting/cool/extroversive.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that expression and joy is me as who I am – and that I do not need to search them outside of me in separate manifestations.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/believe that I am not allowed to have expressions and being joyful.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define any form of expressions as of the mind and of self-dishonesty – thus not allowing myself to have any form of expressions.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself because I have allowed myself to suppress my self-expression.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow my self-expression to flow.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold my self-expression back within the belief that I cannot and I am allowed to have expressions.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the make-belief that if I have any form of expressions I am being self-dishonest and thus in order for me to be self-honest I must suppress any form of expressions that may possibly come out.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse self-expression with emotions and feelings.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to self-expression within emotions and feelings instead of realizing that emotions and feelings are of the mind and is not of who I really am as LIFE.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as suppression of self-expression.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from people who I perceive to be interesting/cool/extroversive through accepting and allowing myself to define my expression within people who I perceive to be interesting/cool/extroversive outside of me separate from me – instead of accepting expression as me as who I am.





I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to laugh out of personality design from my mind to support my self-dishonesty instead of laughing as an unconditional self-expression.



I forgive myself that i have accetped and allowed myself to laugh as a reaction towards other beings' words which are not even funny.



i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to expect to make fun and react to other people's words.



i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react to other people's words and formed a habitual behavior of laughing and reacting to other people's words which i imagined to be funny while it is not.



I forgive myself that I have not been aware of this pattern because I have accepted it as me to such an extensive extent.



I forgive myself that I have not accepted laughing as unconditional self-expression as who I am.





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I stop the search for and of self – I realize and accept that who I am is here and that I am equal and one to all that is here. I accept and realize that the way to realize self as here equal and one is breathing – focus on my breathing – breathing naturally, being here as self-presence and self-awareness within and as everything I touch.



I accept and realize that expression is one with me as me as who I am here as the breath of life thus I do not need to seek expression outside of me separate from me in a personality defined as being interesting/cool/extroversive.



I accept and realize that anger and blame takes me nowhere but self-destruction and self-enslavement.



I accept effectiveness and stability as who I am.



I do not accept and allow myself to hold onto anger and blame for what I have become.



I accept and allow myself to take self-responsibility and transform/change what I have become that is not of who I really am as LIFE and live as effectiveness and stability within and as the breath of LIFE as who I am here.



I use the anger to stand up – to no longer allow myself to continue to exist within and as that which I know is not of who I really am as LIFE – but honor myself as who I really am as LIFE.



I stop the game of inferiority/superiority of polarity.



I do not accept and allow myself to place trust within my mind as thoughts/emotions/feelings/interpretations/perceptions/ideas/belierfs/assumptions/projetions etc outside of me separate from me – I accept and allow trust as me as who I am here as the breath of LIFE – I trust me here as breath within handling a situation that I have not handled before.



I do not accept and allow myself to place my trust in hope – enslaving myself into hope. I accept and allow myself to actually practically transform/change/direct myself and my world as myself.



I do not accept and allow myself to be driven by survival – believing that my mind is able to get me through/survive situations.



I accept and allow myself to trust myself and direct myself in my world in breath when facing a situation – I trust myself to give it direction instead of me being directed by my mind.





I accept and allow expression as me as one with me as who I am Here – not separate from me in something or someone outside of me separate from me.



I accept and allow laughter as me as one with me – not a personality defined reactive habitual behavior.

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Check out the following websites:



Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/



Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/



Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/



My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum



My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe

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I am a DIP agent. If you like what I do, you can work with me in the DIP.

Self and Self-Expression

The following is a modification and expansion of a blog post I published on my Chinese blog on 2009-7-23.


A quote from desteni: "thus in applying forgiveness in every moment, before acting or speaking, making sure I stand as self awareness as me and correct what is necessary within (which is that which had been the cause through acceptance and allowance by me to manifest what exist within me and my world that is not of who I really am)"

I did not understand self. I formed an idea that self is only within which is defined as a personality while the outer world from my previous understanding is more of a random environment, instead of realizing that by the law of my being the inner reality as me is one and equal with the outer reality as my world as me. So Self exists both within and without - one and equal. Self is the origin - all points all sources of this reality. This is the correction of the misconception that I have formed about self.

The perception of 'something outside self separate from self' is an indication of separation - 'outside self' is not restricted to self's external world - all the points that self has separated self from is OUTSIDE SELF both within and without within the realization that self exists both within and without one and equal. All separation points are represented/contained by/as the mind as thoughts, emotions and feelings. If I have any thoughts, emotions and feelings, I am existing in self-separation. Yet it is not to judge separation but to stand one and equal Here with it and stand up from it and stop/correct self. Thus I correct myself within and live the solution without through/by/as Common Sense as what is best for all in every moment.

Self expression is not about expressing something towards somebody/something. It is shared in Desteni materials that Self-Honesty = Self-Trust = Self-Expression. So my current defintion of Self-expression would be: expression of self as who I am within/as self-trust as self-honesty. The starting point of self has to be self-honesty. Within Self-honesty, I can start to build self-trust. If the starting point is self-dishonesty,then I cannot trust myself because everything that flows from self-dishonesty is a lie. Within self-trust, I can express myself within my living expression the trust of/as who I am in/as self-honesty.

However, how to 'get' from inner awareness to outer expression? Infinite moment between the in breath and the out breath - common sense as taking into consideration what is best for all in the moment.

In every moment as every breath we stand as life, within Common Sense as what is Best for All in every moment to drive the existence into the manifestation that is Best for All.

I realize much of what I have written here is still knowledge and information - not yet a self living expression as who I am. It is a process for me to learn what self-honesty/self-trust/self-expression actually means in practical application.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as something within/as my body separate from everything else in reality.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize my oneness with/as all of existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not even able to perceive that I am one with all of existence because I have defined myself as this limited and separate self from all of existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive this existence to be a collection of separate/impenetrable/conceptualized/abstract/solid entities that are disconnected from each other - and within such an acceptance and allowance of concepts of how and what this reality is, I also created such an idea about myself as an abstract/impenetrable/solid separate self from everything else within existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the mind set of this existence being a collection of separate objects.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the perception/idea/belief that I formed about reality/existence - a collection of separate objects - to be real instead of realizing that it is merely an interpretation that I have projected onto reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the physical as consisting of separate/static/abstract objects.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the physical according to pictures that I see through my human physical eyes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the physical manifestations through defining the physical reality according to/as the pictures that I see through my human physical eyes.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question the pictured reality concept that I have projected onto the physical reality and which I have believed to be what the physical reality actually is.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that 'isolated objects' are able to exist.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to believe that the physical reality consists of isolated objects.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that everything that is Here in/as the physical is the manifestation of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate my inner reality from my outer reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive/believe that what I exprience wiithin my world has nothing to do with what goes on within me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be lost within the concept of this reality being a collection of isolated separate objects.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto this image of myself as some solid/isolated/abstract/separate concept that is separate from everything else in this reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition myself into/as this separate self concept.



I accept and realize that I am not an isolated separate island from this existence/reality. I accept and realize that all and everything that exists within reality is one with who I am.

I accept and allow myself to embrace all and everything in this reality as who I am - the first practical point is for me to stand one and equal with what I accept and allow myself to be and become.

I do not accept and allow myself to hold onto the idea of me being an isolated object that is separate from everything in existence.

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Desteni website: http://www.desteni.co.za/
Equal Money System: http://www.equalmoney.org/
Desteni I Process: http://desteniiprocess.com/
My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/WeiWuHere?feature=mhum

My Chinese Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiudaozhe