Asking questions

I used to suppress myself within asking questions about Desteni material. How to ask questions specifically that can assist and support myself? When is asking questions from the starting point of finding fault and when is asking questions from the starting point of self-support?

self-driven change

Change is always self-driven -- either self as Life willed or self as cause equal to and one with consequence - enforced. Easy way or hard way?

application for the development of political leaders

http://desteni.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?t=16495

Hi Bernard,

I intend to become politically active in People's Republic of China.

I see the inevitability of the realization of self as Life as all as one as equal -- the desteni of the universe. The whole Existence is in this process of self-realization. The intrinsic meaning of "my life" Here exists within aligning myself with this process and contributing to my best to bring all to the realization of self as Life within oneness and equality.

Within the context of the Process of the whole existence, i see the inevitalbe realization of equality among all human beings within the current unequal status. What is necessary to be done to bring all human beings to equality is the implementation of the equality system -- equal money,equal labor and equal education system -- to replace the current system that is supporting abuses of Life and atrocities in this world. The equality system requires actual physical implementation.

Considering the current situation of the world being separated by countries, the implementation of the equality system world wide requires adjustments and preparations in individual countries with leaders/participants understanding the big picture of the unification of all human beings to equality within the context of the whole existence being in the Process of realization of self as Life as all as one as equal. Thus participation in politics in individual conturies is required to bring the equality system world-wide into reality.

Considering my placement in this world in terms of what i can do to contribute in this Process,specifically the preparation within individual countries for the implementation of the equality system , i immediately see my effective position in China -- the country where i was born and spent most of my life. In China there is the main party in power -- the Chinese Communist Party. Although what this party is currently doing is not supporting equality, the fact that it is at least named a communist party with its maximum program being the realization of Communism and its tenet "Serve the people wholeheartedly" that is being widely propagandized are at least not in contradiction with the equality and oneness principle. The political foundation that is laid out by the Chinese Communist party is able to be used for the implementation of an equality system world-wide. Actually in Janunary this year, I had this 'idea' coming up of transforming the Chinese Communist Party into Life Party -- that is what i named it at that time. I even thougt about some basic principles for this party. The foundation of this party is based on the 'trinity': The Law of equality and oneness -> Equality and Oneness as Life as all as one as equal as who I really am as who we all really are -> Common Sense as what is best for all. The tenet of the party is "Serve the best interest of all wholeheartedly" as an analogy of the tenet of the Chinese Communist Party. I placed the maximum program of the Chinese Communist Party i.e. 'realization of Communism' as the medium program in Life Party. What i mean by 'realization of communism' is the realization of the equality system in the whole world and thus the realization of equality among all human beings. I placed the maximum program of the Life Party as 'Realization of the authentic self as Life as all as one as equal', i.e. the realization of the whole existence as self as Life as all as one as equal -- the desteni of the universe. The minimum program of Life Party needs to be designed specifically according to different situations, but it must be in agreement with and serve for the realization of the medium program and finally the maximum program. Considering the current situation in the world, the main goal of the minum program is to make preparations in individual countries for the realization of the equality system. So my 'plan' is to join the Chinese Communist Party, transform it into Life Party, and implement the three programs of Life Party practically and physically until it is done.

I know that is not going to be easy. I have to take into consideration of my current situation and prepare myself effectively. Currently i am majoring in physics as a graduate student in USA. In order to go back to China in the future and participate in politics effectively to implement my 'plan', I am required to align myself with the process and prepare myself efffectively. I have taken two main actions regarding my current situation in aligning and preparing myself within this process. One action is the participation in the SRAT course, which assists and supports me in understanding how the mind works and stopping the mind constructs effectively, although i am currently having difficulty keeping up with the course. The other action is to change my research field to a more potentially useful and practical area -- biochemical physics -- which is closely related to 「System Theory」 which studies in general the properties of complex systems, although the word system used here may not be of the exact same connotation as is used in desteni. Also since i have never been interested in or even considered politics before, i am required to familiarize myself with how politics works and especially i need to know Chinese Communist Party more. So I have done some research on Chinese Communist Party and found that some of the words they used, the specific word placements, and the way sentences are structured are effective. Although the main problem of the party is that the words are not lived/applied/implemented effectively. In this research process i also found some real beings in China -- those who really care and are making a difference within their current situations, who i will probablly work with in the future. However, this level of preparation in politics is far from sufficient. I want to participate in the 'development of political leaders' to receive specific trainings to prepare specifically the way before me -- going back to China and implementing the plan of transforming the Chinese Communist Party into Equal Life Party and preparing for the implementation of the equality system, realizing the equality system and finally the realization of all self as Life within oneness and equality.
This is the reason why i want to take this road.

self-forgiveness on feeling that i have been left behind

The pattern of feeling that i have been left behind.

Why do i have to struggle? Why am i struggling? Why??? What am i doing to myself? What am i experiencing? Why am i experiencing this? Why do i refuse to see what the hell i am doing to myself? Why does life have to become struggle? Why do i have to make my life a struggle?

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to handle more than one point at the same time -- when something is Here for me to deal with, i immediately think about something else that i have not yet done, and thus when i am dealing with what is at hand i am not completely Here but veering into my mind thinking about that what i am going to do with that i have not yet done and this results in ineffectiveness of getting what is Here done effectively within breath.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel scattered with the work that i am to do -- wanting to do more than what i can handle in every moment, instead of realizing the common sense that no matter how much work i am to do i can only do one thing a time and that the most effective way to get things done is to do one thing at one time and get it done and then move onto the next.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to jump between points -- thinking one point that i want to deal with and then in the middle i jump to another point that popped up into my mind and then i follow that which popped up into my mind and forgot that which revealed first -- jumping among points, not being effecitve in getting each point cleared up effectively.

Till here no further! I accept and allow myself to deal with one point at one breath and get it done and then move on to the next point.

I accept and allow myself to deal with the priority point that is Here and then move on to the next.

I do not allow myself to get scattered around, jumping among things and getting flustered and overwhelmed because i am trying to manage all the points at the same time while not being effective in either point.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to do more than what i can handle effectively in every moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to catch up because i feel that i have been left behind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become anxious that i have been left behind and that there are so much work that i need to do in order for me to catch up.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to get things all done in one moment so that i can catch up.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that i may get left behind.

I forgive myself that i have accetped and allowed myself to do things within the pressure of catching up instead of being here directing myself and the situation to get it done effectively.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel defeated that i have been left behind because i felt that there is no way i am going to catch up -- the amount of work is too much.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that the amount of work is too much for me to catch up and within this i have already given up before i even give myself an opportunity to actually take action.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up/quit because i believe that the amount of work is too much and that i am not to catch up.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to such a thought to control me/direct me instead of me directing myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and alloweed myself to define myself as this pattern of self-defeat because i believed that the amount of work to do is beyong my capability.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel intimidated/overwhelmed/flooded with that what i am requried to do and within this i have already given into such an experience and give up from the start.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up from the start even before i give myself an opportunity.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that the starting point of self-defeat is only going to manifest self-defeat, proving myself to myself what i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that i am living a self-fulfilled prophecy -- believing that i am not able to do it and than my actions are all based on this starting point and i actually create my experience as incapability.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as self-defeat.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as self-defeat.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself as self-defeat.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to see within self-honesty that i am creating myself as this experience and that i am doing it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the thought "I am not able to do it" to settle in and become my accepted nature.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i will fail anyway and that it is useless even to start.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that i am creating/manifesting myself as a "failure" which i have accepted as my self-image from the start.

I forgive myself thati have accepted and allowed to fear to get started because i believe that i am not able to do it instead of realizing that if i give into such a pattern i am only manifesting myself as my accepted nature "failure".

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to fail and believe that i will fail -- what the fuck?!

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed self-distrust to such an extent that i immediately give up in the beginning -- not even giving myself an opportunity to start.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to want to suceed and fear to fail -- the same point manifested as polarity -- wanting to win is also fearing to loose.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the polarity of success/failure and winning/losing.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and alllowed myself to form an idea of success/failure and winning/losing.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to see that both wanting to win and fearing to lose is the same point of fear.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that i do not have to desire to win i will lose instead ofrealizing that the desire to win is just another way of fearing to lose.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate the common sense that i used to develop.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that the desire of wanting to get something done is preventing me from getting it done effectively.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to say -- that is bullshit-- in my mind -- resistance towards common sense.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate the common sense that i have realized, not allowing myself to live completely as the point of self-realization.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to see the common sense that -- the desire to win is also self-distrust -- if i trust myself, i do not need desire to win -- because i know it is impossible for me to fail.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that failure is an idea that i have created within my mind and believed it to be real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear failure which is, of course, based on the idea i have formed of failure and within this i resist/deny/judge/reject failure and manifest the opposite polarity of wanting/desiring to win.

Do i need desire to get things done? Can desire help me to get things done? What is the use of desire? Totally useless!!!

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myselff to be eager to get things done instead of realizing that the eagerness is out of my fear of not getting things done effectively and i am only creaing/manifesting that which i have accepted and allowed myself to be and become -- not getting things done.

When i desire for something, i do not get it. When i do not desire it, it might come -- but it no longer matters.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed msyelf to realize that desire is separation -- believing self is lacking somehting that in order for self to be complete self must get something from outside of self to fulfill self -- the starting point is separation and will only create separation -- that which is desired must be lost for self to see the ridiculousness of desire.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to see the ridiculousness of desire.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i must desire for something in order for me to "get" something, instead of realizing that it does not work that way -- desire=lacking and will create lacking because that is the starting point.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i do not manage to keep that what i "have" i will lose them -- fear of losing=separation.

Stop the desire. Stop the struggle to keep it balanced.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i have no ambition i will feel defeated.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in order for me move myself/do something i must have the desire/motivation to do it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what i do -- being driven by some separate motivation.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without a separate motivation i am not able to do anything.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belive that i must have some interest in something in order to do it.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that if i do something solely because i am interested in it and if i believe that i am not interested in it i will not do it, that is based on self-interest.

I do not need separate interest/desire/motivation for me to move.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by interest/desire/motivation separate from me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self-movement/self-direction.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if i am not moved by interest/desire/motivation i will not be able to enjoy myself.

I am self as joy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as struggle and live out my self-definition as struggle.

I forgive myself hat i have accepted and allowed myself to define life as a struggle.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to form an idea that in order for me to walk this process i have to be struggle because it is very difficult instead of realizing that i am living my idea of this process of being a struggle.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in order for me to not get left behind i must struggle to catch up.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to first create the situation that i am fucked and then try to walk out of it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live out my self-definition as this pattern of believing that i must first suffer/struggle and only then am i able to walk through it.

I forgive myself htait have not allowed msyelf to realize that iam creating/manifesting unncessary situations for myself and that i am allowing myself to be directed by my own ideas and beliefs.

I forgive myself that i have acccepted and allowed myself to believe that i must first fuck myself before i can get out of it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to cotinue to participate in this pattern of first creating the situation that i do not enjoy and then have to walk throught it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately create the situation where i exist in stress/tension/anxiety/self-defeat/wanting to quit/giving up/desperation/helplessness/powerlessness and then fuck myself within this experience.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize what is it that iam doing to myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my resonance, regarding resonance as something that is more than me and separate from me and that i must give my power away to my resonance.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel that i am a slave to my resonance, instead of realizing that i am giving my power away to my resonance through separation of myself from myself as my SR.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to regard my resonance as a dictator that is dictating me instead of realizing that the reason that i have regarded the resonance to be more than me is because of the separation that i have accepted.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to accept me as a system -- standing equal and one with and as me Here as the system that is all me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to stand equal and one with me and as me as the system because i have believed that if i stand one and equal with the system i will become the system instead of realizing that i have already been the system and that is all me and that by saying "i willl become the system" is implying that i am believing that i am not the system that is actually me and that i have separated myself from my self as the system and existing in an illusion that i am apparently not the system and within this separation of who/what i am Here, i have given my power away and having no power to transform myself.

I forgive myself thati have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be something different from who/what i am Here -- separation.

Walk through manifested consequences

When the consequences are already playing out, there is no point of reaction. I have to walk through the consequences that i have accepted and allowed within me. My reation towards that which has already manifested makes no difference but only traps myself even more. The manfiested consequences are not to be judged but to be walked through within and as self-honesty.

Deal with what is directly Here

Work with the point that is Here in every moment as every breath -- this is the most effective way to move, otherwise i will only be prolonging my process. One of the problems that i have been having is that at the same moment there are several points or even many points that i want to deal with and i will feel flustered with what to do -- when i am doing something that is Here i will think about/be worried about other things that i want to do -- so i am not actually Here dealing with the point that is Here but wanting to go there somewhere else which i believe to be more important or effective than what i am dealing with Here. Well, the fact is that Being Here and working with what is Here and trust myself to be Here without being driven by ideas to go out there somewhere is where opportunity and effectiveness comes. The mind consciousness system always wants to divert my attention from what is Here that is most effective, which is usually experienced as a feeling of resistance and belief of something more important somewhere else and within this i will feel an urge to go there and leave instead of dealing with what is already Here. This point of working with what is Here is also a principle in muscle communication. The mind wants to rush, and in rush i can not get things done in the most effective way which is working with what is Here and direct what is Here. My mind willl give me ideas that what is Here is not important compared with something that my mind has constructed through ideas/beliefs/perceptions. For example, today my world started to move again. Tomorrow i will have a QFT class when a homework is due and i have not yet done my homework "as usual" -- it is a pattern i have created. In the usual days i will just spend the whole night on the problems trying to figure out how to solve them and strangely enough, i am extremely ineffective -- the simplest problem will take me about an hour to solve, which is absolutely ineffective. i wanted to go into that pattern again -- to stay up late to finish my homework-- and i experienced exactly as i experienced before -- extremely ineffective: i was stuck in the first problem -- one very simple problem but i just do not seem to be able to move on -- my past understanding, the knowledge and information seem to have disappeared and i am just stuck blindlessly struggling with what the heck the problem is. Maybe it is that i am not doing what is Here because goint into a rush and do what i believe that i need to do is just not working well enough. Just deal with what is Here, right Here, every moment, not bassed on ideas/beliefs. My mind will tell me that that is more important -- go there, instead of just being Here.

body posture

i notices a body posture that i have not realized before. this pbody osture is that my right hand tends to go up an dh i just hold it ther on my chest area -- it si like a guadrd. while my lef t hand just goes down -- not being up just dangling beside my body. What this is showing me is a pattern that i have lived out physically yet that which i have not allowed myselff to realize and be aware of. The right arm holding up is me on guard so to speak. -- protection/defend mechanism. while the left arm dangling down is me supressing mys self-expression to come through. You see that this really makes sense and this is what i have been living for quite a long itme. The suppression of self-expression and always being on guard , protecting/defeniding myself. Now i have noticed this point, i will pay attention to it and see what my body is telling me tthat i am living out. Also the body poture -- when i am sitting on the chair, i just noticed that i have been favoring myself as the structure part -- the right hand side of my body -- and i am giving less atterntion to the left side of my boduy -- the expression part. I need to restructure my world in such a way that i can assit and support myself expression.

It is interesting to see that i have beening my computer for quite a few places and still i am not finding a place yet that when i work on the computer i am able to be comfortable and everything just comes handy.

The last time i moved my computer onto my bed and yet the bed is very low so that i have to turn my body to one side. and the one side i turned to is the right and since then i have been in that physical body posture when i was working on my computer. so what i have being doing and what that body posture has been reflecting to me and the discomfort that i experienced in that body posture is taht i am suppressing my self-expression. It is an imblance between structur-e and expression -- expression has been suppressed. And when i have my back pack on my shoulder, i feel that discomfort on my left shoulder -- the back pack seems to be always wanting to slip off from my left shoulder -- and i am not giving attention to that -- and i am enduring that suffering without looking at the reason why i am experiencing that in the first place.

My room requires a complete restruction so that i am able to assist and support myself effectively -- to make sure that my human physical body posture are assisting and supporting myself within self-expression.