Self-forgiveness on emotional reaction towards missing an appointment again

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad that i missed the appointment with Leila again.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being stupid and feel guilty that i have missed the appointment instead of realizing that self-judgement and the emotion of guilt is not going to make a difference but trap myself further into this loop where i have to face myself again to stop the self-judgement and the emotional reaction.


I stop self-judgement. I stop the emotional reaction. I am here as breath.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to receive Leila's emails about me missing the appointment because i fear that i may be blamed.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to look at Leila's emails because i have attached an negative emotional energetic charge to the email which represents blame for me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react emotionally towards people who has ever blamed me for something that i have done 'wrong'.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the polarity of right/wrong and good/bad, giving permission for polarity to direct me and enslave me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to develop a pattern of protective/defensive reaction towards people who i perceive to be going to blame me.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the person who i perceive to be going to blame me as the cause for why i feel bad about myself and react to that person emotionally, instead of realizing that the emotional reaction exists within me as the power source of me as a MCS as i participate within it, thus i am responsible for allowing myself to go into reactions.


I forgive myself that ihave accepted and allowed myself to participate in my mind in the picture of attacking the person who i believed is going to blame me and cause me to feel bad and at the same time imprint the emotional energy onto that picture through my participation in reaction, forming a particular thought/emotion construct within in my mind which i have defined as and belived to be who i am.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have formed this habitual pattern of reacting to the person who i believe to have caused me to feel bad about myself through participation in reaction when i encounter the same situation.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined/identified myself as this thought/emotion construct as pictures together with emotional energetic imprint, thus participating in it everytime in the same situation, instead of realizing that it is a system construct and that it is not who i really am -- if i allow myself to participate in such constructs i am allowing self-abuse.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape the negative feeling through defense/protection mechanism as emotional reactions towards that which i believed to be the source of my negative feeling out there separate from me, instead of realizing that defense/protection mechanism is not solving the problem at all, but just another MCS pattern/construct which further enslaves me into the mind trap when i participate in it and define myself as it.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself through participation in my mind in such a particular thought/emotion construct to charge my MCS to continue to enslave myself into a systematic construct further.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to check my email account because i fear to experience that 'bad' feeling within me instead of realizing that the feelings and emotions as energetic charges experinced within me is a MCS design - it is not who i really am.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission for apparent 'negative'energetic feeling within me to direct and move me, going into resistance towards that which i perceive as 'negative', instead of realizing that i am allowing myself to be enslaved by my mind through my acceptance of being directed by energetic charge.



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have identifed myself with the emotional/feeling energetic movements within me, allowing myself to be directed by such energetic movements, instead of realizing that they are not real, and simply stop, breathe and direct myself.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into the experience of being directed by energetic charges within me, instead of realizing that i am allowing myself to abdicate self-directive principle and allowing myself to give my power away to the MCS which i have accepted and allowed myself to become and define myself as.


I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to direct myself - to stand as the self directive principle, not allowing thoughts/emotions/feelings/energetic movements to direct and move me.



I direct myself. I move myself.